35 Funny Bits of Family Drama People Have Dealt With on Thanksgiving

‘Aunts got into a fistfight in the front yard’
35 Funny Bits of Family Drama People Have Dealt With on Thanksgiving

If your family is insane enough, you’re likely grateful for the fact that Thanksgiving only happens once a year. But it’s important to remember that without crazy families, we wouldn’t have incredible stories that start off with “My cousin stole a four-wheeler from a police dispatcher and left it in our yard.” Or: “Father-in-law got drunk, took his shirt off and then arm wrestled my son (lost).” 

These are the rich, tradition-filled tales that should be heard by all, especially during this season of togetherness. So, whether you’re finding out about your extended family’s conspiracy theories or eating a dish best described as a “war crime,” please enjoy these Thanksgiving stories from Redditors whose families are just as insane as yours.

Content_Pool_1391 1y ago . My whole family decided to go on vacation for Thanksgiving. They neglected to tell me until yesterday. They were like oh hey we are going to New Orleans and your sister and her family are going to Disney. Which means you get to spend Thanksgiving alone. Oh I'm so blessed.... + 458 ...

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 . 6y ago When the lights flickered off for a second and grandma said, do you think it's the Muslims? 1.5K ...

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Own-Swimming9448 1y ago My cousin announced he was a wear-wolf. Like full on...wear wolf gloves and all. No joke. 544 ...

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 e 1y ago I found out those mashed potatoes my uncle had been making by hand all these years are actually store bought. 790 ...

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000-000-000yea . 3y ago e My sister in law let everyone know that her husband has a small penis + 11K ...

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ACED icehouseyo 1y ago My kid told her cousin Santa wasn't real. All hell has broken loose. + 6.4K ...

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regandlmz 1y ago в Well as I type, the woman on Family Feud right now looks so scary she frightened my grandmother with dementia to the point of needing to change the channel. So a pretty tame year I suppose! + 2K ...

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FalseAesop 1y ago . Current argument is my sister in law arguing with my brother about the proper way to measure screen size. He's right you measure diagonally. But I am staying out of this + 5K ...

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 1y ago My mom is super mad that my kids call themselves nerds. Like she's super offended as if it's the other other n word. I have no idea where her incredibly strongly held beliefs about the word nerd come from, but I assure you they are not organic. 1K ...

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ThatPersonZenZen e 3y ago My cousin unfortunately came out as a flat earther while I was showing off my brand new telescope I bought recently + 14K ...

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Backslasherton 3y ago e We found out grandma gets competitive as hell in beer pong. + 18K ...

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PonyboysBlues 3y ago My grandmothers dog literally died an hour before dinner + 19K ...

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amboomernotkaren 3y ago . My kids got hammered Wed night, one got left at the bar and walked 3 miles to get home. I woke up 3 am and saw that one kid was missing so I called him. Не was still a mile from home so I drove to get him. When I got to him the police were questing him. Said they had a report of a man with a weapon having a mental health crisis. Luckily they got another call and let my doofus go home with me. + 21K ...

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_Stamos 3y ago Father in law got drunk, took his shirt off and then arm wrestled my son (lost). Then tried to tackle his daughter (my wife) (also lost). Everyone is worried grandma has dementia but for some reason she made a pie. Everyone ate it and pretended it was pie. Not sure what to call it; it was in a pie pan, there was no crust. It had apples. + 23K ...

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acheron53 1y ago 0 Sister in law revealed to her ultra conservative Christian parents that she's part of a throuple less than 6 months after she separated from her husband. Wife and I are sitting back and watching the drama unfold. + 3.1K ...

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Skr000 6y ago My dad had an allergic reaction to shrimp cocktail before dinner and his face blew up. Не refused to come out of the kitchen or sit at the table with us. Не was just eating his food in the kitchen and trying to act like things were normal, like yelling out Hey, good mashed potatoes this year, huh? Meanwhile, my mom is anger-crying at the table, telling us to just eat our fucking food that she worked all day on. All of us kids are just very scared and very confused. My sister starts crying because things

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Regular_Ant5697 1y ago My grandma got a new wig (short brown bob) and now bares a striking resemblance to Uncle Fester in Addams Family Values + 2.7K ...

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falsesleep 1y ago My partner's aunt made a huge stink that the cranberry sauce had to be this specific kind from a can. And no, it couldn't be that same brand of cranberry sauce that had been purchased because said can had actual fruit in it. Partner's dad had to hurry to the grocery store to buy the right one. Only after the meal was over did anyone notice that neither cranberry sauce had actually been put out for dinner. + 8K ...

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AbheyBloodmane . Зу ago The gravy was a war crime. The plastic cooking utensil melted into it. I was the first to find out. + 26K ...

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 6y ago A family friend, who happened to be lesbian, thought it would be a good idea to carry at least 20 plates across the living room. As one could expect, she dropped all of the plates onto the floor. Then my grandfather, who barely knows this friend says the most infamous words in our families history, you know those lesbians. Slippery fingers. + 31K ...

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cautiondrypaint 6y ago . Family member FLIPS OUT in front of their mothers side of the family because their sibling served salsa to their cousin in a bowl that is too small, what if he wants more?!. They promptly left in a huff and everything was grand for the rest of the day. 488 ...

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HotRod_AI 6y ago One Thanksgiving my older brother took over cooking duties. Не had just graduated from culinary school and was an amazing chef. My aunt and cousins came over to find a juicy Turkey and amazing sides. She likes her turkey burned apparently and made her family not eat the dinner. They all watched us eat. My mom was so pissed they never got invited back to our house for any event for years. + 21K ...

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yelyah66 6y ago I was 8 and hanging out with an older family friend, she was about 13. For some reason my very drunk and high aunt thought that this family friend was turning me against my cousin (her daughter) and bursts into the house screaming at her about this. Then said aunt got into a fist fight with another aunt in the front yard. Yeah, we stopped seeing that side of the family for awhile. 12K ...

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SexySolemates 6y ago My oldest sister called another sister a fat bitch over some stupid fight they've been having for years, who then in turn picked up the bowl of green bean casserole and threw it at her. She missed (it wasn't that far, but I guess she was really angry and that messed up her aim), and it ended up hitting my mother's favorite painting. It wasn't salvageable. We all stopped having Thanksgiving with the entire family after that. 17K ...

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LibrarianSerrah 6y ago Mom bought a new stove and had me, my brother, his very pregnant girlfriend, and a few others over for Thanksgiving. About a half hour to an hour before the turkey was supposed to be done, Mom checked on it. It was still raw. She had hit the wrong button when programming the new stove and accidentally shut it off. Luckily we learned you can in fact microwave a turkey because, judging from the look my brother's pregnant GF gave, she was ready to eat my mom. (Not surprising the turkey was a bit dry but otherwise

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 6y ago Edited 6y ago Spent all day cleaning the house for the guests. Made sure the windows were incredibly clean and clear. Little brother and cousin were chasing eachother outside. Brother comes running through the door which was clearly open because you couldn't see the gla- uh oh. Не slammed through the plate glass window and got a massive gash on his face and leg. 80 stitches, plastic surgery, and a multiple day hospital stay. Don't clean your windows too well. 8.3K ...

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MiNiX97 6y ago My 4-year old sister was sitting at the dinner table next to Grandma. After taking a bite of something she said my tongue hurts to which Grandma replied , well come here and let me kiss it to make it feel better. The moment their lips touched, my sister vomited directly into Grandma's mouth. My dad bursts into laughter and Grandma passes off my sister while she gets up to go clean up in the bathroom. Not more than 5 seconds after she left, a 2 square foot chunk of the ceiling caved in and fell directly onto

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life_inabox 6y ago My cousin stole a four wheeler from a police dispatcher and left it in our yard. Told us he and a buddy would come back later to get it cos it was out of gas. Mom sent me to Kroger that morning hoping they had pie shells and called me when I was driving back warning me not to speed cos police were all over our road. (We lived on farm a mile long country road. We were the only house on it.) The police took our statements, retrieved the ATV, and we didn't have chocolate pie

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physicslover69 6y ago Someone will say pass the dinner rolls in front of my dad and he will pick it up and throw it at them. Every. Single. Year. You have to specifically say please hand me the dinner rolls or you get a bun thrown at your head. + 10K ...

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shhh_its_sneakos . 6y ago . I thought it would be a funny prank to put a rubber chicken in the oven on Thanksgiving. My mom would laugh and laugh. Но ho ho, there's a rubber chicken in the oven, what a gag. 13 year old me didn't realize that normal adults usually preheat the oven before putting the turkey in. + 16K ...

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MyElectricCity 6y ago Oh shit. My mom dominated the conversation about how everyone should be drinking their pee. For a solid 45 minutes. She read in some yoga book about how it cures some infection called Bali belly that you get in places like, you guessed it, Bali. But also that it's actually just really helpful for all sorts of shit. Went way into detail about how you have to catch it mid stream of the first pee of the morning blah blah blah. By the end she was defending it so thoroughly she said she was going to start

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Annieruinsevrythng 6y ago . At my friend's conservative catholic family's house for thanksgiving, and his older brother told everyone that my pal had gotten a tattoo. His parents were pissed, and forced him to show them the tattoo. When they saw that it was a dollar sign on his left butt cheek, there were tears + 3.2K ...

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HarryAndLana 6 6y ago 9 My uncle broke one of my grandmother's antique chairs during an aggressive game of spoons. It was too funny for anyone to be mad. + 7.3K ...

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Buttxtouch o 6y ago . My aunt not being able to come because she was in jail for trying to shoplift a turkey from the grocery 23K ...

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DrunkOffMyAsh 6y ago My grandmother ran over herself with her SUV. I was on my way to the festivities when it happened, so I don't know the exact details, but she was getting out food from the back of her SUV, put it in neutral instead of park, and it slowly ran her over. The craziest part is that my family (all inside) didn't notice until they heard a bump against the house. The SUV made three loops before hitting the house. She ended up being fine but now isn't allowed to go outside alone anymore on holidays. This story

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