36 Jokes Dads Love

‘What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?’
36 Jokes Dads Love

At some point in your life, it’s necessary to embrace cringe. You don’t have to start by wearing matching sweaters in a picture with your cat, but ideally, you will end up there, happy and free. A good way to dip your toes into the waters is by choosing one dad joke to run into the ground. You won’t be immediately ready for advanced ones like putting the car in reverse and wistfully saying, “Ahh, this takes me back,” but you can get started with “6:30 is my favorite time of day, hands down.” 

If someone stares at you blankly and then winces, you’re doing a great job. 

To that end, Redditors have shared the most cringeworthy jokes their dads love, including quite a few you can tell while driving, as is tradition.

pwningprincess E 5y ago . Dad: Are you feeling cold? Sit in the corner, it is 90 degrees 3.3K ...
Fo_eyed_dog 5y ago You know why you never see an elephant hiding in a tree? Because they're very good at it. + 6.4K ...
 . 5y ago . Edited 5y ago What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
PlushArtist e 5y ago o I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised 2.4K ...
IWillCube E 5y ago What's green, furry, has 4 legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree onto you? A pool table + 2.6K ...
MoonBasic 5y ago . You know Orion's Belt? Big waist of space, huh? Didn't like that joke? That's okay...it's only got 3 stars + 3.3K ...
Hkatsupreme . 5y ago Dad putting car in reverse Dad: Ahh, this takes me back + 37K ...
Captain-Yesh . 5y ago Would you like the milk in the bag? Dad: No thanks, you can keep it in the carton. + 15K ...
Achiles_Heals . 5y ago . Edited 5y ago e If a child doesn't want to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest? Asked by one of the guys at a volunteer event to a Sheriff.
ticklemypickle19 e 5y ago Anyone can get buried when they die, if you want to be cremated you have to urn it. 5K ...
roman12325 5y ago Dad at breakfast: I'll have bacon and eggs, please Waiter: How do you like your eggs? Dad: I don't know, I haven't gotten them yet! + 15K ...
DepthyxTruths 0 2y ago i love telling dad jokes they always make him laugh 308 ...
Chewiesbro 2y ago Knock Knock Who's there? Car go. Car go who? Nah mate, Owl go who, Car go Beep Beep + 458 ...
tursillo2011 . 2y ago e What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh + 351 ...
UnionMysterious8381 g 2y ago My favorite is you guys wanna hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind..... it's too cheesy + 690 ...
 e 5y ago The only joke my dad ever uses: I took up origami for a while, but I gave it up because it was too much paperwork. 3.6K ...
moonpie57 . 5y ago What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name 771 ...
Moogs9 . 5y ago . Edited 5y ago e Why shouldn't you wear glasses when you play football? Because it's a contact sport.
Zakish79 2y ago . Edited 2y ago Anytime we're driving and I see a bunch of cows I always say: Look a flock of cows! One of the kids: herd of cows dad Me: course I've heard of them, there's a flock of them right over there! + 4.1K ...
DopeCharma 0 2y ago . Edited 2y ago How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds. + 535 ...
Prestigious_Pringle 5y ago Dad: Someone among us is an owl. Me: Who? Dad: *Narrows eyes suspiciously* + 1.9K ...
ForElise47 6y ago . If it takes 3 men to dig 3 hole in 3 days. How many days does it take 3 men to dig half a hole? There is no answer, because any hole is a hole. I can't count how many times he has told this joke. + 7.6K ...
yeahtrashh 6y ago Me: Dad, I just stubbed my toe on the coffee table. Dad: Don't do that. It hurts. Me: - 9K ... Zarron4 6y ago Or Why did you do that? 1.9K ...
Sonny_Boy_Slim . 5y ago e APVERLIA 6:30 is my favorite time of day, hands down. 953 ...
dylan522p 6y ago e Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut. + 10K ...
rcioffe 6y ago e Hope it works, we just found it in the parking lot. When paying with a credit card at just about everywhere. + 22K ...
MaxwellsBronzeHammer 6y ago e Dad, where is ? It was delicious + 20K ...
teke367 6y ago Dad, can you make me breakfast? Abracadabra, you're breakfast! We're all grown and out of the house with kids of our own, I think my father's favorite thing about being a grandfather is being able to reuse these jokes. + 17K ...
sleepyeyes_24_7 . 6y ago Whenever my dad and my husband are having a conversation, and I walk into the room, my dad will loudly say Just make sure she never finds out... Then he will look at me and say ОН HI HONEY! + 12K ...
caelazer88 6y ago e Every time I ask him where one of my brothers is he responds oh shit! I forgot him and won't tell me where they actually are. Every. Single. Time. + 12K ...
huckleberryjam1972 6y ago Every Cemetery we passed..... Oh man, people are just dying to get in there......Yep heard that all the damn time as a kid. Не would then follow up with the did you know that people who live in this town cant be buried in there......yeah they don't bury live people + 2.1K ...
guy_pieri . 6y ago e Anyone: I have a question. My dad, always: Does it involve a woodchuck? + 1.1K ...
ratchmond 6y ago E The scene in Wedding Crashers where Will Ferrell is yelling at his mom to bring them meatloaf. When my mom is cooking, he'll sit in the living room and yell MAAA! THE MEATLOAAAF! between laughs. Не often works himself up to tears because he's laughing so hard at himself. + 1.3K ...
el-aficionado 6y ago e Is that felt? *touches fabric* Now it is! + 28K ...
loganm513 . 6y ago . Edited 5y ago E You're my favorite son. I'm his only son.
WhatAboutMason 5y ago Someone broke in last night and stole all my anti- depressants. I hope they're happy. 1.1K ...

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