20 Funny Times People Stretched the Truth Just to Impress Someone

‘I have three souls’
20 Funny Times People Stretched the Truth Just to Impress Someone

If you’re going to take up lying, at least care enough about your craft to make up worthwhile tales. *shakes fist at cloud* No one takes pride in their work anymore! One Redditor, for example, reminisced about a woman who said she had a higher IQ than Stephen Hawking, only to follow up that bold claim by announcing that she “didn’t know that trains have wheels.” 

Unfortunately, people who tell bold lies like that never leave it at just one. In addition to being smarter than Stephen Hawking, this woman claimed that she almost played Hermoine Granger, and developed a hatred for Emma Watson for beating her out for the role. Sure! 

Meanwhile, other Redditors have recalled the tall tales they’ve been told by people who were dying to impress them, and we have questions for the guy who says he has three souls.

Mmath_. 2y Someone in my second grade class who claimed that they were ten years older than every other student, I believed this at the time and were really scared of them for the entire year. ... 36
dmellick . . 9y My doctor gives me pills so that I have no gag reflex. Yeah I got the hint, but wtf? ... 17
mishpaa . 9y This guy in my grade 9 class made up this whole story about how his dad was in the army and saved a young boy from a German soldier in WW1. this was 2007, dude, how old is your freaking dad? ... 53
loudlaugh . 9y Back in high school (mid 2000's) a guy tried to hit on me by saying his band opened up for Panic! at the Disco when he lived in Texas. ... the most embarrassing thing isthat it worked.
brad-the-impaler. 9y I can suck my own dick though that was something I said to try and impress a girl...thinking she will think I have a massive cock...never contemplating that she would actually think that I'm some fucking weirdo that puts his own filthy penis in his mouth. ... 63
9y I tell people i was shot in Afghanistan so they will buy me drinks hahah this was from a Marine who will medically discharge and never deployed ... 278
SlightlyStable . . 9y Some guy in a bar was bragging about all the girls he hooks up with. Не starts pulling up pics of girls on his phone to show me. The second pic he shows me is Tiffani Amber Thiessen. When I said Oh, you know Tiffani Amber Thiessen? he replied Who's that? ... 258
Reverse_Waterfall . 9y They told me they have 3 souls, one of which is a reincarnated Lumerian (it's a knock off Atlantis that even people who believe in Atlantis mock), and this allowed them to meditate and learn the secrets of the universe. Apparently the universe didn't tell him how to not get fired from his pizza delivery job. ... 211
jollyrancherwraper • 9 9y I had a guy tell me that as a kid, he went surfing during Hurricane Andrew. Не said the news did a story on him and everything. Не was 24, when he told me this in 2012, so he would've been 4 when that happened. ... 110
PurePerfection_ 9y When I was living in NYC, I met a guy at a bar who looked about my age (23). Не told me he was a VP at Fakename Investment Bank. Immediate alarm bells, since he was way too young... and also because I was an analyst in the same group he claimed to work in. I asked him his last name, which people he worked with, etc. Не cracks and tells me he's an intern. Actually, that he's GOING to be an intern there, next summer. I laugh it off and ask him which school he's from, and
Sea_sharp . 9y Не told me he worked for the Nigerian government, was descended from royalty, had a wife in Nigeria and a girlfriend in the states, and that his penis was the width of a soda can. Also kept telling me how much he'd like for me to bear his children. (he kept forgetting that I'd told him repeatedly that I never wanted to have my own children) All this in an attempt to get me to touch his penis in the back of a crowded airplane. I can only imagine how hard the people directly in front of
AnonismsPlight . 1 2y A woman at LEAST in her mid to late 50s always told everyone for years that she was nervous about turning 40. She had a son in his late 20s and still tried to tell everyone she was only late 30s. She got arrested a few years ago for voter fraud and the paper put her real age(57) in the paper and that's what she kept trying to contest. Not the voter fraud but her age in the paper... ... 249
ProjectShadow316 2y A friend of mine in high school told me out of the blue one day that the parents of some girl he was dating were literally paying him to marry his daughter. Cash, jewelry, Atlanta Braves jerseys. Of course, I called bullshit as not only had I never met her before, but he had never mentioned her until this day. A week later, the wedding was off because he supposedly found some dude shirtless talking to her on the couch at her place. ... 149
Doom4104 2y My cousin tells me about his fight stories from school. They all sound like something out of Grand Theft Auto. Не grew up playing those games too lol. Не told me about his fight in Elementary school where him, and his buddy supposedly got ambushed on top of the gym bleachers that were folded in where no one could sit there except if they climbed to the top of them. Не said him, and his buddy threw the gang of bullies off the top of the bleachers, and onto the gym floor. Не also said he got tortured
TryNotToBridezilla 2y I hate Emma Watson because I was second in line to play Hermione Granger from a woman who is at least 3 years too old for the role. I have an IQ higher than Stephen Hawking before promptly announcing that she thought trains didn't have wheels. Also any illness you've had, she's had but worse. Anywhere you've worked, she used to work. Anything you've done, she's done. Anywhere you've been, she's been... ... 65
Jazzlike_Gain_144 . 2y When I went snowboarding at big bear Me and this dude would always wind up taking the lift together and our second lift together I asked him what he does for a living and he said I'm an accountant but later started talking about his job at a grocery store ... 272
Downside190 . 9y My friend at the time claimed the grazes he got all over his arms and face were from getting into a fight and someone dragged his face against a wall. Turned out he just fell off his bicycle. ... 26
Tytillean . 9y My body has so many mutations, that I'm not considered human anymore. I am starting to grow scales and my body temperature is 93 degrees. ... 43
TheVoicesinurhed . 2y 97 I had a friend who claimed him, and his 500 pound mother beat up workers at Taco Bell. All because they put sour cream on his tacos. Не then tried to claim that he went around the counter, and made his own food. This guy.... ... 71
Bamboo_Steamer . 9y When I said I was going to Japan for a holiday my mate told me he had been there already: Yeah I went to Tokyo with my sensei and he took me to this secret dojo. At first they were like 'he can't come in' and my sensei was all like 'here's how it is, he's with me and he's my best pupil' and they were like 'oh ok then' and let me in. Then I learned all these secret ninjitsu moves they only teach Japanese people I just listened and didn't say anything. I was in shock

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