Who Said It — Stephen Hawking or Steven Seagal?
One man, the brains. The other, the brawn and brains. Such is the duality of two great Steves: Hawking and Seagal. Both, arguably, experts on the metaphysical. Picking them apart in real life is fairly easy, for a number of reasons. But when you have to do it simply by their quotes? That might be a little bit harder. Almost definitely harder, in fact. So test your luck, if you dare! And share your score in the comments!
“As a lifelong practitioner of martial arts, I’m trained to remain calm in the face of adversity and danger”
We’ll start with some easy ones! Yes, this is Steven Seagal.
“I was born with a serious spiritual consciousness and for many years studied different paths”
Thinking I was going to alternate between them? You’re undone! This is, again, Steven Seagal.
“I think we’re living in a world where society is very difficult”
Okay, you might be thinking, bit is done, he’ll have to use a Hawking quote so he can actually get this thing started. Wrong, dummy! More Seagal!
“I have visited Japan several times and have always been shown wonderful hospitality”
“Oh, I get it. It’s a comedy site. The bit is going to be that they’re all Steven Seagal.” You wish! This is Stephen Hawking.
“What does it take to change the essence of a man?”
Back to Seagal! This time, from the movie On Deadly Ground.
“We are all different. There is no such thing as a standard or run-of-the-mill human being, but we share the same human spirit”
This one’s Stephen Hawking, but with just enough spiritual mumbo-jumbo to make it Seagal-esque.
“I regard the afterlife to be a fairy story for people that are afraid of the dark”
This strange, dark aggression is straight from the mind of Stephen Hawking.
“Most of us have unhealthy thoughts and emotions that have either developed as a result of trauma or hardships in their childhood, or the way they were raised”
A weirdly introspective moment from Steven Seagal!
“I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road”
A quote from Stephen Hawking that could easily be a threat with the right cadence and eyebrow shape!
“The most important seed I can sow in this life is my children, and the love and knowledge that I can bestow upon them and the help I can give them”
You’d think it was Stephen Hawking, because that guy was bananas about his kids! Weirdly, it's Steven Seagal, who until this moment I would have bet a serious portion of my rent money had no children!
“My philosophy is that the most important aspect of any religion should be human kindness. And to try to ease the suffering of others. To try to bring light and love into the lives of mankind”
Seagal again? I didn’t even think he knew half these words!
“My ideal role would be a baddie in a James Bond film”
This one's Stephen Hawking! Did I remove the second part of the quote, “I think the wheelchair and the computer voice would fit the part,” to make it harder? Yep! The baddie part should have tipped you off, because Stephen Hawking is British, which is annoying.
“After the military, I floundered around between jobs for a while, and there was an opportunity for me to go live in Japan. I was living on the Okinawa Airport Base, off the grid, no real address”
So close! This is experimental hip-hop artist JPEGMAFIA.
“I’m gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent — the blood bank”
No one’s sure who said this! It’s just a quote from history.
How’d you do?