25 Funny Lies Teachers Have Told to Students
![25 Funny Lies Teachers Have Told to Students](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/5/5/1115155_320x180.jpg)
Though teachers are severely lacking in pay and classroom budgets, they have a privilege that some of us don’t: the ability to lie to children. Yes, as a parent, you can lie to your child at any time, but your child might remember those lies and challenge you on them later in life. Teachers don’t have to deal with that — they can lie for an entire year and then be rid of that child, which is the dream.
The lie is even better if the teacher has a prop to help push their agenda. For instance, one teacher used their missing finger to get students to heed different warnings: “Don’t slam doors, you could lose a finger,” “Watch where you’re cutting, you could lose a finger” and so on.
Other teachers have cackled about the favorite lies they’ve told their stupid little pupils, and the “escalator incident” sounds scary enough to be real.
![Ipilt e 5y ago A teacher once told us (after being fed up with everyone fake coughing in assembly) that every time you coughed when you didn't need to a layer of skin would peel off the back of your throat. I was terrified to cough for skin long after that. 4 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/9/1114599.jpg)
![kittelz 5y ago When my students ask me a question I don't know the answer to I tell the student that the best way to learn is to discover on their own and have them look it up and report their findings to the class so I know the answer for next time the question comes up as well 5 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/8/1114598.jpg)
![lilbumhole 5y ago One time in 4th grade I told my teacher I forgot my assignment(that I didn't do) at home on my desk. Не told me if that's the truth he'll have the friendly school police officer drive there and get it because all cops have extra keys into students homes. I bought it and came clean about lying. Can't remember what the consequences were, if any. 4 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/1/1114601.jpg)
![LelanaSongwind . 5y ago My boyfriend is a teacher, and he tells kids that he's deaf in his left ear so they have to be quiet while someone is asking a question so he can hear them. It's hilarious. 7 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/6/1114596.jpg)
![reddituser9871 . 5y ago I told my student on fire drills if we don't get out fast enough the principal would give us a 5 hour out of school seminar on safety 31 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/0/1114600.jpg)
![xxxMarlboroughxxx 5y ago In Elementary school, there were problems with kids on the buses opening windows and sticking their hands out as the buses were moving. our Vice Principal gathered all the kindergarteners into the auditorium and told us a story about how a girl stuck her hand out of a bus window to wave to someone; she told us the bus drove past a stop sign, the girls arm hit it and got cut off. I doubt it was a true story, but it scared the hell out of every six year old in the auditorium. 25 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/4/1114594.jpg)
![Cruush_Halochek . 5y ago Teacher here. I have a ton of stories, but the one that comes first to mind is the escalator incident. I hate untied shoes, see, and I have told more than one sloppily-shod student that it's because I once saw a guy lose his leg to the exit teeth of an escalator because his shoes were untied. 13 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/7/1114597.jpg)
![Free_spirit1022 5y ago When my students were throwing sandballs at each others faces, I told them the reason I wear glasses was because a kid threw sand in my eyes and now I need glasses for the rest of my life. 7 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/5/1114595.jpg)
![fakesmile99 5y ago As a science teacher, I make up all kinds of shit that could happen when you mess with the chemicals ranging from going blind to amputating bits of your body off. Deadpan delivery. Eye contact that goes on for way too long. 8 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/3/1114593.jpg)
![AquaHills 5y ago A co-worker of mine who teaches microbiology (college) tells her students that she will put their phones in the autoclave to be sterilized if she sees them out in class, for safety. She swears every semester that she actually did it to a student a few semesters ago. It's a lie but it works and the rumor has been passed around as truth. It keeps the students safe so we all also swear to it's truth if asked about it too. 59 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/2/1114592.jpg)
![5y ago Not a teacher but a camp counselor. For obvious reasons we hated letting the kids use glitter but the camp insisted on supplying it. We told the kids that one of the counselors was super allergic to glitter and that's why we couldn't use it. All whining about glitter stopped. 74 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/1/1114591.jpg)
![5y ago I came into a class halfway through the semester because the old teacher quit. Students were notoriously bad. So I told them I was a retired military drill sergeant, and I must have done a good acting job because after I yelled a couple times, those kids were quite obedient 63 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/0/1114590.jpg)
![0 5y ago My shop teacher told us girls to wear our hair in ponytails because some girl got her hair stuck in lathe machine and it ripped part of her scalp off. Not too sure how true that story is. 69 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/9/1114589.jpg)
![manicotaku e 5y ago As an ESL teacher overseas, of course I get kids learning about the middle finger and doing it in class. I tell them if they do that in America they'll get punched in the face or even shot. They actually get scared.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/8/1114588.jpg)
![moonprairie 5y ago Not a teacher, but you know when you get bored in class and have a mechanical pencil and start pushing all the lead out? I had a teacher in the 7th grade tell everyone not to do that, then proceeded to tell us this horrific story about a student he had years ago that pierced his eye with the lead when his hand slipped. Не convinced us all this kid had a piece of pencil lead sticking straight out of his eye the entire school year. 219 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/6/1114586.jpg)
![MuddyWalruss 5y ago I'm not a teacher but multiple of my teachers told me the same story about swinging back on chairs after i would do it: They once had a kid 10+ years ago that swung back on their chair and split their head open and had to go to hospital. I know it's fake because they literally told me they say that to kids to get them to stop swinging on their chairs. I've heard that other teachers do this as well. 349 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/5/1114585.jpg)
![amscraylane 5y ago I cut my finger off when I was 4. I am constantly using it to pass my agenda. Don't slam doors, you could lose a finger Watch where you're cutting, you could lose a finger You have to wear gloves, you could get frostbite and lose a finger Except when you can't even remember what story too told whom and they all are telling you the different versions. 189 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/7/1114587.jpg)
![5y ago I tell the kids to be careful around the Bunsen Burner because I taught a class once where a kid bumped one over and it caused the classroom to catch on fire. I didn't teach the class with the Bunsen Burner accident because I was the student that caused the Bunsen Burner accident. Also I exaggerated because I only lit the curtains on fire not the whole classroom. We didn't even evacuate, the teacher put it out so quickly. I hope one day if any of my students become teachers it will become the science teacher equivalent](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/2/1114582.jpg)
![ladyludgate 5y ago I teach at a pre-k daycare and had one little boy who was constantly hitting, biting, and whacking at other kids - especially the girls. So we told him that boys who hit girls go to jail. I said that another little boy was arrested for hitting girls a few weeks ago and we have to visit him in jail now. Little dude's hitting has ~magically stopped. 200 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/4/1114584.jpg)
![5y ago My first year of teaching I sold my entire class on the idea that my identical twin (also a teacher) would sometimes switch classes for the day. It challenged them to really pay attention and they loved coming up with theories (maybe one of us always wore pants? Maybe that new haircut means it is actually my twin?). The kicker- I don't have a twin at all. 1.4K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/0/1114580.jpg)
![roddomusprime 5y ago I have said this before in other threads. I teach 2nd grade. I tell my students every year that I can tell if they are lying by looking at their tongue. Then when a kid lies they won't stick out their tongues. I catch a kid in a pretty obvious lie at the beginning of the year to prove my point. It has worked for 8 years now. 3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/1/1114581.jpg)
![. 11y ago On a school trip , the coach driver took a wrong turn and went through a red light district. A teacher called oh no I've dropped euros on the floor, who'd re finds them gets a reward! To get all the kids looking on the floor and not at the naughty ladies outside. 587 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/7/9/1114579.jpg)
![ThislsYourProfessor 11y ago I once told a student that I the lab we were in had a program that allowed me to view his screen from my computer. While this technology exists in some labs, our lab didn't have it at the time. Got the kid to stop going on Facebook, though. 246 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/3/1114583.jpg)
![honeybeebutch 5y ago Not a teacher, but a camp counselor. I helped lead archery instruction sometimes, and I have a little round scar, smaller than a dime, on my torso. When I told them about range safety (shooting only when told, not pointing your bow at others, and not shooting when there's someone on the range), I showed them my scar and said that I got shot once last year when I was collecting arrows and someone shot down the range anyway. I actually got the scar from frying tofu without a shirt on. 4.3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/7/7/1114577.jpg)
![White_Wolf_Dreamer 5y ago There was a rumor the teachers started years ago at my town's high school about a ghost that lived in the school's basement. Basically, they wanted kids to quit trying to sneak down there. 4 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/7/8/1114578.jpg)