32 of the Funniest Reasons People Received a Lifetime Ban
![32 of the Funniest Reasons People Received a Lifetime Ban](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/3/8/1110938_320x180.jpg)
People who have been banned from public establishments are modern-day martyrs who have risked it all to test the limits. For example, we now know that under no circumstances should we take bouncy balls to the fourth floor of the Mall of America and drop them to “see how high they bounce.” That kind of behavior isn’t tolerated there.
It’s also good to know that we can’t go to Six Flags, get on a roller coaster and put a bunch of coins on our legs to watch the money float while we’re up in the air. The employees, along with the innocent bystanders who might get pelted with spare change, don’t like that very much.
Redditors have revealed the other funny reasons they or someone they know got 86’d from a place, and the Tinder ban was totally worth it.
![pavementjive 10y ago I'm banned from Canada.. Apparently transporting your friend in the trunk of your vehicle while crossing borders is a big no no. Luckily they dropped the human trafficking charges, and I was only left with a (rather large) fine. 3.8K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/7/3/1110973.jpg)
![Djizz 10y ago I am unfortunately banned from owning Buffalo Bills season tickets after a minor incident involving me allegedly throwing a gameday program at a miami dolphins fan's face 4 rows down. It was said to be the most accurate throw seen at Ralph Wilson Stadium that year. 3.3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/7/2/1110972.jpg)
![5724277 10y ago I'm banned from the Sims online. I would befriend people with large and expensive properties - eventually they would give me 'roommate' permissions. I'd wait until they logged off, I'd then sell all their items, delete all the structures, fill the lot with water, build a bridge to a center island filled with llama shaped bushes, and post signs saying, 'Welcome to llama land!' all over the property. I don't know how many times I did this before I was permanently banned from the game. I have no regrets. 3.5K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/7/1/1110971.jpg)
![StickleyMan 10y ago I'm banned for life from the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas for loudly and sincerely threatening to take a dump on a dealer's head. 2.3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/7/0/1110970.jpg)
![Vysra 10y ago e Edited 10y ago I got banned from a small travel-lodge hotel, it was my birthday and I hadn't slept all night, my friends went into their own rooms around 6:30 and I stayed up playing the PS3 we took with us. The maid came in and screamed at the top of her lungs in terror, I was completely nude, with Dishonored on pause and I was wearing a gas mask bong. Needless to say I was kicked out pretty quickly.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/9/1110969.jpg)
![90s_Dad_Dick . 10y ago i i got banned from a local bank branch for taking the bowl of lollipops. I went back a few weeks later to get some more lollipops and they remembered. 475 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/8/1110968.jpg)
![ShevyPri . 10y ago Not me, but my mom got banned from Olive Garden for throwing her cousin in the pond out front and falling in after her. Now that I think about it, my family wasn't very normal. 509 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/7/1110967.jpg)
![OscarKokoshka 10y ago . Edited 10y ago Waffle House...I refused to pay when I was drunk by continuely eating the paper bill they gave me. 3.3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/3/1110963.jpg)
![10y ago One of the local strip clubs in my town. My good friend started stripping and that was her main gig. I told her I was going to come see the show and so she put my picture up behind the front desk and instructed the bouncers to never let me in. She was also my high school girlfriend so I'd seen her naked plenty already. She was just super embarrassed of anyone coming to see her secret second life. I just think it's funny that I'm banned from a strip club I've never been to. 1.3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/5/1110965.jpg)
![Todesengal o 10y ago e Edited 10y ago I am banned from the Publix bakery in my city because for my Asian friend's birthday, I ordered a cake with a picture of Mao Zedong that read Most Honorable and Beloved Chairman Wishes Comrade Friend a Glorious Birthday. The weird thing is, they made the cake. They gave it to me, and told me I was never allowed at the bakery again.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/2/1110962.jpg)
![Dawnsteel 10y ago A friend of mine is banned from the Times Union Center (it was the Pepsi Arena at the time) in Albany, New York. Не and his group got really drunk at a River Rats game, climbed over the divider between periods and hijacked the Zamboni. 299 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/6/1110966.jpg)
![Santosdsr 2y ago Because I cancelled my reservation, I was barred from attending Late Night with David Letterman for the rest of my life. I suppose it was difficult to recruit individuals to fill the crowd in New York City? You should know that if you cancel, you will never be permitted back, the intern (I presume) warned me. Ever! I was able to overcome it in some way. 98 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/0/1110960.jpg)
![10y ago Walgreens. I went to pick up a script for a something that is DEA regulated and this woman just didn't like me. She told me I looked shady and refused to fill my script and told me I was banned from all Walgreens.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/9/1110959.jpg)
![satsumaa 10y ago I have a lifetime ban from the Hobby Lobby in my town. I got into a huge fight with the fabric lady. The store advertised 50% off seasonal fabric. So I bought this cute pumpkin pattern that was in the bin. As I went to check out, she informed me ever so rudely that Halloween wasn't seasonal, it was a holiday. This turns into a yelling match about why it was in the seasonal 50% off bin then...which accumulated into me being banned. Because they cant handle my realness. 3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/1/1110961.jpg)
![rwqsafasaxc1 2y ago Comic Con It wasn't even my fault it was my friends I went as Eren and he went as Levi and any time he saw some guy going as Kenny he would scream KENNY! then chase them down... After 10 times he got us both banned Fuck you, Jackson. Fuck you. 133 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/6/4/1110964.jpg)
![BecauseTheyDeservelt 10y ago A local bar for drunkenly putting all of my tip money into the juke box and playing the cantina band song hundreds of times 3.2K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/7/1110957.jpg)
![WimpySpace 0 2y ago some subreddits will automatically ban you if you comment or post on r/mensrights so my morbid curiosity brought me to put a test comment in, and, sure enough, i got banned from a lotta subreddits. 236 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/5/1110955.jpg)
![warboy3 2y ago Local golf course. My dad and his brothers, in their early 20s, decided to play bumper cars with the golf carts. Got banned. My dad and I have the same name 40 years later, I was there with some friends, soon as they heard my name I got thrown out. Told they'd call the cops if I ever came back. Specifically cited the bumper carts incident as why. An event that happened 20 years before i was born 919 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/6/1110956.jpg)
![whatisthisyear 2y ago One of my friends got banned from a McDonald's because he had just come back from a bar and was absolutely shitfaced, he proceeded to order 40 nuggets and then just started pegging them at people. 850 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/8/1110958.jpg)
![Equivalent_Draw_5214 e 2y ago Tinder, I made an account called BabeLincoln and it was Abe Lincoln photoshopped on a bunch of models with the emancipation proclamation as my bio. 1.8K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/3/1110953.jpg)
![ThinklGotHacked 2y ago Six flags when I was 14. My friends and I heard that if you put a quarter on your knee on the zero-g drop tower, it would float like you were in outer space. So we all just coated our legs in spare change. Way too many coins. For a magical moment, hundreds of feet above ground in free-fall, they did float right in front of our faces... then they flew off in all different directions landing on innocent bystanders. No one was hurt, but a lot of people were quite angry.... Got our pictures taken, taped](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/1/1110951.jpg)
![Population-Tire 10y ago I have a friend who was banned from a local grocery store for stealing. This was in a small town and it was the only grocery store for miles. The next day, he got a call from his identical twin brother asking why he was just thrown out of a super market. 1.6K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/4/9/1110949.jpg)
![Garrilland . 10y ago Got banned from Club Penguin for calling someone a penis after losing a sled race 777 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/4/1110954.jpg)
![AndeeDrufense 10y ago I am banned from the local Burger King. In 8th grade I, along with another kid, changed the reader board to say $3/2 fish dicks or something along those lines. Needless to say they weren't impressed. The other kid got caught and ratted me out as the sole performer, leading to me being banned but not him. I went back a week later and enjoyed a chicken tendercrisp sandwich. 862 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/0/1110950.jpg)
![jplevene 10y ago I've got a life time ban from eBay because I took them to court for overcharging and taking money from me. Apparently having the audacity to hold them to task for wrongdoings gets you a lifetime ban. Still going through the courts in the UK. 1.2K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/5/2/1110952.jpg)
![Playingpokerwithgod 2y ago My friend got banned from a pizza place because he tried to throw a bottle of water to me and it missed and hit a kid square in the forehead. Turns out the kid was the owners son. 1.2K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/4/5/1110945.jpg)
![Hunting_Gnomes 10y ago I am banned for life from the Mall of America for throwing bouncy balls off of the 4th floor. I wasn't trying to hit anyone, I just wanted to see how high they would bounce. I go to the mall every couple months like a bad ass. I've never been caught. 2.5K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/4/3/1110943.jpg)
![Rickrickrickrickrick 10y ago Sears. I stole candy when I was 11 and the head of security was an asshole. In my defense I weighed a piece of candy on the scale and it said $0.00 on it. I just kept weighing the pieces one by one. I like to think I was more of a genius than a thief. 3.6K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/4/8/1110948.jpg)
![CA1900 10y ago Embassy Suites - - not me, but my brother. Не was a young kid who had just moved to California and was trying to make ends meet. Не discovered the free breakfast and free cocktails at the Embassy Suites near his apartment. Those are intended for guests, of course, but if you look like you belong in a place, people don't usually ask questions. Не got away with it for SIX MONTHS before they caught him. I was very impressed. + 972 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/4/6/1110946.jpg)
![nilok1 10y ago Placed an order for a pizza from a local pizza place. Found out they wouldn't deliver b/c the tenant who lived in my apartment before I did bounced a check. I explained that that person had moved out. They told me the ban was on the unit number not an individual. I called back and placed the exact same order but had it delivered to neighbor across the hall. Became the standard way of ordering from that pizza place. 521 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/4/4/1110944.jpg)
![N°° Evman2011 . 10y ago . Edited 10y ago I can no longer drive in Virginia because I never paid a speeding ticket, since I was just driving through it to get to New York. 1.2K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/4/7/1110947.jpg)
![PewterCityGymLdr 10y ago A local Hollister nearby. My buddies and I went in with flashlights and would yell for each other over for extra light to see the prices. If you've never been there, it's really tinted and relatively dark to seem cool. That was years ago though, so I doubt they still remember. 2.2K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/4/2/1110942.jpg)