26 Funny Accidental Insults

‘You used to be really smart!’
26 Funny Accidental Insults

There’s nothing like being on the receiving end of a comment that morphs into an insult and lodges itself in your brain until the day you die. If you think I’m being dramatic, imagine this: One Redditor was a nude model for a painting class, and a student was having trouble capturing her likeness. When she asked for help, the instructor responded, “Well, she has an unremarkable, normal face with no strong features, which is difficult to draw.” While the student was likely comforted by these words, the subject certainly was not, and had to sit there naked and unmoving for the rest of the class with those accidental insults ringing in her head. 

To that end, other Redditors have dislodged the accidental insults that made them die inside, and honestly, I’m not sure that all of these were, in fact, accidental. 

magicmikejones в 2y ago My dad was a smoker most of his life. When I was around 4, I didn't want to imagine my Dad as an old man, so I told him keep smoking so you can die young. 12K Share ...
The_Muznick 2y ago I had a friend who had another group of friends who were all having babies, and a lot of them had what she called ugly babies. She commented all of my friends that look good are having ugly babies. I said well fuck you too and her response was what? your kid is adorable! she then paused to realize there was no backing out of the corner she put herself in. We had a good laugh about it since I had accepted my status as unattractive long before she confirmed it. 478 Share ...
Orinlu 2y ago . Edited 2y ago One time after a girl dumped me in high school, one of my close teacher friends said; You're the kind of guy a girl wants to meet in her 30s, not now when they want to be crazy. Thanks Miss H, l'll never forget that one.
Spacewaster94 0 2y ago g Edited 2y ago I recently got a very bright, very obnoxious Рас- Man hoodie, it is without a doubt the loudest thing I own. As I was heading out the door for work, my 3 year old told me remember dad, if people laugh at you, you can always take your sweatshirt off! The best part is he was genuinely just trying to give me some supportive advice. Не just accidently gave me the best burn I've received in years
memeking_69 e 2y ago You look like you own ferrets I don't even know what that means but it was 4 years ago Hailey and I still remember 6.3K Share ...
 2y ago When i proposed to my wife she said I guess I can't say no But she meant to say how can I say no She also had a panic attack the first time we kissed... 5.5K Share ...
blimpcitybbq 2y ago Kids are the best for this. Daddy, why don't you use your weights any more? Is it because you got fat? 16K Share ...
whitebabyjesus : 2y ago Had a guy tell me I looked like a cult leader, which I didn't really take kindly. Не also did not respond well when I told him he looked like a cult follower. Share 2.1K ...
angerilla . 2y ago A good friend's girlfriend told me, I love how not girly you are and how you don't care about how you look! I think she genuinely meant it as a compliment, but both of those things were news to me... 11K Share ...
ExcellentFormal4261 2y ago You're pregnant?! No Are you sure? Never wore that dress again. 1.3K Share ...
AlericandAmadeus 2y ago Edited 2y ago Childhood friend from school turned coworker. Yeah you used to be really smart! I had dropped out of college and we were working as bartenders at a restaurant, were taking about plans for the coming year or two and I had mentioned trying to get a new job/go back to school. I died a little/a lot. They were trying to be supportive, and were immediately horrified and apologized but yeah. 1.2K Share ...
kettleofhawks 2y ago I did nude figure modeling for painting classes for extra cash in college about 15 years ago - one of the students was having trouble capturing my likeness and called the teacher over for help. The teacher: well - she has an unremarkable, normal face with no strong features, which is much more difficult to paint... I mean, they're not wrong from a painting point of view - but nothing like quietly dying inside, fully naked with an audience. 2K Share ...
Baphee 2y ago When I was a teen, my dad told me he heard of an athlete who wrote a book about how he used to be bullied when he was young, how he was the school's loser and had no friends... Exactly like you, my dad added. What a way to advertise a book to me, thanks dad! 1.9K Share ... + More replies
FunnyNameHere02 2y ago I started getting asked if I qualified for a senior discount in my 40s... 25K Share ... + More replies
sassycomeback 2y ago In middle school the girl I had a crush on said I looked like a falcon. Never quite figured out how to take that one 9.1K Share ... + More replies
Kayakityak 2y ago After being accused of dying my hair, a friend said I clearly don't dye my hair as nobody would choose shit colored hair. I said -thank you- loudly, then after a beat said - wait, what?- 8.7K Share ...
skky95 . 2y ago Someone picked me up at a bar and said, oh my you are dense! And then immediately put me down. Share 693 ...
ph3m3 . 2y ago My kid told me they wanted to be ordinary like me when they grew up 14K Share ...
Bosto13 2y ago Coworker: What do you drive? Me: A Jetta Coworker: Yeah- you look like you drive a Jetta 4.3K Share ...
МЕЕЕЗЕЕЕР 2y ago When I was 25 I had bought a house in a suburb of a major city. One of my neighbors was elderly and came over to welcome me to the neighborhood. She asked if my wife lived with me and I just stated I lived alone. She goes oh yeah the person that lived here before was a lonely guy too. Fucking ouch, Elizabeth 13K Share ...
hippolingerie 2y ago I'm a quiet man and I was an even quieter kid. I got invited over to some kids house to play. Another kid there said that they only invited me over because they felt bad for me. Не said it with no malice, in passing. I'm 33 now and it still stings. Share 11K ...
mikemojc 2y ago When studying martial arts I had an instructor try to teach my why a particular feint never worked for me. In order for that feint to work, you opponent must first respect your ability to complete the strike. Everyone here knows your abilities, so they don't fall for it. It was factually and technically accurate, and I understand what he was telling me. But, after thinking about it for not very long, I realized what sick burn it was. 19K Share ...
 2y ago One time a girl i really disliked (we never had a fight or anything like that, i just really found her to be annoying and dumb) said we were similar in personality. 9.2K Share ...
BetaOscarBeta 2y ago Come work for me, son. l'll pay you more than you're worth! Proceeds to pay $36k per year 6.7K Share ...
Ellemenopeepee 2y ago Working at a new job How old are you? How old do I look? I don't know, 45? I was 27 at the time.... Share 4.8K ...
the_ricktacular_mort 2y ago I was on a camping trip with friends (in high school) and we decided to play a game around the campfire where we each complimented something we found physically attractive about the person on the other side of the circle. My friend's hot slightly older sister said that I had a nice personality (she didn't know me) 1.3K Share ...

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