43 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of March 17, 2025

43 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of March 17, 2025

40 Random Bits of Pop-Culture Trivia We’re Baby-Birding Into Your Brain

40 Random Bits of Pop-Culture Trivia We’re Baby-Birding Into Your Brain

19 of the Best Songs With Nonsensical Lyrics

19 of the Best Songs With Nonsensical Lyrics

Voice Actors Who Were Replaced Mid-Recording

Voice Actors Who Were Replaced Mid-Recording

30 Funny Moments People Had With Total Strangers

30 Funny Moments People Had With Total Strangers

40 Random Bits of Trivia We’re Certain Our Roommate Keeps Borrowing When We’re Out of the Apartment

Someone keeps putting these back out of order!

40 Random Bits of Trivia We’re Certain Our Roommate Keeps Borrowing When We’re Out of the Apartment

March 21, 2025

Someone keeps messing with the order, and it’s driving us insane. It might seem like we’ve thrown these together haphazardly, but we've meticulously ordered them for maximum enjoyment. Like a band putting together their set list, we know which banger to start with, and which ones build nicely to that one hit fact as a climax.

We even have a few in our back pocket for encores. We don't want to be too cocky here, but we're pretty sure you'll be chanting for an encore.

40

P. Diddy

P. Diddy bragged about his private jet. Then said gas cost so much, he had to ditch it. Turned out though that there was no jet registered under his name ... under any of his many names. Diddy clarified that he meant part of a plane-a wing-and, technically, someone else owned it. CRACKED.COM

39

Loch Ness

The legend of the Loch Ness Monster goes back nearly 1,500 years. GRACKED.COM Written in the year 565 A.D., the tale speaks of a water beast that at- tacked and killed the local people when they went in the river- now known in Scotland as the River Ness. — Source

38

South Park

south Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut Exactly 399 curse words are uttered during the movie. Trey Parker and Matt Stone wanted to make their R-rating worth their while. They topped off their swearing count at 399 because 400 would have given the movie an NC-17 rating. CAKES Drinkis CHOCO CRACKED.COM — Source

37

Dennis Hopper

CRACKED.COM Dennis Hopper's career was saved by John Wayne. Hopper had been ostracized from Hollywood for eight years during the 60s-until Wayne and director Henry Hathaway gave him a second chance on The Sons of Katie Elder, which got Hopper back into the industry. — Source

36

Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx

Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx were low-key together for six years. They dated from 2013 and 2019, and mostly kept their relationship really, really under wraps-they appeared together in public very rarely. CRACKED.COM

35

Apple Seeds

CRACKED APPLE SEEDS ARE POISONOUS. Amygdalin is a compound found in apple seeds, and it is poisonous to humans. However, it would take around 40 apples to produce enough seeds for a fatal dose. — Source

34

Bears

U.S. government advice for running from bears says you shouldn't sacrifice your friends. A set of recommendations from the National Park Service cautions against pushing down a friend who's slower than you (even if you think the friendship has run its course). NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

33

Viruses

A man turned himself in to the police after a computer virus told him to pay a fine or risk investigation. 020N $ 13.5 M.K. MAKOW Matthew Riley believed the message was from the FBI, so he took his computer to the police, where they found inappropriate pho- tos and communications with an underage girl. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

32

Walmart

Wal-Mart used to take out life insurance policies on their employees. WAL MART SECTION GUARANTEED CRACKED.COM The corporation would then keep the payouts when they died, a prac- tice colloquially known as Dead Peasant Insur- ance. — Source

31

Bosnia

CRACKED BOSNIA'S FESTIVAL OF SCRAMBLED EGGS. The U.S. might celebrate spring with a spring cleaning, but Zenica, Bosnia, kicks off the season with Čimburijada - a tribute to scrambled eggs. They cook them in a large pan in a city park, then spend the day partying, BBQing and jumping in the river. — Source

30

Nigeria

Many homes in Nigeria have This house is not for sale painted on their exterior. CRACKED.COM In Nigeria, there are scam artists who sell you houses by pre- tending to be the own- ers and get paid a con- siderable deposit by deceiving buyers. — Source

29

Jewish Law

It became Jewish law that any woman could divoce her husband if he became a dyer. CRACKED.COM Making a purple pigment used to dye clothes for royal- ty in ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome involved harvest- ing the pigment from rotting snails, which smelled so bad that the divorce law was spe- cifically written. — Source

28

Machiavelli

CRACKED.COM Machiavelli never said, The end justifies the means. Machiavelli was much less Machiavellian than people think. His actual quote from The Prince was more about how power perpetuates itself, as whatever means the powerful use to remain powerful will always be defended as justifiable. — Source

27

Metal Gear Solid V

METAL GEAR SOLID V GAVE AWAY ITS ENTIRE PLOT WITH THE SONG IN ITS TRAILER. CRACKED.COM The lyrics of Garbage's Not Your Kind of People acts as a huge plot synopsis, including Big Boss rebuilding his army, a plot against English speakers, and Big Boss actually being a medic in disguise. — Source

26

Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss was a beloved children's author. And he didn't like children. Theodor Geisel, who wrote under the pen name Dr. Seuss, not only never liked children, but was actually scared of them. Не never had children of his own, and according to his widow, the reason he didn't like them was that he never knew what their weird child brains would make them do next. Не ventured into children's stories when his publisher tasked him with writing a book even first graders couldn't put down, using a vocabulary of just 250 words. CRACKED.COM http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/politicaldrseuss/film.html — Source

25

Bill Nye

Bill Nye wears bow ties because a long tie would be at risk of falling into his science experiments. GRACKED.COM — Source

24

Tim and Eric Awesome Ads Good Job

Funny Celeb Commercials California ODOR BLOCKER adidas 1 TERRY CREWS' Old Spice commercials That initial run of ads where Crews screams at us in the shower were directed by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, so of course they were completely bonkers and hilarious. CRACKED — Procter & Gamble
YouTube

23

Chico Marx

CRACKED CHICO MARX Groucho's brother Leonard (Chico) Marx told his wife, Remember, honey, don't forget what I told you. Put in my coffin a deck of cards, a mashie niblick, and a pretty blonde. (A mashie niblick is a type of golf club.) — Mental Floss / TCM

40 Tyrannical Bits of Trivia That Are Gaining An Unsettling Amount of Followers

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20 Futuristic Technologies People Are Pretty Sure the Government Already Has

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40 Foreign Words to Spice Up Your Vocabulary

22

Space Corned Beef

A corned beef sandwich was smuggled into space. Astronaut John Young smuggled a corned beef sandwich into space aboard the Gemini 3 mission. Не hid the sandwich in his spacesuit pocket and shared it with the other crew members. NASA banned smuggled sandwiches from future missions. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Now-You-Know Facts That Sat On Our Chests Like A Sleep Paralysis Demon

21

Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp consulted on Hollywood westerns. GRACKED.COM Wyatt Earp was the last surviving participant of the OK Corral shootout, dying in 1929, aged 80. He'd held many jobs throughout his career, such as an enforcer at a brothel and Hollywood consultant. — Source: 15 Head-Spinning Facts That Really Boggled Our Minds

20

Judd Apatow

Celebrities on dating shows Judd Apatow tried to tempt dates with weird mouth noises and hand-farting on 1986's The All-New Dating Game. CRACKED.COM — Featureflash Photo Agency/Shutterstock
Clip on YouTube

19

Warrants

CRACKED.COM MYTH: Police can't enter your house without a warrant. REALITY: If they suspect something is wrong, they can. Police are allowed to enter a house if they think someone's life is in danger, if they think there's a suspect they're chasing inside the house, or if they need to collect evidence because there's a chance it might be destroyed. They can also enter if they think there's a dangerous drug lab inside, or if there's a child with serious (and probably abusive) injuries or neglect. The same goes for animals. — Source: 14 Myths About Crime We Believe (Thanks To Pop Culture)

18

Rebel Dogs

DOGS ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE REBELLIOUS DURING THEIR ADOLESCENCE. Like humans, dogs are more likely to experience heightened conflict during puberty. CRACKED.COM — Source: 21 Dog Facts That Are Pleasant As Hell

17

The Simpsons

James L. Brooks has a condition in his contract that the Fox network cannot interfere with 'The Simpsons.' Не was able to do that, be- cause Fox back then was a minor fledgling network. Former showrunner Bill Oakley compared working on the show to working in a bubble due to the lack of interference. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — LA City Beat

16

Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney CRACKED.COM McCartney had no problem with Yankovic parodying Live and Let Die, but he's famously the most vegetarian, so he didn't want it to be called Chicken Pot Pie. Yan- kovic ended up scrapping the whole thing because Tofu Pot Pie just doesn't have the same ring to it, and besides, the chorus of my song 'Bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk' and tofu doesn't make any noise. — Rolling Stone

15

The Philtrum

What's the area between your nose and upper lip called? It's called the philtrum. Researchers did a study that suggests philtrum contours make a person more attractive and look younger, but they were trying to get you to have a new kind of surgery. CRACKED.COM — Source: Aesthetic Surgery Journal

14

Joe Namath

N.Y JETS VS BALTIMORE COLTS 12 GRAGKED.COM Jets quarterback Joe Namath grew up idolizing Colts' QB Johnny Unitas, and almost everyone expected the Colts to brush the Jets aside, as they had done to most teams that season. But in 1969, the Jets exposed the myth that the NFL was far superior than the little league AFL, beating the Colts 16-7 in Super Bowl III. — Source: sports.betmgm

13

Neckties

Neckties were originally worn by Croatian mercenaries. During the Thirty Years' War, in the 1600s, France hired Croatian mercenaries who wore cravats as a kind of neck armor. After the war, French noblemen took a fancy to these scarves, which were then further adopted by the English, and progressively evolved into the strangling symbol of office drudgery. CRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Random Facts For Your General Edification

12

Star Wars

Thomas Brodie-Sangster, AKA Jojen Reed from Game of Thrones, plays a First Order officer in The Force Awakens. Не jumped at the role, even though it has only one line, as Star Wars was a big childhood thing to tick off the list to him. Plus, he's always wanted to play a bad guy, and that counts. CRACKED.COM — 12 Stealthy Celebrities Cameos In Films

11

Whoopi Goldberg

Whoopi Goldberg Caryn Johnson changed her name, When you're performing on stage, you never really have time to go into the bathroom and close the door. So if you get a little gassy, you've got to let it go. So people used to say to me, You are like a whoopee cushion. And that's where the name came from. CRACKED.COM — Source: New York Times

10

G.I. Joe

G.I. Joe's Snake Eyes is only black to save paint. They made him black so they wouldn't have to put any paint on the action figure -- it's 100% black, the color of the plastic straight from the vat. CRACKED.COM — 6 Shockingly Dumb Reasons People Invented Famous Characters

9

Nintendo

CRACKED.COM 1970s-1980s Video games NINTENDO IS AS OLD AS THE EIFFEL TOWER. M 1889 Playing cards — Source: 25 Then/Now Demonstrations Of Time's Power

8

Pharrell Williams

CRACKED.co COM Pharrell Williams occasionally asks for a framed photograph of Carl Sagan in his riders. Initially, his crew did it as a joke because Williams is a big fan of Sagan. He appreciated the sentiment and started asking for it himself. — 22 Bizarre, Real Demands Made By Celebrities Behind-The-Scenes

7

The NFL

Bob Costas got penalized for speaking out against concussions in the NFL. He's a broaodcaster who'd been covering the NFL for decades, and NBC removed him from Superbowl coverage after his comments. CRACKED.COM — Source: ESPN

6

Safe Selfie

Russia created a Safe Selfie campaign with a booklet about what not to do. The booklet, distributed in schools, says you shouldn't do things like climbing an electrical pylon or hanging from a rooftop just to get likes. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source: UPI

5

Shaun of the Dead

Edgar Wright couldn't afford the music he wanted in the Winchester scene in Shaun of the Dead. He wanted Sinead O'Connor's Nothing Compares to You (that's what he played while they were filming), but it cost way too much, so he settled for Chicago's If You Leave Me Now. It — Source: FilmSchoolRejects

4

Jeremy Strong

15 WTF Things Actors Did For Their Art - Jeremy Strong begged Aaron Sorkin to tear-gas him in The Trial of the Chicago 7.

Aaron Sorkin said that, whi — Source: IndieWire

3

Art Theft

40 Random Bits of Trivia We’re Certain Our Roommate Keeps Borrowing When We’re Out of the Apartment — Source: 6 Perfect Crimes That Got Foiled By Stupid Accidents

2

Cameos

You probably missed Bill Murray in Dumb and Dumber To. His character is hard not to notice, but since he never removes the mask, few have realized he'

1

Travelodge

To celebrate Christmas 2007, Travelodge in the UK offered a free room to any committed couple who could prove their names were Mary and Joseph. Travel

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