35 Funny Things Professors Read About Themselves on RateMyProfessors

‘Looks like a Calvin Klein model and teaches like one, too’
35 Funny Things Professors Read About Themselves on RateMyProfessors

College professors can be particularly brutal, but since the dawn of RateMyProfessors.comstudents have been able to fight back against that brutality. Sure, they may still flunk the class, but not before airing their grievances on the site originally intended for a serious critique of educators. As a professor, you have to wonder what you did to a student who writes, “I hope you get the bird flu and die. However, before you die, you understand that you gave it to your wife and family and they all die. And then you die with the knowledge that you killed them.” 

Whew. That’s a tirade usually reserved for movie villains. Certainly, the professor needed to be wary of his surroundings afterward, not open any suspicious packages and maybe even learn self-defense. Which might be why he was able to live to tell about it, as well as submit his rating to a Reddit thread, noting that it “always stuck out to him.” Yeah I bet, dude. 

To that end, Reddit’s finest educators have rounded up the grades they’ve been given on RateMyProfessor, and there’s a particularly poignant one about Russian roulette that you’ll want to use as your own.

beloski . 8y My dad is a philosophy professor. Someone complained that he answers questions with questions and thinks too much. Isn't that kind of the point of philosophy? ... 30
srappe 8y My Calc 3 professor told us on the last day about some of the stuff he has read about himself. The one I remember him talking about most was: Не is very oddly shaped and flails his arms about to try and depict 3D shapes His response was: Even though I do flail my arms, I believe I am not oddly shaped. Just look at me...this is 100% math bod right here. ... 4.4k
billnaisciguy 8y My father is a professor, one time my brother and I were reading though his ratemyprofessor score together and one of the students called him A BEAST. We now call him that all the time because it's hilarious. In general, though, my father apparently isn't an easy A, simply because you have to attend his lectures to pass, apparently his midterm was so hard one girl cried. Не really prefers working with grad students so he can connect more with them.
 . 8y I am not personally a professor, but one of my favorites that I have read was from a student who claimed that the professor delivers eloquent speeches with the verbosity of Shakespeare and the politics of Dwight Schrute. ... 80
BrainBurrito 8y Nipples. My boyfriend is an instructor and I just looked up his profile. Besides a bunch of normal - - mostly very positive - comments, someone randomly commented on the visibility of his nipples. (I didn't want to quote it because his profile could be searched that way) I assume they were referring to the idea of seeing bumps/indications of a person's nipples under their shirt. I haven't noticed anything unusual about my boyfriend's nipples but I guess they think he has particularly erect nipples. I found it hilarious and enjoyed mentioning it to him. ... 106
tombombadillo89 . . 7y My brother is a college professor and a bit of a goof. Не was reading his reviews on ratemyprofessor.com out loud to me at Thanksgiving or something and found one along the lines of: Hot. Mumbles a lot. Makes stupid faces and fart noises too much. ... 77
profzoff . 3y There have been some fun ones, however this one from back in early 2000s always stuck out to me: I hope you get the bird flu and die. However, before you die, you understand that you gave it to your wife and family and they all die. And then you die with the knowledge that you killed them. ... 912
HeloisePommefume . 7y One student claimed I bragged to a class that I was a wanted felon. I have no idea what the fuck this was about. ... 7.4k
stuchapin . . 7y Mr. X is a beautiful and intelligent human being who inspires all those around him to achieve greatness. There is nothing that compares to the opportunity one has to bask in his magnificent glory. That being said the sudden changes in facial hair can be somewhat unsettling. ... 408
 . Зу The funniest review was from an organ performance major. Не said that I was the only instructor who could effectively teach organ technique and the performance of literature in the studio while simultaneously correcting a wrong note he heard coming from a piano major across the hall in a practice room! ... 555
nermid 8y I had a professor who came in the first day and, during the bit where he introduces himself, he pulled up his RateMyProfessor scores and read us a few, positive and negative. Не then complained that his hotness score was only in the low 60s, and asked us to honestly rate him on everything else, but to please say he was 100% hot. It worked. Last I checked, his hotness was rated at 95%. Most of his other scores are pretty high, too, because he's hilarious in class. ... 65
NoConditioning . 8y During my first year of teaching my friends wanted to check how I was doing. Turns out I can't be rated because my last name is Wang and the website don't allow 'rude' words :( ... 572
Nikcara . 7y Former ТА, but one of my students who reviewed me write that I was like a cross between Rachel Maddow and Justin Timberlake. I was also friends with a professor who got a review in Japanese. It translated to wow you are delicious. We weren't sure if they were flirting or trying to show off that they actually had learned something (the professor taught Japanese, this was from one of his 101 classes). ... 3k
b8le 7y ТА in Calc. Pretty much broke down to 3 different types - good reviews, bad because the class was 'too hard' or them complaining about my handwriting. Did have one memorable one something like this: 'Does a great job teaching, I am not a math major and did well enough in his class. BUT he takes off his wedding ring before class, I'm sure in hopes that he can pick up students. I saw the tanline on his finger.' Not married, never have been, and have never worn a ring of any kind. ... 8.6k
pmay -7 7y My dad is a professor and is very proud of his ratemyprofessor reviews, his personal favorite that he brags about regularly includes the phrase sometimes I feel like biting him ... 949
mmedimanche . . 7y One semester I helped an ancient professor with some of her research. She was one of the most disorganized people I've ever met. One of her reviews nails it: I am pretty sure that she was unaware that she is a professor. For that matter, I think she was unaware that she lives in the state of Wisconsin. ... 734
schnit123 . 7y College professor here. When I was in grad school my friends and I used to troll each other all the time on ratemyprof. A friend of mine wrote one about how I live on a private island with my flock of pet monkeys and have stripper poles in my kitchen. I wrote one for another friend giving an insider tip that if you asked him about his pet lobster he'd give you extra credit. ... 3.5k
lydiavmars 8y The best way to learn bio is when the prof is as hot as her. Thank you for all the fap sessions. I no longer read my reviews. ... 24
tke1078 . 7y Been teaching for 3 years now, had some decent ones but my best was Your sarcasm can sometimes make you seem like an asshole....but that's okay, we were assholes first. ... 1.8k
storiesfrom17th . 8y My dad is a Prof at a major University. His favorite one: Prof talks too much about his dog. Не also told me I'm not fit for business management and should look into beekeeping instead. ... 129
Metallic52 . 7y A colleague of mine, currently one of the best dancers in the country, had a student from a beginning class write, For a national champion he sure doesn't dance like one. ... 864
shiguywhy .7 7y One of my professors had several reviews and probably 70% of them were he's really hot for a 75 year old man. ...they were not totally incorrect.
yourhairisonlyfornow . 7 7y My boyfriend had a review that complained about his obsession with the Romans. Не teaches Classics. ... 767
MisterVertigo7 . 7y I just looked up my best friend who is a college professor. One review included this: He's pretty attractive if you are attracted to beards and Banana Republic. I read that and just about lost it! Не has a Chili pepper too, so I guess students think he's pretty hot.
jusjerm . 8y I am easily sucked into tangents, am very transparent about who I like/hate, am hilarious, and will steal and eat any food that a student has brought to class. Definitely agree with those charges. The only food that survived in my presence were Hot Cheetos. That shit is gross. ... 466
 . 8y Not a professor, but I have an uncle who's a professor of Business. I showed him his reviews, and he thought they were hilarious. One of the reviews called him a pint-sized lump of sarcasm. ... 2.8k
kittyislazy . . 8y I just looked up my prof brother. Someone said they could bounce a quarter off his ass. ... 5k
lenaeca . 8y You get really nervous, but you shouldn't be, because you teach statistics and no one really cares about statistics. This was after my first semester as a Graduate teaching assistant. ... 5.5k
Kirioko . 8y One of my professors has an evaluation that reads: knowledgeable great funny. drinks two bottles of snapple per class. thirst is his only weakness ... It's true. ... 2k
shedontknowjack . 7 7y One of my O-chem profs had Looks like a Calvin Klein model and teaches like one too. ... 2.4k
zeezrum . 7y There was a particularly difficult class and the teacher got this review: Taking a class from him is like playing Russian roulette with five bullets loaded. After taking the class, I would have to agree. ... 410
ProfessorTofi . 8y Best professor, lets me skip every other class. I have no knowledge of this... i have no idea who it is. ...it sounds like something I would do though. ... 4.8k
AKUtahrd . 7y One of my professors in air traffic control school was especially strict and ran the simulator for the air traffic control tower. A student wrote in a review, sometimes when he is running the simulator, I wonder who is running hell. ... 15.8k
stormbornFTW . 8y She came into class half waisted. Not only is that not true but I was teaching a composition class. Waisted. Shudder. ... 2.9k
namer98 . 7y From a friend who was a PhD at the physics department, whose wife teaches math, on his review materials. You are ok, but your wife is hot ... 9k


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