34 of People’s Favorite Long Jokes

We can appreciate short jokes for getting to the point, but some zingers need the space to stretch their legs before they really get going. A Redditor shared the one below, noting that the names can be adapted depending on who you’re talking to. Here it goes:

Hercules, Quasimodo and Angelina Jolie are sitting in a pub.

Hercules says, “I’m so strong. I bet you I’m the strongest person in the world.”

Quasimodo says, “I’m so ugly, I reckon I’m the ugliest person in the world.”

Angelina Jolie says, “Everyone says I’m beautiful, I bet I’m the most beautiful person in the world.”

Hercules says, “Let’s find out. Let’s all go down to the Guinness World Records Office, and we’ll meet up later and show each other our certificates.” 

So they all go down to the Guinness World Records Office. Later, Angelina Jolie is sitting in the pub when Hercules walks in. Hercules holds up his certificate and says, “Look it’s official, I’m the strongest person in the world!” Angelina Jolie holds up her certificate and says, “And mine says I’m the most beautiful person in the world!” Quasimodo, however, walks in the door empty-handed and asks, “Who the fuck is Eric Trump?”

That’s a rich tapestry of joke-telling that would truly suffer if ever truncated. 

Other Redditors have shared the lengthy jokes that they love telling, our favorites of which involve a conniving parrot, a rotten tomato and an emotional costume party.