35 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, August 22, 2024

Surely someone has done this
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, August 22, 2024

Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis has been riddled with drama, and its recent trailer release has been no different. Lionsgate capitalized on the fact that the controversial auteur’s latest film is already polarizing with critics by releasing a trailer full of quotes criticizing other entries in Coppola’s iconic filmography. The only issue? Some Google-happy sleuths discovered that the “quotes” criticizing Apocalypse Now and The Godfather were entirely fabricated — with some negative quotes even attributed to critics who liked the films. The studio has since pulled the trailer and apologized for the “inexcusable error in (its) vetting process.” 

To borrow parlance from Peter Griffin, the marketing move really insisted upon itself. 

Meanwhile, Jack Black and Paul Rudd’s Anaconda don’t want none unless it’s comedy, hun. Sources say that the two actors are in talks to star in a comedic reimagining of the 1997 horror classic starring Jennifer Lopez and Owen Wilson. The project has been circling the swamp since last year, with Columbia Pictures going through several rewrites to strike the right tone. The final product is now in the hands of The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent’s Tom Gormican and his frequent collaborator Kevin Etten. 

Over on the timeline, the comedians are slithering to the forefront yet again. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a horny senator, establishments that don’t take grammar into consideration and the chilling question of Alien

2 tims 1 cup @theVibesGuru 2h ... We saw you from across the lunchroom, TIM TIM ALZ (Reg and think you are really mature for your age HE LO ERIEND 13 329 3,880 96.5K
tatyana @tatbaee 19h ... every time sending that pretending crazy text i'm chill 22 3,773 16.1K 484K
Dr Sean Travers @seanjetravers 10h 7.... How I look approaching a stray cat 11 394 3,113 112K
Matty @bestestname. 1d Wtf is my dishwasher doing for 2 hours? 72 123 1,144 34.2K
sweetie @cwtyp 22h Can't emphasise the importance of ending on bad terms BigDaddySpice 1d Breaking up on good terms will actually finish you 125 6,993 50.9K 2.2M
rob spearing news & updates 1h chris evans as bushwick bisexual best of chris evans @eva... 20h Chris Evans as Bushwick Bisexual in Celine Song's 'THE MATERIALISTS' for A24 - - CHICKEN OVER 2043 52 CHICKEN GYRD CHILI CHEESE DOG COMICS 9 116 4,240 116K
Losing it @prophethusband 50m ... Walked by a coworkers computer and he was just looking at a picture of a hotdog 3 25 303 9,712
xdeadbeat @pr@dxdeadbeat.22h ... when i was 19 i i was dating this 32 year old woman who got very very upset when her friends asked me what we were doing for her 40th bday and thats when i learned she was, in fact, 39 49 458 14.1K 373K
Rolo Tony @PoorOldRoloTony.20h ... The Crow remake seems like its marketed directly to every toxic couple fighting in McDonald's dining rooms past 11pm. 7 160 1,304 39.4K
jack jack @jackstanclub.19h my eyes just popped out of my skull 211 14.6K 291K 2.6M
Jacob Website @JacobWebsite. 1d ... MO SMOKING NO LOTTERRIC PROVATE Sometimes i ask friends with 9-5s to PROPERTY hang out in the middle of the day because i never know if they have real jobs or fake online jobs where they can go hang out at 1pm 26 1,695 54.9K del 1.1M
Blumen Stars and Frost 22h ... It's on Chicky. It's literally on Wendy's+. It's on WhataTube with ads. It's literally on Burgo. You can probably find it on McTwitch. Dude it's on Red Lobster. It's a KFC original. It's on Chipotle. You can watch it on Chipotle. You can go to Ch DEADLINE Deadline @DEADLINE.23h EXCLUSIVE: Chick-Fil-A is moving aggressively into the entertainment space with plans to launch a slate of originals for its own streaming platform deadline.com/2024/08/c... 13 1,272 11K 249K
Gabe @bloodiedflora-7 7h Enter Character Name Chappel Gnome 330 11K 130K 2.4M
izack @thatguyuptown.5h ... I know a glass of Chardonnay hates to see her coming Renee @PettyLupone 14h Bruh, Gwen Walz is such a mood 29 0:04 . 83 2,648 74.6K del 2.1M
sergi @sergiart5_.22h oil painting wip 93 4,234 38.5K 497K
david @davidefinitely 1d him getting further in spanish duolingo than she did was the straw that broke that camel's back Pop Base @PopBase. 1d Jennifer Lopez has filed for divorce from Ben Affleck, TMZ reports. 36 1,824 51.4K 1.5M
Sophie @sophlonglondon 18h ... we can tell NFL NFL @NFL.18h Year 20 8 8 83 1,687 53K 1.8M
Cheek Mills @gymgirllex 16h Не looks like an imaginary friend. D. Bryant @LakerG... 19h When you let your toddler pick their outfit. TR THE SHADE 400 450 5,433 43.7K del 2.1M
Liz Crash @AsFarce 14h ???? Previous What is this person's relationship to you? Description Non-binary relationship --select-- Next Immediate family member Tell I Boyfriend/Girlfriend pers optic Friend/Housemate Non-binary relationship Laun Other ALT 56 829 17.6K 304K
allie @breakcoregf. 1d the two genders Bardaisanist un @insectb... . 1d My two favorite things CDC Parasites MENU About Causes Diagnosis Caring for Yourself an Women and Parasites 20 10.9K 81.8K 1.4M
colleen @starlesseyesz.1 18h ... christian is such a funny name when you think about it. what if I named my kid atheist 105 2,663 50.2K 594K
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Ut... 18h ... I refuse to patronize Ruth's Chris Steakhouse or Fifth Third Bank until they are prosecuted for their crimes against syntax. 17 123 1,236 26.4K
(@ piper @dotor1mukk.21h ... to u have to give girls surprises or else they wither up and die. - if they don't get a surprise treat their life force begins to drain 14 3,957 25.8K 653K
Ashley C. Ford @iSmashFizzle.1 19h ... Are Jennifer Garner and Jennifer Lopez Ben Affleck's Tammy 1 1 & Tammy 2? 108 1,602 19.4K del 654K
jas @jaass2x.13h Parking tickets are hilarious this is literally gods earth dawg who are you to say i cant park there 19 2,855 15.1K 326K
Matt @scriptumsent·1 17h ... Me (lying next to 4yo as he falls asleep, thinking about the brevity of life and trying to impress this very moment in my memory for when he is grown): I love you 4yo (whispering very softly): Daddy you need a mint 6 142 6,240 220K
j@lieslmao 1d i may i be suicidal but i used to be suicidaler 89 17.3K 88.4K 1.4M
John Attridge @John_Attridge. 10h ... You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in? 18 2,395 21.5K 472K
Women Posting W's @wom... . 10h ... she's just a girl i recently found out that my first kiss is buried at the same cemetery i'm getting buried at so i'll be able to kiss him again in the afterlife even though im getting buried next to my husband... there will be drama 72k 581 25 993 27.1K 250K
Sgt. Suckdown @Sgt_Suckdown-1 1d ... Time to make a change No smoking unless On holiday/international waters My birthday My best friends birthday Outdoor concerts I've had 3 beers My friends friends birthday Only having a cheeky one Feeling stressed Celebrating a milestone (ie. haven't smoked in a week) I'm at an indoor venue where it is allowed It's sunny outside I'm feeling too healthy I seen an Asian man doing it at 7:06am outside my place of work I'm offered one 122 4,131 48.9K 2.4M
David @David_pattt.- 1h ... Even my enemies check to see if I'm still suffering Tolu Of Canada @No... . 1h I don't think you're ready to date if you're getting upset cause someone didn't hit you up for 4 days 44 873 2,274 121K
lia @justtlia 20h just found out i passed away. Willie Beamin @RealestRos... 1d There's no more good women left 52 6,400 23.4K del 850K
Comrade Sisko @Pinko... . 5h ... the film alien poses a chilling question: what if you were at your job and something happened? @StolenDans 23 1,321 17.5K 415K
no context memes @weirdda... 1d ... Sweatpants Scare @House_Feminist Leaving house: good for depression, bad for anxiety Staying at house: good for anxiety, bad for depression random-jot Follow Standing directly in the doorway to achieve peak mental health. 199 10.2K 123K 2.4M
Zach Schiffman @schlife 3h ... She is the horniest senator we've ever had Amy Klobuchar @am... 3h Put me in coach. Last night with the team... 13 MANTATO WEST 51 ZANTATE WISS 5 39 226 9,409 398K

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