25 of the Funniest Times Teachers Roasted Students

‘Anything for your mother, mate’
25 of the Funniest Times Teachers Roasted Students

Teachers have to deal with dumb parents, being underpaid and getting pranked by students, so it makes sense that at least a few of them would end up snapping and verbally roasting a child. Some kids just won’t take you seriously until you stoop to their level, and while it’s not generally advisable, it can occasionally pay off. 

So when Reddit’s most brutal educators revealed the times they burned a student within an inch of their lives, we couldn’t help but applaud and share these burns with you. After all, it’s good to know that they’re educating their students in the ways of humor, too.

TraximusW 5y ago Teacher (my mother): Please sit down, the lesson has started Student: You can't tell me that, I'm not a dog Teacher: I know you're not a dog, because a dog is able to do that simple command she is still proud about that one and tells it at family gatherings 3.3K Share ...
Bsnman14 5y ago After announcing the upcoming quiz for the umpteenth time.... Student: Wait! What? You can't spring a test on us with one day notice! Me: I've been announcing it daily for two weeks. Student: I never heard it. Me: It's ok. I only wake you up for the really important announcements. Class roared. 427 Share ...
Divinixm 5y ago The other day another teacher came into our class who has a bald head and he just got it waxed or something and my mate says Fresh polish sir? and the teacher fires back with Anything for your mother mate. Class went ape shit 3.9K Share ...
Digger-of-Tunnels 5y ago I didn't intend it as a roast, but I got a long serious look and a pause when I told a student, You're smart enough to be President, but with your manners, you're going to get fired from McDonalds instead. 438 Share ...
AnnieBannieFoFannie 5y ago I had a really fun teacher everyone liked, and when students were talking about their various weekend exploits, he'd stare at them and then go Has anyone ever told you that you're an idiot? I'm not.calling you one, but has anyone ever told you that? 804 Share ...
 5y ago Back in high school I was in an all boys PE class. Our coach was a brute, former NY Jets tight end. We were warming up for the day and during crunches, while coach was walking around he tells us, I can see some of your balls, to bad no girl here will. 33 Share ...
The_Raghav_Agarwal . 5y ago While explaining how reproduction works, one of my students was making gnarly comments so i said Dont worry, you wont be getting any.. Share 1K ...
msrali 5y ago I started teaching at 22. I had a 20 year old in my grade 11 class that first year. One day, in front of the class, he told me that I wasn't out of his league. My reply: oh yeah, spell league. Share 36 ...
Daisy242424 5y ago I had a kid picking on the religious girl in class, asking her all sorts of tricky theological questions just so he could catch her out or something. When he asked Does hell exist? I said Yes, it does. It's here, in the classroom, with you. Share 752 ...
224sins 5y ago In 8th grade, we had a mock Constitutional Convention and we were each assigned a real person to portray. The class clown was assigned Benjamin Franklin. When questioned on her decision, my teacher's response was I tried to think of who would be perfect for the role and no- one came to mind. Then I thought of who would be the worst possible reincarnation of Ben Franklin... and here we are. 317 Share ...
Trayohw220 5y ago There was a kid in my grade who was a douche, but really wanted to get into politics. His math teacher told him, The only thing you'll ever he president of is the local Fish and Game club. 22 Share ...
Schmabadoop 5y ago My mother teaches sixth grade. One time she was talking about her weekend and said that she had gone to the beach with her husband and the dogs. Jabroni kid said yeah, the only way you could get a date is with a dog. Better than you. Class lost its mind and the kid didn't give her a problem the rest of the year. 31 Share ...
MonkeyUranium 5y ago My dad was an English teacher on the west side of Chicago in the 80s. They were reading Moby Dick and some kid in the back of the classroom yelled MY dick and my dad responded with, were talking about long novels not short stories 14 Share ...
CommonwealthCommando 5y ago I taught at a very religious high school. One student (who was very irreligious) said that everyone at this school thinks all teenage boys do is smoke weed, watch porn, and snort crack all day! And I replied David, that's nonsense. I don't think you snort crack. Не took at as a compliment until a couple other students cracked up laughing. Once everyone caught on, the whole room was in stitches. 18 Share ...
fallspy 5y ago Once I was explaining something to the class and this one kid who is always criticizing me said what are the chances of that though and at that point I had enough so I said what are the chances of you getting a girlfriend.The whole class went crazy. 10 Share ...
Bluedystopia e 6y ago Tom! Underneath that table, you're either playing with your phone or playing with yourself. I don't want you doing either in my class, so whichever one it is, put it away! 186 Share ...
 в 5y ago Teacher tells class about a quiz today, student speaks up and says he can't take the quiz today because he is sexually exhausted. The teacher told him to use the other hand. Share 6 ...
D Amiar00 5y ago I was subbing and a kid says: Mr. Amiar00, do you have a girlfriend? I replied No I don't. Не replies What are you gay or something? with a smile on his face looking to his peers for approval. I ask Why? Are you interested? The whole class lost it. 6 Share ...
5_on_the_floor 6y ago In ninth grade, I was sitting behind a friend and for some reason, I thought it was funny to tap my pencil on the back of his desk. Не raised his hand and said, Ms. Teacher, 5_on_the_floor is disturbing me. Without missing a beat, she said, You were disturbed long before you met 5_on_the_floor. Share 105 ...
WendylsCass 5y ago Edited 5y ago malares I had two eighth grade girls acting like absolute fools in class. I asked them to calm down and behave more appropriately. Girl #1: she's always good, her name is Angel! She can't be bad with a name like that! Me: your last name is Smart. Girl #1 looks confused, rest of the class laughs. It took forever to get them back on task 9 Share ...
Darth_Anxious 6y ago I kinda got roasted by my Spanish teacher. I was telling a joke to one of my friends and my teacher said something like Darth_Anxious, pay attention! Your grades tell me that you aren't smart enough to not be paying attention, and that joke tells me you're not funny enough to be considering a career in comedy. 32 Share ...
joe1up в 6y ago Kid: I'm great at physics, I know all the formulas Teacher: can you give me the formula for getting your homework in on time? 33 Share ...
werice225 в 6y ago I don't understand this I bet that happens a lot 4 Share ...
C_D2 . 5y ago Classmates try to be funny by moaning loudly. Teacher, back towards us calmly says: Please don't replicate the noises you hear at home. 4 Share ...
sherbarney 5y ago I had a student ask me if I was his favorite. I told him he was my second favorite. When he predictably asked who my favorite was, I told him everyone else was tied. 6 Share ...

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