35 of the Wildest Things Done by Sleepwalkers

‘Smacked my fiancée on the head to see if she was real’
35 of the Wildest Things Done by Sleepwalkers

Sleepwalkers have the strange ability to experience life with a half-awake mind. And while, yeah, they’d likely rid themselves of the affliction if they were given the option, the things they get into at night make for great daytime stories. One guy, for example, watched as his girlfriend stood naked in the kitchen and ate an entire block of cheddar cheese. Another guy made stuffing and cooked an entire turkey — all while totally asleep. 

Redditors rubbed the sleep from their eyes and recalled the funniest, weirdest or most dangerous things they did as they sleepwalked, and some of them are more productive when half-asleep than fully awake.

 7y ago About two nights ago. Got home from work tired. Made bed, went to sleep. Woke up an hour later, 4am. I am wearing these pants from Guatemala that do not fit, I am shirtless, there is a trail of old unused socks leading to my bed from the drawer. I must have taken off my shirt, put on the pants, and probably tried to put on some socks. 232 ...
Emulocks . 7y ago I cleaned, sorted, and rearranged my best friend's fridge so that I could fit her dog's 25lb bag of food inside. 598 ...
bimmerbaby 7y ago When I was about 12, my mother found me kneeling at the bottom of the stairs in our house, elbows rested on the stairs, praying. I'd managed to walk down a flight of stairs, fast asleep and get into a prayer position and was muttering under my breath. Oddly though, we're not a religious family and have never really said prayers at all. 1.2K ...
Phantom1thrd 7y ago . Edited 7y ago Cooked myself some food at 3 am. Even made a pitcher of lemonade from powdered mix. I was a preteen at the time. My mom came out to find me plating my meal, tried to ask me what I was doing, realized I was sleep walking, guided me to bed after I'd eaten. Told me the story the next day. 1.6K ...
StickleyMan 11y ago My roommate once found me standing in front of the fridge, freezer door open, gnawing on a frozen bagel. When he asked me what I was doing, I told him to mind his fucking business and go back to Peru. He's never even been to Peru. 562 ...
 . 11y ago Stuck all my flip flops in-between books on my bookshelf. 78 ...
Gem_In_Eye 11y ago My buddy sleepwalks, when we were roommates I found him sleeping next to a half eaten steak one morning. He's a vegetarian. 350 ...
MarshmallowRabbit 11y ago & My boyfriend tends to sleepwalk/sleeptalk. One night I was abruptly awoken by being squeezed repeatedly around my waist. This wasn't some cute hug thing; oh no. Не had propped me up into a sitting position and was squeezing me so hard it knocked the air out of me. Не kept repeating, You're choking! You're choking! Once he calmed down (and woke up) we realized that he had been trying to give me the heimlich maneuver. On another occasion I got to listen to him having a conversation with himself as follows: Mayday! Mayday! Come in ambulance,
legreatescape 12y ago A mate told me this one last night about some girl that he knows: She got up in the middle of the night and got a chocolate biscuit out of the packet. Then she held it up to the light until the chocolate had melted, stuck the melty chocolate side of the biscuit firmly to her sleeping sister's forehead and went back to bed. All while completely asleep. 90 ...
Sillbinger 7y ago Stood on top of the counter in the kitchen and pissed on my mother as she tried to stop me pissing on the floor. It happened a few other times, but she stood back and didn't try to stop me after the first time.
Fluffledoodle 7y ago I took ambien for a time to help with my insomnia. My ex found me eating a stick of butter in the middle of the night like a candy bar, paper and all. Turns out, I'd do a lot of gross sleep eating and it explained my sudden weight gain. I ate jam by the handful, I hate jam... I swallowed mayo right out if the jar.... We also think I ate the used vegetable oil out of the recycling can. I don't use sleep aids anymore. 384 ...
essyca 11y ago As a witness to sleepwalking, I have seen some weird shit. When I was 10 me and my friend were camping out in the living room when we saw her naked dad walk to the dining room, lift up the table and piss. 212 ...
Shittypasswordmemory 7y ago When I was a kid I used to leap down the short flight of stairs from my room to the living room for fun (while awake). Well, one night I woke up mid jump. 2.7K ...
 7y ago Toss up between smacking my fiancee on the head to see if she were real, or jogging nude. 1.2K ...
TbhldekMyName 7y ago I was sleeping in a bed with my grandmother (I was spending the week with her, she's amazing, it was like a slumber party so don't make it sexual) I sat straight up in the middle of the night. I woke her up to say, There's somebody in the house. She figured I was asleep still, so she guided me through each room of the house to prove to me that it was empty. I have no memory of any of this. 499 ...
matham48 7y ago My dad went to pickup Chinese takeout, we all had dinner (him included). Не got up the next morning and was very annoyed that we all had Chinese and no one woke him up to come have some. 107 ...
mrcoldplay 7y ago Went outside and invited someone (god knows who) in. When i woke up, my laptop and wallet were gone, almost had a heart attack when my neighbor said: i thought she was your friend. 170 ...
fms10 0 7y ago I cleaned the house once. I wish I could do that all the time. It would be like having an invisible maid. 86 ...
EpicShelter . 7y ago I went for a shower once. Woke up all confused at 4am wondering why I was naked and why my bed was soaking. 67 ...
electricaldogbus 3y ago Drove to work in my sleep. The night shift crew at the group home I worked at were like, why are you here at two in the morning? I don't know how I didn't wreck. 14 ...
mataharis 3y ago My sister used to work long hours at a retail store, on multiple nights she'd wake up freezing and see all of her blankets and sheets neatly folded on the shelf across the room. I thought it was absolutely hilarious but the poor girl was definitely working too hard. 38 ...
 3y ago My little brother used to sleep walk really badly. One night we had to cops knock on our door at about 3am. My 9 year old brother had walked into the neighbors house and started taking a shower. Luckily the neighbors had a laugh about it, but my parents had to add a door to the hallway that was kept locked at night so he couldn't leave the house. 45 ...
billbaperky 3y ago I tried to program my girlfriend's stomach. She asked what I was doing when it woke her up and she said I responded, Shut up, I've almost got all the bugs out. 78 ...
ppppie_ 3y ago i literally got out of bed, walked down the stairs and ate a banana and then choked on it, then woke up with banana peel on the floor and slipped on it 87 ...
failed_asian 11y ago Told my sister I was going to kill her and then repeatedly recited my phone number backwards. I don't think I could even do that while awake. The phone number thing. 230 ...
Mrtickler 11y ago When i was younger, my brother woke up to me laughing at tv static. 25 ...
asnof 11y ago I was sleeping with my now GF and am not used to sleeping in the same bed with someone. Well she told me a few days later I woke up and got out of bed and was spinning in circles. She asked me what happened and I was bitten by a spider I said. Then I curled up in bed and went back to sleep 43 ...
StopSquark 11y ago My roommate often tells the story of the time he kicked open his parents' bedroom door around 3 AM and yelled I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING BATMAN!. Woke up a few seconds later. 23 ...
AnotherDayLef... 11y ago Edited 11y ago I went to bed in a white shirt and black gym shorts with plaid boxers... Woke up with a black shirt, tetris boxers, and no pants. My mother got up for work and accused me of getting black out drunk by myself.
untapped-bEnergy 7y ago Stuffed and cooked a turkey, woke up sitting at the kitchen table when it was almost done cooking. My roommate woke up at 3am and i was basting it, he was pissed because it was his turkey and realized when he was talking to me that I was asleep so he just stayed up and made sure I didn't burn the house down. Не showed me videos he took after I woke up and he laughed that my stuffing and the turkey tasted better than what he would've made lol 982 ...
long_lost_foreskin e 5y ago My sister took my mom, (My mom is the sleepwalker) all the way to a gas station. My mom gave my sister money to buy a butter finger and my mom has no memory of it. 4 ...
 7y ago My GF ate a large block of sharp cheddar stark naked. It was awesome. 818 ...
john_dune 7y ago I had laundry that i had finished but I was too tired and lazy to bring it up to put it away for the night. So I woke up, and came downstairs sleepwalking... folded up all my laundry nice and neat and put it away properly in my fridge. 223 ...
 7y ago My girlfriend woke up to me standing in the doorway, asking her if she saw the man in purple and pointing at the area at the end of the bed.
707RiverRat 7y ago I once woke my grandparents during a visit for Thanksgiving by kicking their bedroom door open and screaming I HAVE ALL THIS RAVIOLI AND NO WHERE TO FUCKING PUT IT! I was butt-naked at the time and I'm pretty sure that's the first time my grandparents heard me swear as well. 2.3K ...

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