35 Jokes Service Workers Are Tired of Hearing From Customers

‘No price tag. It must be free!’
35 Jokes Service Workers Are Tired of Hearing From Customers

Every time a customer cracks a tired joke, they’re shaving years off of a service worker’s life.

A Redditor who works the frozen-food aisle comes close to calling it quits and freezing to death in between stacks of DiGiorno pizza each summer, as the warm weather means being asked the same singular question over and over: “I bet you’re glad to be in there today, eh?” 

Enough! 

Other Redditors have shared the repetitive, unfunny quips they’re tired of hearing from customers, including asking the ATM repairman for “free samples” or wanting an employee discount for using the self-checkout. If you feel the urge to utter one of these phrases, please collect yourself and refrain. Don’t be part of the problem.

kitten_mcnuggets 10y ago I work in a bakery. Customers only have two phrases. When you ask what they want: I'll have one of everything! When they make small talk: If I worked here I would weigh a ton! I give a fake smile, tell them that I like a challenge and I have enough boxes to sell them one of everything. 2 ...
Ok-Opportunity5731 1y ago e I always hated hearing You have the coolest job in the store anytime I had to put ice out in the summer working at a grocery store 2 ...
DD-1 pinwheelguy 1y ago . Everytime an older customer who's obviously at least in their 50s buys alcohol I'm not 21 yet can I buy this? just.... no. please stop. + 5 ...
mimitchi33 1y ago Me, telling a customer their total: $19. (insert numbers here) Customer: That was a great year, wasn't it? This one I don't like because most of the time, it doesn't make sense. Like dude, you were actually alive in 1936? + 18 ...
HunterStubb 10y ago I am 20 but short and look quite a bit younger so nearly every day someone asks if I'm old enough to sell them cigarettes or work at this store 3 ...
Emmiey . 10mo ago When I'm on a ladder Don't jump literally makes me want to jump and crack my skull. Please stfu 9 ...
OddConstruction7191 10mo ago If I was sitting on a crate working on a bottom shelf someone would always say that it must be nice to sit down on the job. + 15 ...
Kitchen-Effective-36 1y ago - And don't forget when your line is clear and they roll up: you look lonely! + 27 ...
swim_and_sleep 1y ago 0 I work in bedding.. I tell customers to feel free to lie down on the mattress to try it. Literally every single one says if I lie down I won't get up I roll my eyes so hard + 25 ...
yumyumytaco 10y ago When I used to work in a restaurant anyone who came in with a young child in their group and replied to how many in your party with an answer like 2........ and a half. Но Но Но I wanted to stab. 5 ...
Krinks1 10y ago 0 Used to work in a casino, and got tired of hearing, Which machines pay out? My response: The bank machines. 7 ...
Screw_You_Citibank . 10y ago Not retail but hotel. What time do you close. I just give them a dead in they eyes stare. 6 ...
purplewolfwitch 2y ago e When you're cleaning the shelves and a customer says oh you can come home with me and do mine if you like! I've taken to responding that they couldn't afford my rates 3 ...
Smabwgi 10y ago I wear a name tag on the upper right of my chest. I'm a female. I've gotten asked on more than one occasion, what's the other one called? So inappropriate. And I'm pervy, but when I'm at work, and you know I have to smile and be nice, don't fucking talk about my tits. If I weren't at work, I'd fucking punch you. + 7 ...
stonedngettinboned e 2y ago i'm a barber, so when i ask them how they'd like their neckline, square or rounded and they go oh i don't care i can't see back there. you could draw picture back there and i wouldn't know! it gets really old lol 3 ...
Beep_boop_human 2y ago I work in a liquor store. The jokes I hate are ones that put me in shitty positions, eg parents 'joking' it's for their kids or that their mate is using a fake ID. I use my discretion and usually let it go if I judge it's just a dumb joke but at the same time I could potentially get in a lot trouble if the wrong person overheard you. 4 ...
Hex-a-tit 2y ago In my job I have to ask people if they're walking in or picking up an order. I get a lot of I'm walking in to pick up! 1 ...
starrfast 2y ago e You must be good at Tetris, when I'm packing a cart. Right, and you must be good at coming up with unoriginal jokes.
DezPezInOz 2y ago When I used to fix ATMs, customers (usually older people) would walk past and ask, Any free samples?. I'd usually not even bother looking back at them and reply No. We gave them all out to the 20 people before you who asked the exact same question. Everyone thinks they're original. The thing about the it must be free line is it was never funny to begin with. It's just tiresome + 73 ...
idle-delilah 2y ago I work at a liquor store. When I ask customers if they want a receipt they'll hit me with the old no thanks, can't claim it back on tax! and act like it's the funniest, most original shit ever. I've heard it so many times I can't even pretend to laugh at it. I even kept a running tally of how many times I'd hear it in a day! + 4 ...
JossBurnezz 2y ago Working hard or hardly working? I'm the only mf'er in this meat dept during evening rush. Wtf do you think?
Protectorsoftman . 2y ago . So I get an employee discount for scanning my own items right? 7 ...
is2o 2y ago On a hot day - I bet you're glad to be in here today I work in the frozen food section. Thing is, I wouldn't have a clue how hot it is outside because I start before the sun is up. + 4 ...
BIG_UPS_TO_THIS_GUY 11y ago After running their credit card. Wow I can't believe that went through! 1 ...
sluteverbabe e 10y ago . Edited 10y ago o Restaurant within the airport: Check, please. I have a plane to catch Well yeah, I hope you didn't buy a plane ticket just to get through TSA to eat at Chili's. 25 ...
kaisawheel 11y ago Working at a convenience store and selling a lotto ticket, Make sure it's a winner! + 4 ...
RadioactiveWalrus ОР . 10y ago e I'll throw my own in here, even though I have yet to think of a witty reply. When checking to make sure a bill is legit: I just printed it off today! Heh heh heh... + 25 ...
the_crsk 9 10y ago e There's always the, Would you like a bag with that? question to which middle aged men frequently reply, No I've got one at home and she's probably sitting on the sofa. Yet to think of a witty response though. + 14 ...
Mogar_the_Bear 10y ago We have a year return policy on all unworn products where I work. The amount of times I hear I'll wear them for a year then bring them back is ridiculous. I usually just repeat that they have to be unworn. Passive aggressiveness is the way forward. 23 ...
lolalodge e 12y ago I say my name is blank and i'll be your server. They say my name is fred and i'll be your customer. + 2.7K ...
ShitmouthMcArsewank . 10y ago e Item doesn't scan. Must be free then! Wahey!  + 106 ...
BigPapaD 1 12y ago e I work as a bank teller, and at least once a day someone making a withdrawal says Feel free to throw a little extra in there! + 620 ...
winnie_bago . 10y ago When you offer them a bag and they say, Save a plastic tree. I just smile and nod. + 26 ...
Vandelay1ndustries 10y ago . I work at a beer distributor. Whenever I'm wheeling around cases of beer on my handtruck people will say you can put those cases in the back of that (insert car type)! It's nice that they're being friendly, but I've just heard it so many times that it gets old. I usually just give a fake laugh and say you got it + 41 ...
frostrz 10y ago I work in pet food retail, where the food typically costs about $60-$100 per 30lb bag. My dog eats better than I do! Well, you could always trade. Usually shuts people up.

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