The Dumbest Country Music Songs to Come from the 1970s
Country music went through some changes in the 1970s, with different subgenres coexisting in the same time and place for everyone's listening pleasure. With no rules, anyone could write about anything, and some country artists took that to heart by creating some of the dumbest songs in history.
Every story became a song, especially if it involved truck drives, life on the road, CB radio, or a situation with a woman.Singing didn't even matter; just reciting the lyrics as dialogue in a movie could suffice to get you to the top of the country charts where anything could, and would happen.
From one-hit wonders to renowned artists with an immense legacy, let's take a look at the dumbest country songs to come from the 1970s, and let's hope you don't find any of these catchy at all, for your own good.
Larry Groce - Junk Food Junkie
As the title suggests, Larry Groce sang about junk food he loved, and that's it, for more than three minutes.
Johnny Russell - Hello I Love You
Johnny Russell enjoyed the success of The Doors' Hello, I Love You and all those who bought the single confused.
Johnny Cash - One Piece at a time
Johnny Cash sings about an assembly line worker who steals parts over many year to finally build a strange car that makes no sense.
Jimmy Buffett - Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw
Jimmy Buffett is known for going straight to the point.
Jim Stafford - Wildwood Weed
This song tells the story of an elderly couple who get high on weed because they thought it was wildwood weed, but it's not even that funny.
Jerry Reed - Lord Mr Ford
The main character of this song complains directly to The Henry Ford about his new car. This has become an anti-car anthem, believe it or not.
Jeanne Pruett - Satin Sheets
This remade song is peak Countrypolitan.
Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan - Legendary Chicken Fairy
Yes, this song talks about a Legendary Chicken Fairy and includes the following lyrics: “Chicken fairy in the sky Mother Goose is butterfly.”
David Allan Coe - You Never Even Call Me By My Name
While it topped the charts, like many others on this list, this is the perfect country and western song, according to Coe, because it includes every possible cliché in country music.
Dave Dudley - Me and Old C.B.
Not even country fans like glorifying the trucking life too much, but Dave Dudley knows no limits.
C.W. McCall - Convoy
Another song that tried to capitalize on the CB Radio craze and the trucking culture so much that it sounds almost like a plain dialogue between truckers.
Conway Twitty - You've Never Been This Far Before
Conway Twitty would sing about taking a woman's virginity while looking straight at you with that face.
Charlie Daniels - Uneasy Rider
Trying to capitalize on the success of Easy Rider, Charlie Daniels wrote a song about a hippie stumbling into a redneck bar.
Bobby Bare - Dropkick Me Jesus
This song includes a lot of sports analogies and metaphors to talk about Jesus, our Lord.
Bellamy Brothers - If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me
This song became so popular that it transformed into a popular pickup line. Now, people refer to it as “…Had…” for short.
Ray Stevens - Ahab the Arab
We don't even have to explain this one because there's a music video.
Rick Dees - Disco Duck
This pop song became so popular that it crossed over to Country charts, where everyone was familiar with novelty songs and ridiculous premises using a talking duck as a beat.
Ray Stevens - The Streak
You could write about anything in the 70s, so Ray Stevens sang about streaking, a.k.a. running naked.
Merle Haggard - The Fighting Side of Me
Merle Haggard wanted to sing about patriotism and fighting dissenters, but the song was perceived almost as a jingle.
Marty Robbins - My Woman, My Woman, My Wife
While utterly romantic, Marty Robbins' song went too far on its theme while being overly patronizing towards the love of his life.
