39 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, August 15, 2024

Infidelity is wrong!
39 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, August 15, 2024

Ike Barinholtz continued his game-show domination with an appearance on the celebrity edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. The History of the World, Part II actor and his father, Alan, breezed to the final question where they secured a million-dollar donation for the ASL Program at an L.A. County school. This is Barinholtz’s second million-dollar victory after previously handling fellow actors Wil Wheaton and Patton Oswalt in last year’s Celebrity Jeopardy! tournament. 

Meanwhile, Julie Bowen opened up about the media games she refused to play into during her time on Modern Family. The actress, who played Claire Dunphy on the hit sitcom, joined Jennie Garth on her podcast I Choose Me and detailed all the ways the press tried to create a feud between her and co-star Sofía Vergara. Bowen said there was a “scarcity mindset” at the time with the media “determined to pit (them) against each other.” The fabricated feud eventually dissolved when Bowen wore Vergara’s blouse per the Colombian actress’ suggestion on an episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show in 2016 to prove that the two were friends — which they still are to this day.

There are definitely some funny games being played over on the timeline thanks to a fresh batch of hilarious posters. Today’s funniest tweets include an alternate history timeline, Nic Cage’s work ethic and what to do while Grindr is down.

Brooklyn @bklynb4by· 1d ... this looks like an edit of the picture of the girl standing in front of the burning house Pop Base @PopBase.1 1d Ariana Grande & Cynthia Erivo look wickedly gorgeous in new photo. 14 1,495 56.9K 824K
MS.AQUARIUS @shessodee 16h ... it's a couple of of screws loose up there.. tm when you get a chance please okay i'm in lane bryant 1 Reply who tf is bryant d'asia ? rs who bryant & don't even lie to me either i'm not even playing who's i'm rey get pissed off cause who bryant is i thought we wasn't gonna cheat on eachother no more i really stopped cheating too because ion wanna be like that so who's bryant 155 105 2,502 75.4K
hiber(nate)ing @McGreatThe... 22h ... Kira Noir Follow @thekiranoir I thought that was just a filler episode, like the murder hornets. Why are they doing a callback to this 12:44 PM -8/14/24 From Earth 2 4 Views 8 Reposts 429 Likes 2 Bookmarks POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave23h Mpox (monkeypox) has been declared a public health emergency of international concern... 463 9,177 203K
Guelly002 @SnailSnurch 3h now y'all can open indeed POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.3 3h Grindr is currently down for all users. 9 641 10.2K 281K
Scout Tafoya @Honors_Zombie 19h ... Actual 30 second gale of laughter at this CLICK HOLE ClickHole @ClickHole.2 20h Steven Spielberg said WHAT?! Originally, it was the shark who was supposed to say the line, 'You're gonna need a bigger boat, white boys!' in a quite thick Caribbean accent, voiced by me. But I couldn't pull off the accent if my life depended on it. I'm a director. Not Caribbean. - Steven Spielberg On Jaws 4 186 5,387 142K
matt @mattxiv 1d no tweets in six days her lawyer told her to shut the fuck up we won @PopBase. 1d Pop Base JK Rowling and Elon Musk have been named in cyberbullying lawsuit filed by Imane Khelif following her Olympic win. 1,095 19.2K 296K 4.7M
Nefarious Bits @BitsHam... 12h ... Hey...can u pcik me up? im to drnuk 1:42 AM oh u dnt have to anymore.. im home now 2:01 AM yes..l was aware of that after dropping u off at home. 2:19 Henal toplad: THISS IS so FUNNY TO ME 4 1,329 28.3K 304K
emilio @emilio_oilime.21h i don't fucking know girl @Locati... ...22h Epic Maps Why is papua new guinea a very tropical island while northern australia is arid ? 24 985 29.2K

 Image provided by Cracked

Nandre @Nan_dre_ 4h You ever dance so bad that you get criminally investigated KICKS Kicks @kicks. 15h Australian breakdancer 'Raygun' is being accused of 'rigging' her way to the 2024 Olympics A thread D RACA AUSTRALIA S PA 11 750 15.4K 172K
howard @mistahowie 15h ... Hot woman that I am on a date with: So *twirling her hair* What do you like to do outside of work? Me: *fingers tented* I like to frequent the bathroom quite a bit. 1 27 335 4,127
kenzi @kenzianidiot.15h ... watching a murder doc and the main girl just said i believe god put me in this prison for a reason and im like well the reason is you murdered your husband 17 113 3,929 del 64.5K
ThePeoplesElbow @Idris_EL... 19h ... derby Follow back @derbydefi the persecution of short people is worse than racism 2:02 PM 18-14/24 From Earth 60 Views derby @derbydefi 19h the persecution of short people is worse than racism 175 9,608 154K 3.7M
ash @LoonieLunas 20h ... i, once again, must inform you all that what makes this even funnier is that channing tatum genuinely typed out each individual ha before remembering that he could copy and paste  fredfenster 114 points an hour ago How long did that hahahahahahaa email take to type? permalink  ChanningTatumHere  231 points an hour ago I'm sure exactly how long. I hit the h and a for a long time before I realized I could copy and paste. I'm not the most tech savvy person around but it did become a lot easier and faster.
media from the camera roll... 1d ... gaysOn @g4ysOn syrup Khalil Underwood @RealKhalilU - 2d Syrup isn't available. What are you putting on these? j@queenminaji03 48 1,654 36.1K 518K
FMJ satans greatest soldier @theda... 1d ... don't know who purple rat is but he looks dope and down to earth TH 30 368 8,065 del 212K
nash flynn @itsnashflynn 22h ... laugh TODO was in a meeting that ran over by about 20 minutes and the presenter was not even close to being finished until a very exasperated nigerian colleague unmuted herself to announce loudly i am very unhappy with you, barry 25 1,752 81.4K 752K
Liv @Liv_Agar 1d ... Guy stopped me on the street and asked where the closest McDonald's is and when I told him he was like do you mind if I treat you with a burger? 161 387 27.8K del 657K
saucefunk @saucefunk.20h HELP Upstairs_Fall_5543 5h ago Edited 43m ago Hi Oz! I was a fan of the movie and I'll only ask one question. How did Nic Cage feel about singing? 4 Reply Award Share Longlegs-OzPerkins OP 7m ago Osgood Perkins, Filmmaker nick would run into traffic if he thought it would help the movie Vote Reply Award Share 13 2,616 25.6K 446K
earl simmons @iamsamkeller. 1 18h ... got into an Uber and the driver tells me he isn't going to vent about his day so instead he's just describing play by play the eagles losses that have pissed him off the most throughout his life 25 384 8,653 241K
vo @vanillaopinions 14h ... this is what every group of teenage boys looks like to me 13 1,305 27.7K 782K
poppa @popitforpoppa 23h please don't flirt with me i don't wanna cheat on my crush who doesn't like me 52 5,267 41K del 1M
maha @mahaaaay 15h ... due to inflation you may now make two (2) i'm going to kill myself jokes per day maha @mahaaaay 6/15/24 you're allowed to make one (1) i'm going to kill myself joke per day 53 6,854 52.6K del 1.7M
frankie steins gay uncle @kun... 17h ... what the fuck happened to saying hi or hello jackson h. I actually have a fungal/spore based mind control fetish and I was wondering if you 193 4,327 51.4K 912K
gal kilmer @beepupkin 1d me driving my chevy to the levy: haha fuck yeah!!! yes!! discovering the levy is dry: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck. 7 548 6,032 del 124K
KACHI @Kachidey4you.8h ... Ya'll look like a memory TemiTope.PR @te... 2d been so long i saw my family. 56 1,255 15.1K 349K
hairline tan line @IdahoBones 2h ... What do you even do on bachelor parties Can't wait for 10 dudes in that в pool together K Whirlpool time We're gonna be getting that thang WHIRLING 5 15 697 31.3K
derek guy @dieworkwear 21h ... carrying a cup of coffee everywhere, just sloshing around, while i try to cross the border with a gun in my pocket 10x'er @10x_er.- 1d edc oir NATURA AMERICAN SPIRIT PASSPORT the AREAS adidas OWN TOBACCO United States WARNING: This of America product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemica W0943134728 D4 218 455 15K 492K
MasterOfPasta @_MasterOfP....1 17h ... Alternate history idea 9/11 happens 2 months earlier so 7-Eleven has to rebrand 58 5,439 96.6K del 1.1M
chunky fila @chunkyfila 16h They have your social security number!!!! And? Who cares. So does every job I've ever worked and they've stolen far more from me than any hacker ever could. 10 2,307 26.3K 305K
Yung Caligula X @Holy_Calig... 18h ... ok ima ABANDON ALL HOPE CHARON damn the enduring human spirit got hands 10 1,748 10.6K 306K
Blake TM @NeilNevins 14h love the feel of those early Resident Evil games where you inspect a PNG of a bowl on a table in an abandoned building and get text like Been a while since I've had some soup...no time now 16 864 6.1K 105K
Cormac @yungpapist. 23h IDIA Yeah good luck finding a qualified 3 year old 33 TATE 3 Year Old teacher Hickory Hill Academy Madison, WI 53719 $18-$25 an hour Full-time +1 14 2.2K 67K del 1M
Jenni @hashjenni 21h ... me trying to stay awake at work after eating lunch 168 30K 175K del 6M
Pengu @Penguxn 1d ... grow up i'm 5'2 at 26 years old i'm afraid my growing era is over 59 2.9K 17K 575K
lila @faelwnnon 2d ... beatles matttt ... @computer_gay  one of you will betray me 2 588 5.3K 105K
Pastrami Mommy @Ewelannawhite 1d shazam but for whatever the fuck goes on in the apartment upstairs 8 680 12K 314K
Meg @megannn_lynne 1d staying humble with my weekly Irrelevance Alert Linkedln 1m ago M You appeared in 0 searches See who searched for your profile 14 470 11K 195K
SameolDuff @TheyHateDuffy. 16h What have you seen Him Hardaway @uhvawntay 20h New ID came in... 6 year difference lol MARYLAND MAR Driver's License Driver's Li USA DL Customer MD 10068C708 10016A2B6 400g CAPITOL HEIGHTS Date of birth Sex Height 08/23/1988 M 6'-01 Restrictions Classifications В C 358 257K 4.8M 14K
Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais 23h If you are a parent of a child under 3, this is like Pacino and EVERY De Niro doing Heat. Elmo @elmo 1d NEW BESTIES ALERT! Elmo and Ms. Rachel had the best playdate ever! Ms. Rachel even brought Elmo his own headband! 165 5.2K 63K 3.2M

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