34 Funny, But Confusing Insults

‘Boy you look like a raw banana’
34 Funny, But Confusing Insults

Everyone knows that the best burns are incredibly precise. But confusing insults can be equally effective, throwing the target off-kilter for long enough that they can’t come up with a retort because they’re still processing what you said to them. For instance: One Redditor was in the middle of a brawl when somebody said, “I’mma slice your biscuits,” which naturally made them think “What the hell?” And while that’s more of a threat than an insult, the resulting bewilderment is more or less the same. There’s obviously a certain amount of implied violence, but it’s hard to know to what end, exactly. 

Other Redditors have chimed in with confusing insults people threw their way, and if it’s possible, we need someone to explain the pig’s back one.

Cullvion . 8y Imma slice your biscuits It certainly wasn't to me, but I heard it during a fight and just... what? ... 3.1k
 . 8y Your limp makes you look like a horny pirate.
onetwo3four5 . 8y Once I found myself in a bidding war over a used car. After I won, the other bidder called to me as I was leaving hey you, in the yellow shirt. You're stupid, that's why you're wearing glasses ... 6k
 . 8y I was once called a Bonus Level. As in fuck off you fucking bonus level. Im still dumbfounded by it. ... 2.1k
Polymarchos . 8y Someone once yelled Learn to drive at me, while I was learning to drive in a marked student car. ... 8.7k
 . 8y I got into a verbal altercation in the checkout line at Walmart. The guy looked into my cart, spotted a box of laundry detergent, and said, You probably wash your clothes at a laundromat! ... 3.4k
D_B_R . 8 8y Nice glasses, mate! (Не was drunk and aggressive. But I wasn't wearing any) ... 3.3k
Germanweirdo . 8y If i was gay, i i wouldn't even be able to suck your dick! Thanks? ... 2.5k
 . 8y I wouldn't pay a million dollars to suck your dick! Why would you? Is that a possible source of income for me? ... 5.3k
 . 8y I woke up earlier today, sat on the couch and out of the blue, my mom says: Just because you're ashamed of your Southern heritage don't mean I am. That was all. ... 865
LOOK_AT_MY_POT. 8y Kid in my 10th grade class told me I looked like a sexy baby. 20 years later I'm still not exactly sure if I should have been offended, or flattered. ... 3.4k
gingins94 . 8y 'If you look at your facial features in isolation, nobody would want them, but all together, they work really nicely' Thanks!... wait... that's not... what? ... 450
NotTooDeep . . 8y You move like a sack full of dead assholes. ... 601
holytriplem . 8y You coward ferret, do you know that asexuality is a special type of schizophrenia? You require a special kind of therapy, and it's called love! ... 2k
HalfRackOfRibs . 8y You are a vending machine of lies! ... 6.3k
Rroyalty 8y Why don't you go chop some wood. (I have a big beard.) EDIT: I'll give you some context too, it wasn't a friendly situation. I called an uber at around 2 in the morning to head home from the bars in Boston. Fares were up to like 2.5x so it was going to be about a $45 ride. My uber shows up and these three dicks go try to climb in, but I saw it happening. I ran outside and almost got into a fight with them, insults were thrown around, two of my friends had to stand
SaucyltalianSub . a 8y A buddy of mine was in an argument with a kid from school and at the end just shouted I WILL PISS IN YOUR HOUSE and walked away. Still have no idea if he meant in a toilet or a random location but it's safe to safe he won the argument. ... 1.1k
D & D R T E C Pizza-Daddy . 8y Look at you, standing there with your elbow halfway up your arm and your teeth in your mouth ... 6.6k
 . 8y I was given the nickname Goodyear from some kid in middle school, and I never understood why. Не would always say,  goes to Goodyear to get his good parts. I still don't get it ... 1.5k
PrincessPessimist . 8y I've been called a Princess Bitch by a homeless man who was trying to get my attention. I kind of love the name. ... 479
i_teach . : 8y I had a student tell me to get a spouse in a derogatory tone. ... 5.3k
leagueofuchiha . 8y Growing up in a greek household, my grandma used to say some fucked up shit to me lol, eg: I will drain your blood and fill your veins with goats blood Im gonna break you, fix you, then break you again If you dont stop bugging your brother il cut your hand off and feed it to your parents ... Apparently these are normal greek grandma things ... 4.9k
 . 8y Someone yelled, Nice bike, asshole! from a passing car. I was walking. ... 46
molten_dragon . 8y A friend of my grandpa's, who is from New Zealand once told me You're looking the pig's back today. The way he said it seemed like a friendly sort of insult, but I have no clue what it meant, or even if it really was an insult. ... 317
TheHoliestMacaroni . 8y It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork. ... 3.5k
IceBlayze . . 8y Me: The A in my name stands for Awesome. Girl that hates me: No the A stands for Idiot! ... 3.8k
whatsthatpidge . . 8y My grandpa who was a self proclaimed Bohunk used to yell at us kids, You're full of blue mud! No idea what that means. 354
starryduchess . . 8y When I was an exotic dancer I once had a man throw a five at me (he balled it up and it bounced off my torso) and say don't make your ass look stupid before he stood up and walked out.
tikitessie . 8y I am a white American lady. In high school, another very white dude interrupted me during a conversation to yell OH MY GOD YOU'RE so WHITE. Не was really into anime so maybe he was in denial about his whiteness, but... I didn't know how to respond.
CaniBeSerious . 8y You're a fucking spoon Said to me by a 28 year old chef who was ranting about me stacking dirty plates incorrectly Spoiler - I'm not a spoon ... 1.5k
rakshala . 8y I am at a stoplight downtown. I am driving my Saturn. An older gentleman pedestrian screams at me through my open window, Buy an American car you traitor! There was a long pause before I quietly said... This is an American car.... and the light turned green. ... 4.4k
nicho5676322 . 8y Boy you look like a raw banana ... 47
 . 8y I'm just a regular Indian you Christopher Columbus mother fucker. Context: drive thru operator at Burger King told my Native American friend to hang on chief, I'll be right with ya. ... 1.3k
 . 8y I was walking through town late at night looking alright in a dress when this really pissed guy started walking alongside me, asking me my name and really persistently wanting me to go somewhere with him. Hard to believe, I know, but I turned down this weird offer and picked up speed a bit to get to my bus. Cue bloke shouting Oi! You've got a bum just like my nan's!' To my hastily retreating back. What the hell? ... 688


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