32 Embarrassingly Dumb Injuries People Have Sustained

‘I punched myself in the face while trying to crank a weed eater’
32 Embarrassingly Dumb Injuries People Have Sustained

It’s easy to forget just how fragile the mixture of meat and bone our mind operates as a body truly is. I’d argue it’s borderline necessary that our brain block out constant knowledge of just how destructible we are by any number of things around us. Otherwise, our heart rate would double just getting out of bed.

You can’t ignore it, of course, when you accidentally participate in a demonstration. Sometimes, this is part of a horrible, dramatic accident. Other times, it’s twice the reminder of how easy it is to hurt yourself, when you manage it without barely any action at all. 

Situations like that are the subject of an AskReddit thread looking for the dumbest ways people have ever injured themselves, and Redditors provided in spades.

Literary-Anarchist . 7d ago Tore my rotator cuff when I was putting fresh sheets and blankets on my bed
thePHTucker . 7d ago I sneezed while getting out of bed and pulled a muscle in my back that took weeks to heal.
I stepped on a small pebble walking the dog and turned my ankle so badly that it took a week before I could walk properly.
2EscapedCapybaras 7d ago When I was 16, I was repositioning the hinges on my basement window so I could get out in an emergency. I was standing on a rickety chair, lost my balance and stepped down right on top of an empty gallon sized pickle jar which shattered instantly. After a trip to the hospital and 15 stitches to the bottom of my foot later, I still had to finish the job on the hinges.
Lee now 7d ago | was playing four square. I lost my balance and fell backwards onto my wrist. | broke both bones in my wrist and detached my bones from the growth plates. I needed two surgeries and many months in a cast. They sent me to a sports doctor. The doctor asked me what sport I played, and I had to say four square.
Cuppojoe . 7d ago | was a teen, riding in the bed of a pickup with my siblings and an uncle. When we got back to our house, I yelled, Last one out is a rotten egg! and threw a leg over the tailgate. Well, | guess it wasn't latched properly, so it opened , flipped me upside down, and I dropped head first into the gravel. My uncle said, You win.
CrazyCrack1001 . 7d ago I stabbed myself in the forehead with needle nose pliers pulling a spring, they slipped punched myself in the face and stabbed myself pretty good. I was more pissed that I punched myself than I was in pain
ب haonowshaokao . 7d ago Literally stood on a rake and gave myself a black eye. Five-year old son laughed at me, as did everyone I told about it for the next week when they asked why do you have a black eye? I considered lying but I was clearly spreading so much joy that I decided not to.
IndependenceReady255 . 7d ago Chasing after a coyote on my scooter and trying to record it on my phone.
Both_Taste6552 . 7d ago Dropping something like a phone towards my lap and reflexively trying to catch it, causing me to punch myself in deez nutz.
i-might-do-that 7d ago | rode BMX as a kid so there's plenty. But one time I was riding away from some obstacle in the street, sitting on my seat. I run off the curb while seated and my seat guts broke. The seat pitches back sending me falling on to the back wheel. Because I was moving so fast the rubber of the tire caught my shorts and my boxers and took them down, leaving my bare ass to ride on the tire. It took a moment for the bike to stop but after it did I had a rubber
GDog507 . 7d ago | hit my head on the corner of a trunk that was open at the junkyard I was at and got a pretty nasty scrape on my head. I went to the bathroom to clean it up, then came back to the spot and hit my head on the corner of that same trunk again
Slow_Collection_139 . 7d ago Blended my hand with a hand blender.
UnoriginalUse . 7d ago Slammed a door on my shed closed, causing overpressure to blow out the window and send a shower of glass shards into my arm. Then did it again about a year later.
Tragic_Challenge_343 . 7d ago Putting on my pants. Hear me out, in my defense, I didn't have socks on. My big toe got stuck near the knee part and my hands slipped when I pulled a little hard and punched myself in the face.
7d ago fren2allcheezes | was trying to use a warm compress on my face. I thought the best way to do it was to put the warm cloth over my face and stand under the showerhead. And that's how I waterboarded myself at 14 years old
Semi0tics 0 7d ago I swallowed part of a tortilla chip without chewing it enough and it got lodged sideways and my throat. I drank water but it wasn't getting soft, so I just swallowed really hard and cut open the inside of my esophagus. It then got infected, and I had to go on antibiotics. So stupid.
Routine_Mine_3019 . 7d ago hood of a car and slid off. Riding on the
Infamous_Flan_894 7d ago Woke up in the middle of the night, went to the kitchen to get a drink and slipped on a paper napkin, rammed my foot into the baseboard of the cabinets and shattered a bone in my foot. Ended up having to get a plate and 6 screws. When I went to get my stitches out and cast put on, the doctor said it looked infected and would have to do another surgery that day. Spent about a week in the hospital, and when I left I had a wound vac on my foot and a PICC
Doom_goblin777 . 7d ago I punched myself in the face while trying to crank a weed eater
maccerhmac . 7d ago . Edited 7d ago When I was 8 YO, I tried to light a sparkler at the wrong end, when I realised, I just grabbed the hot end with my bare hand to spin it round.
Franklin_The_Parrot . 7d ago Not my proudest moment but I noticed a wrinkle in my button down shirt after putting it on. I (over)confidently thought | could steam out just the wrinkles without taking the shirt off. It did not go as planned and I ended up with a handheld steamer brand and no fewer wrinkles. My wife does not let me live that down, and I don't blame her.
Thewrongbakedpotato . 7d ago | fell out of a dumpster and cracked my head open on a lamp post.
cellardoormaker . 7d ago I rode my kids hoverboard like six feet and then hit the ground so hard my Apple Watch called 911.
Zestyclose_Sell_3031 a 7d ago | was once (first and last time) using an air rifle (my friend gave me one without a trigger guard) with one of those barrels that folds downward to load the pellet. While I was loading it - rifle over knee, thumb in the process of reloading - I knocked the trigger with my knee, causing the firing pin to take the top clean off my thumb. At first it felt like a pinch, causing me to bring my hand back quickly in reflex. When I looked down the blood was spurting up and out a good couple of inches,
Wonderful_Price2355 . 7d ago Picked up a cast iron pan bare handed that I had just taken out of a 450 degree oven.
MegaTreeSeed 7d ago When i was like 5 years old grandad told me if you can put salt on a squirrels tail, you can catch it What he meant was if you sre fast enough to put salt on a squirrels tail you are fast enough to catch one What I heard was salt has magical squirrel- paralyzing properties, and you can easily capture the frozen squirrel once salted So I nearly broke my arm chasing squirrels with a salt shaker.
liloldguy . 7d ago Using a razor knife to open clamshell packaging. Knife slipped cut a 5 inch gash in my forearm was pumping blood all over me. It was 1 inch deep.
Extreme-Pepper7849 . 7d ago Ran after a stray pickle ball in high school gym class. I tripped over the ball and tore a ligament in my ankle. It was a bad tear so had to wear a walking case for 6 months followed by physical therapy
Federal_Amount_2479 . . 7d ago Was ballroom dancing with a woman at a theme night, told her I'm going to dip you but didn't expect her complete and total surrender to gravity. Obviously couldn't just drop her, so tried to save it by lunging underneath her and snap went my hamstring. Catastrophic tear, terrible recovery (my own fault really), 0/10 wouldn't do again.
lovelyb1ch66 . 7d ago | tuned out while burning 95 crème brûlées for a wedding reception and when a fly landed on my left arm I zapped it with the torch. It made a nice little blister.
Bug_Lady23 . 7d ago Not me, but my sister tore a ligament in her hand picking a wedgie during a volleyball game. She played it off as a volleyball injury.

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