38 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of October 27, 2025

They’re desperate
38 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of October 27, 2025

If you had a rough week, just know that Colin Farrell needed 46 takes to film a single scene of Minority Report

On a recent segment of The Late Show, Farrell remembered his wild boy past, and admitted that he had “one of [his] worst days on a film set” the day after his 31st birthday.

“It was my birthday on May 31st, and we were shooting. I begged production — who did I think I was? — of a $120 million film if they’d not have me working on my birthday. So, of course, my pickup was 6 a.m. on May 31st, and I got up to all sorts of nonsense the night before. I remember getting into bed, and as soon as I turned off the light, the phone rang and it was the driver. (He) said, ‘It’s 10 past 6.’ And I went, ‘Oh, <excrement>.'” 

He attempted to remedy the situation with “six Pacifico cervezas and a packet of 20 Marlboro Red,” which didn’t work, resulting in 46 takes of Farrell trying to say one line of dialogue.

Thankfully, hilarious people on Twitter get things right the first time, as proven by this week’s best tweets, which involve beautiful bean footage, how it feels to network and a singles conference. 

 

 

s ... clem @daughterclem - 17h Post ... clem @daughterclem.21h I can't wait for Touching Yourself Tuesday 2 32 del 341 aiko @kaebedoreal_2.19h Why wait now? ITS TUESDAY SOMEWHERE 1 1 ill 23 clem @daughterclem8h Wait you're right... let's stream Touching Yourself open.spotify.com 11 1 aiko @kaebedoreal_2.2h ... Wait thought we were just touching ourselves 1 del 9 37 2.9K 45K del 387K
Skyler Higley @skyler_higley - 21h ... There should be a neutral guy between god and the devil 1.1K 2.6K 32K del 830K
Nes s ... @feydemon 18h Adventure time got a princess for everything what do you mean embryo princess Saturn @FinnMer12099379 . 23h THIS KID IS SUPPOSED TO BE EMBRYO PRINCESS??????? x.com/FinnMer1209937... PERRY OOK BACK 2.7K 850K 61 63K
O Eve @evek181818 Oct 26 ... no I'm not gonna lie, some of that stuff didn't have to happen @laylology Oct 25 Realizing everything had to happen exactly the way it did to experience the joys you have now GIF 8.6K 57K 48 del 1M
Nae @NaesCloset 23h ... Any moment can be an opportunity to yearn! Today 10:13AM Babe what should | be for Halloween My wife 122 8.6K 99K del 1.2M
@30GotNext Oct 25 Smiley ... Power just went out while watching the Conjuring From José Arcadio Buendía 303 6.9K 119K del 6.7M
s ... halcy @halcyon_dot_exe 11h remembered at like 15 i was pushed to join this kids startup pitch weekend event thing histed by google. my idea for a computer parts recycling and resale thing made it all the way to the end before being failed by the google rep because i wouldnt consider using prison labour Youth Startup Worken Weak A C die 13 218 7.2K del 78K
Rand @randizzleDee.. Oct 26 ... Yeah sure let's get mad at the person trying to do something about evil witches haunting the town Ersin @Ersin0X Oct 24 An unhinged female jogger has left a California family feeling uneasy after she punched their Halloween decorations in two 'creepy' attacks. Ten days after the first attack, the jogger was caught on camera attacking the witches again. Grandmother said she found it strange that Show more 6 333 8.3K 153K
в askerville @WB_Baskerville Oct 25 O ... don't understand how this painting could not be extremely famous. How am I just now hearing of it for the first time sean @DilettanteryPod Oct 23 The Monkey Who Had Seen the World, Edwin Landseer, 1827 114 6K 122K del 2.8M
+ @oliviersaidhi . Oct 25 ... ib at the grocery store every time like dam what do i like to eat and drink 60 15K 133K del 1.6M
S ... (432hz) @basedantichrist • Oct 25 Dad now D We aren't normal white people. Notification Center x Chase 1m ago 2 Apple Cash $7.00 Mom 7:30AM M Have you thought about giving your heart to Jesus? 247 9.1K 230K 4.9M
Patrick Comiskey @Comiskey22 . . 21h ... At the Chili's bar at O'Hare. Guy sitting next to me isn't flying anywhere. Lives in the area. Stopped here for a drink. This is, without a doubt, the most insane thing I have ever witnessed. 734 936 40K 3.5M
V. Joshua Adams @vjoshuaadams.20h ... Friend's son (8) informs me that if being a professional baseball player doesn't work out, he is considering a career in poetry. 19 188 6.5K del 53K
Rachel Lapides @rachellapides 15h ... I think this guy is cute but it turns out he has a girlfriend. I look at the girlfriend's Instagram and it turns out she runs a meme page. On the meme page are multiple screenshots of my tweets #feelingawesome 7 37 5.6K del 88K
Pavlov's hog @worstmichael 21h ... A nurse on Hinge has offered to remove my stitches so I don't have to go back in to urgent care next weekend 8 27 2.7K 29K
lost everything betting on the sushi race @unclehaver . 13h ... I would love to be a professional baseball pitcher in the major leagues and the sports announcers say, of me, while I am on the mound, this is what they have left 21 647 12K 209K
lily @hondacrvthe3rd . 2 20h s ... can't stop laughing @ my doordash delivery picture 17 124 5.5K del 48K
keith @kkrocketz. Oct 27 ... i hate to say it honestly but the best thing ever is really smoking weed and laying down 30 1.8K 10K 130K
men for fielder @loafgren 12h S ... Skyler Higley @skyler_higley Oct 26 There should be a neutral guy between god and the devil 25 1.5K 22K 521K
manuel @manwelllb_ Oct 28 ... some of my married coworkers aren't wearing their wedding bands at this conference GIF 16 520 30K del 232K
boe @bigsquishyfrog 16h ... Lmaooo living by the sword is so dope. I hope this lifestyle doesn't have any consequences for me later on 36 3K 26K 327K
sophia @pastoralcomical 15h ... my friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes which is exactly what i assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed 19 1K 34K del 273K
@owenbroadcast. 19h O ... owen cyclops three year old spontaneously telling me that when he was a baby in his mom's stomach he could see his dog through the windows. 77 591 22K 374K
veet @vveetto .22h ... how it feels networking with someone who has the career you want 224 27K 373K del 3.9M
@DEFILEDSOUL 15h S Vampera ... a teenage boy left me this tip today TVR 8080008000 06011203A08000 6800 Z3 unt USD $26.40 Tip 6.7 33.1 Total SIGNATURE *** MERCHANT COPY *** 326 72 28K 631K
John with a Blog @MercuryFalcon Oct 29 S ... This makes it look like Miyazaki killed him Catsuka @catsuka Oct 29 DITSUM Isao Takahata should have turned 90 today. 775 27 9.2K del 146K
s ... KKB News & Updates @KKBnation 16h I actually feel her Donjulio 4,865 13 255 ramonasinger Channeling Marilyn Monroe for Halloween party actually feel her 28 298 7.9K 98K
Zaech @juicyjbarz Oct 29 ... An ex-plug of mine just had a baby and they named him Graham. I'm in tears 55 2.1K 60K 914K
corvid friend @ahabstanaccount- Oct28 ... why did they do that Bloomberg 2m ago Chinese scientists have created monkeys В with schizophrenia and autism, research shunned elsewhere on ethical concerns 61 606 8.2K 136K
O ... Darnay Tripp @DarnayTripp . 20h Can I get it for $2/year the next 10 years, then $10/year over the following 13 years? Arash Markazi @ArashMarkazi.20h The Tomahawk steak sold at Dodger Stadium is $150. Dod strock e ПОД 166 862 29K 1.8M
Sage @belikesagee Oct 29 ... don't understand why electricians aren't called power rangers but okay 72 2.7K 12K 135K
S ... your cousin Vinny @muddaub Oct 27 excuse me Vegetarian BAN MAKES BURGERS & HOT DOGS EVEN BETTER! TOMATO SAUCE WITH BROWN SUGAR & SPICES SERVING SUGGESTION 5 S&W DOGS BAKED BEANS NET WT. 28 OZ MAKES ETTER! (1 LB 12 OZ) 794 & HOT BURGERS BETTER DOGS DEC EVEN BTK SERVING SUGGESTION NET WT. 2002 (1LB IN laup 1 of skillet dicken 9 CO chicken is co 15 Bring - VIS minutes cream SINCE 1908 BUSH'S ROLL THAT BEAUTIFUL 0 to BEST BEAN FOOTAGE 2273 3 BEVI 940001635 10/13/25 55 661 13K del 229K
Mark @AgingRanchHand. Oct 29 ... Uber sends notifications like hey want to take an Uber right now? No thanks, buddy. It's more for when I need to go somewhere 123 6.5K 174K del 3.1M
S ... shiv @ripleyesque Oct 28 the fact that her bf is a dude who messaged her on social media after watching industry is my punishment for not starting that show when it came out hot girl de pointe du lac @pinkstape Oct 28 pretty girlllllllll STAGE 4 18 447 367K 11K
Ernest Strawfield @FKAGEORGEY . Oct 27 ... ants be like boys we drinking bug light tonight 12 565 5.5K 67K
s ... brain dump @name_redacted_ Oct 26 knew a girl who would post like this and she was $70k in credit card debit @dreeamberry Oct 23 dark feminine My personality: 340 7.1K 218K del 5.5M
MarLife G ... @MarLife_ Oct 26 I bought 2 sandwiches this morning. One for earlier and one for tonight and I seems like someone ate both of them without me looking WANTED MANIAC GIF 22 427 64K 7.1K
Michael @yosoymichael Oct 26 ... This is the kind of greed they talk about it in the Bible. Jack @Jackcoplen Oct 26 FWB's husband is out of town, so he and his boyfriend invited me to go clubbing all weekend in Chicago GIF 13 434 15K 556K

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