39 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, September 6, 2024

Why use a semicolon when you could use an em dash?
39 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, September 6, 2024

Keke Palmer is headed to the suburbs. The Nope actress is set to star in a serialized adaptation of Joe Dante’s 1989 black comedy The ‘Burbs for Peacock in a straight-to-series order. The new take on the Tom Hanks cult classic is coming to life with the help of Seth MacFarlane’s Fuzzy Door Productions, along with Brian Grazer and Dana Olsen, who worked on the original film. Dante made a plea via Twitter for someone to call him, but there’s no word yet on whether or not anyone’s picked up the phone. 

Meanwhile, it seems like George Clooney and Brad Pitt just don’t know how to quit each other — or the Ocean’s franchise. As the duo promotes their new comedy thriller Wolfs, talk of a new Ocean’s installment has grown louder. The Warner Bros. caper, which is being actively developed by Clooney’s production banner Smokehouse Pictures, is said to be courting Oscar-winning director Edward Berger to take the reins from Steven Soderbergh. Should the All Quiet on the Western Front director be tapped for the project, it would mark the first Ocean’s heist without Soderbergh involved. 

And per usual, the comedians on the timeline are stealing a few laughs with their hysterical tweets. Today’s funniest include those about a hobby fit for Garfield, the journey of the immortal crumb and a chicken that died for nothing.

inspector ratchet @_hood_mon... . 1d ... Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said lasagna 167 515 4,251 158K
mia ) @lightstakeme 1d he wants that cookie so effing bad fall version Make go-t even TRY DELI SEASONAL SEASONAL NEW SEASONAL NOSY SEASONAL SEASONAL TREA Raccoon Cake Pop Fox Sugar Cookie $3.25 $3.65 140 Cals SEASONAL 320 Cals SEASONAL POBETARIAN 71 6,484 100K 1.3M
Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred· 1d ... I've never used a semicolon with 100% confidence. 401 10.3K 72.1K 1.4M
Hugh Breeze @biggeebman 1d Johnny Manziel probably has some legendary memories on Snapchat 40 1,823 36K 1.2M
Natalie Would @_NatalieWould-23h ... Permission to cry, your honor 12 249 936 28.7K
Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969 21h ... the seventh grader in me wants to high five whoever did this To uniock this suite for pumping or breastfeeding, enter 8008 on the keypad. mamova We love - - tran 1 14 156 1,669 55.3K
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse 1d ... no jesusing here PLEASE DO NOT WALK ON THE WATER 29 89 646 del 22.1K
the vibe formerly known as juli... . 1d ... Haven't fried my brain all the way but there are definitely some grill marks on it. 124 929 27.4K
iya @hotmessjunk. 1d lay the table with the fancy shit 170 6,358 52.6K 1.1M
Rel/Zinnia @DewEnjoyer. 1d WHAT DID THEY DO то HIM?! 390 (397)  () TIL- Blue 100 364 16.7K 181K 3.1M
Pandy Fackler @ThatBrenna.1 1d ... Apparently rock bottom has a basement 32 339 1,582 del 38.7K
andy van slyke @im_all_id- 1d ... Obituaries should have clickbait titles 35 114 465 19.4K
Satan @s8n . 2 23h The immortal crumb in my air fryer that just keeps getting cooked over and over 76 3,195 53.2K 1.2M
cold @coldhealing 18h ... yeah that 16 month gap in my resume is the time i spent in the woods in new hampshire where eventually god revealed to me that my purpose in life is to be a wealth manager here at wells fargo :) 18 607 9,756 del 217K
K @misskaren1981.1d When you forget your shoes for P.E CalvnKlein Colvin Klen 121 919 21.5K 998K
zan's mom @bimbocowgirl. 21h my little brother 1:50 64 120 CR Colin> Today 11:28 AM Do you still make random tweets sometimes? I've got a really good one The world would be a better place if we just let the autistic train people handle transportation 213 4,155 104K 1.7M
Paladin Posting @DevotionOath - dd ... PRITHEE I do not serve cunt I am cunt's servant 106 14K 142K 4.5M
Retro Toys and Cartoons @t... 1d ... Tom Brady is dressed like he's going to kill Roger Rabbit and the rest of Toontown. 246 689 7,946 210K
lari @martiniposting. 20h does she have a gambling problem or something FILM LIPOATES Film Updates @FilmUp... 23h Amy Adams to produce and star in 'LAZY SUSANS,' a new comedy for 20th Century Studios. The film is about a group of moms who form a rock band. 41 223 9,723 424K
Criminalsimpsons @Crimin... 22h ... So | used a pencil to stab holes in my eraser, which was the style at the time. 36 1,187 16.3K 491K
KILL @broztitute.1 19h that chicken died for nothing Don Julio. @ItsLungadonsa-22h Chicken briyani 448 14.6K 164K 4.6M
Wild TikToks с @wildtiktokss.2h ... i see this dolphin more than my dad 15 234 2,337 44.9K
mazzy @mazzypopstar 22h ... 12 children.... That's a whole JLo concert Youngboy Snippets @Yo... . 1d Congrats to NBA YoungBoy for welcoming his 12th Child XM 89 1,570 32.8K 875K
WrestleOops @WrestleOops_.1d ... WO HEARTBREAKING Hulk Hogan was found alive this morning at age 71 KAMANTA 1,772 9,083 113K del 6.2M
greg @greg16676935420.20h Got him! Maxx Chewning @MaxxChewning 18m ... Weird question...but why do you follow my social media pages? Could be YouTube, X or IG...wondering what specifically you get out of the content I produce? 37 1 19 3.3K greg @greg16676935420-6m Honestly not sure. Dee told me to follow you last year and I just forgot to unfollow you I guess 9 44 del 1.2K Maxx Chewning @MaxxChewning.3m always see you talking about Dee, who is that? 8 4 152 greg @greg16676935420-1m Deez Nuts 5 17 23 Maxx Chewning 1,699 3,304 95.4K 3.1M
KACHI @Kachidey4you-7h 80% and you're still saying my MAKANAKI @black_bhoy_.8h How can I get 80% plagiarism on my project 486 9,710 94.1K 2.1M
Taty @holligrove_. 1d Bro is fired. EXIT 200 WEST 64 295 60 Richmond Washington Mount NC LY 3,593 18.5K 233K 10.1M
Wesile Snipes @_sugarvenom - .23h ... I've never had this realisation boyaOMega @0megaB... 23h What made you realize you fumbled a good partner? 116 8,010 24.6K 963K
Mike's Mic Charts @mikesmic... 16h ... these pics always give me Judge Judy realness isa! @alwaysgnnafeel - 1d why does everyone always look so damn good on this french show 9 183 10.2K 204K
Only God Forgives. @ARC_ROA... 9h ... a tantalizing proposition.. 3D Meet a life- sized mallard duck up close 8 358 3,183 41.3K
lou ) @gobbluthsgf.18h this is literally succession nico @mikubluth.1 19h thinking about the fact that i can't find the pics from this photoshoot in good quality (aside of this one) 10 601 12.7K 385K
@alvrgirl. 23h hearing get into groups! in a class where u dont know anyone 641 32.2K 345K 3.8M
that gilly girl @gillyorwhatev.... 5h ... This was a long ass short week. 26 4,620 9,018 240K
Nkanyiso Mnomiya @Nk... 11h ... When you realize you overshared with a gossipy person. 108 2,331 10.8K 261K
HOURLY shitpost @..... 23h ... quieres First day to school and first day to school as a teacher. wasdzxc 5h You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain 14 1,441 28.5K a 217K
A @itsYDG2.4h Hulk Hogan: Selling out to MAGA while Sevin Nash on Fertam .. views trying to convince everyone he's Not That Racist Anymore The Rock: Mid-life movie star crisis Stone Cold: steveaustinbsr ... Travis Tritt Country Club 107 1,110 11.4K 224K
esra @1989healy 17h Не looks like a dipped teabag be so fucking serious Tiffani @PALLOTAYVIS.20h Не ate with this fit 49 830 28.8K 721K
@marenyearly.2 22h This being written on a women's bathroom stall is sending me WHO'S HOTTER? JACÓB DREW STARKY ELORDI XIIITI AIR to MK!!! 84 900 17.2K 487K
KILL @broztitute.1 13h do you wanna record or not? Feru @ferupity 1d guys be like pull up to the studio and it be this NIKE LIV 197 4,492 40.6K 1M

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?