24 of the Funniest Things People Did Out of Anger

24 of the Funniest Things People Did Out of Anger

If someone angrily screams “I wouldn’t give you a $1.75 if you were starving on a boat!” you should finish laughing and then be very afraid of that person. First of all, they’re not even rounding up to $2. They’re stuck on the paltry sum of $1.75, which really isn’t worth anything these days, and insisting they still wouldn’t give it to you. On top of that, they’ve created the mental image of you starving on a boat, which means they really don’t give a shit about you. They’re basically telling you to crawl to hell and die there, but in a much more original, cutting way. 

To that end, Redditors have cracked up and recalled the funniest things they’ve witnessed people say or do in a fit of anger, and some of these are so creative you might want to add them to your repertoire.

DevoALMIGHTY . 14y My late granddad once told me he'd beat me til I shit my pants, and then beat me for shitting in them. ... 15
NON Jesters . 11y My brother was killed by a frost troll in Skyrim and he got so mad that he took the game out, bit it in half, and chewed it. We had to take him to the hospital because his mouth was all bloody and his teeth were messed up. It was hilarious. ... 1.6k
mrhorrible . 14y When I was really little, like two or three years old, I didn't like taking baths. My parents didn't swear, and I didn't even know the concept of it. Still though, once my Dad was making me take a bath, and I was angry and yelling at him. I remember I called him a helicopter in my anger. It's a weird kind of proto-swear. To call someone something they aren't. Funny though, looking back on it. ... 94
latent . . 14y I wouldn't give you $1.75 if you were starving on a boat! - My little sister I can't remember what she was pissed about, and no one ever knew what the boat had to do with anything. ... 17
penkfiddle. 14y My dad, in a fit of rage while playing a family board game because my brother cheated, threw all of the game pieces off of the table and screamed at my brother YOU ARE THE LIMELIGHT OF DESTRUCTION. real weirdo my dad is. ... 38
Botswanit_Upon_It - 1 11y Don't even know what caused it, but I was playing Halo 3 with a friend of mine who is relatively well known for his anger issues. Someone killed him (or the match ended and we had lost or something) and over the headset, I heard аааааАААHHHHHHH followed by a mmmyoink as he literally bit through the cord to his mic. ... 1.1k
robotrevolution . 14y Driving in a car with some friends, accidentally cut this guy off (because he was driving like a maniac). Me and my friend in the backseat both give him the finger simultaneously. Road rage ensues with him shouting: Do you know where you are?!? I WILL FUCK YOU! We were in Gary, Indiana, where they will apparently fuck you. ... 136
Sir_Fapalot . 14y a buddy of mine got pissed playing disc golf. he exclaimed, Balls in a hat! Tits! Tits! It was genius. ... 75
IsHomestuckAnAnime . 11y My younger sister was playing the wii and couldn't beat some part of twilight princess, she tried again and again and again before she stood up, let loose a barbarian war- scream and threw the wii-mote at the ground, shattering it. She then literally grabbed the wii console and cracked it against the coffee table, permanently jamming the disc inside. She realized what she had done and freaked out, running out the door. This all would have been hilarious if it had been her wii, not mine. ... 289
laffmakr . 14y I heard my 80 year old grandmother yelling at her neighbor to go piss up a rope. ... 72
Detuned . 14y When my brother was very young he threw tantrums in public all the time. In the midst of a particularly obnoxious screaming and crying match he became quiet. Не looked at my mother and said I'm going to have daddy kill you. My mother, never missing a beat, replied calmly, Not if I kill you first. It was a silent car ride home. ... 53
bendynachos. 14y I once overheard a guy call another guy a shit-spackled muppet fart during an argument. I use it whenever I can now. ... 49
thefive0 . 1 11y My friend took Halo 2 out of his xbox and slammed it in his dresser drawer, causing it to shatter. Two days later he asked me if he could borrow my copy. ... 27
anthropology_nerd . 1 14y My parents didn't swear around us either. The best insults/swears a 3 and a 5 year old could come up with were calling each other punks and total strangers when we were mad. ... 31
hillard429 . 11y Keeping in mind that I'm a fairly petite woman, I was playing Bingo at our local fair. Most of the time I'm not super competitive, but the prizes were pretty great, you could even win cash. I was playing with a friend, who happened to be very wealthy. She won 4 rounds in a row, and over $75. As soon as she screamed BINGO after her 5th straight win, without saying a word, I stood up, flipped the table on it's side, and proceeded to walk home. I have never been so filled with rage as I
1799gwd . 1 11y I once was losing at monopoly and my sister was gloating like the power drunk tycoon only monopoly can produce...so I took the entire game board scooped it up and threw it outside while yelling anarchy wins!. 700
exigenesis . 14y I was in my friend's car once. Не was driving and my Mum happened to be in the back seat. Someone was tailgating us quite badly (driving very close behind) and he exclaimed WHY HAVE I GOT THIS FUCKING DICK UP MY ASS? :-) ... 209
sevvv . . 14y I was talking with this foreigner who had a loose grasp on english. I was suddenly aware something was lost in translation when he loudly ended the conversation with Fuck you guy...CHILD OF BITCH... what do you think about!? ... 47
krampus . 14y Large woman at gas station: I don't give a fuck!! Attendant for whom English is obviously a second language: I do not give it, either! ... 39
hydro123456 11y This happened on Magic the Gathering Online. I was playing an anything goes match against someone and I went first. I laid down 1 island and passed. My opponent then proceeded to have the most amazing first turn I've ever seen. Either he got the luckiest draw ever, or that set was incredibly broken, but he was essentially able to draw unlimited cards, and lay unlimited mana on his first turn. It was a complicated process and his turn took 20 minutes or more, just laying more and more mana. When he gets to about 30 mana, he
mybustersword . 11y Oh I have the perfect story for this- A few years back i was dating this girl who was, for lack of a better term, a huge bitch. I was young, i didn't know any better blah blah anyway she always had to put me down and be smarter, always had to be right, that kind of girl. Well she was in her dorm and I at home; we were playing a friendly game of Dominoes over the internet (i've never played before) and I beat her. I didn't rub it in, god knows I would never
themadtiger . 14y My mom owned a coffee shop in a kind of shitty part of town for many years, and one day some guy was harassing her at the front counter. I was ready to beat him with the robber stick (we kept a small aluminium bat under the counter) when my mom said You can take your attitude, and stick it in your ass!. after a short pause, she screamed with unnatural fury WITH A WIRE BRUSH!. Не left, quite humiliated. Good thing too, I was laughing to hard to swing the bat effectively. ... 39
 11y I was at a poker table in Vegas with my brother. Bill's Gamblin Hall - super casual 50¢/$1 hold em game. A large pot is maybe $80. My brother ends up heads up with this other guy, and wins with quad 9s. Turns out there was some sort of bonus at the casino: Win with quads or better, and your name is in a draw for extra cash that Sunday - gotta be playing to win it, though. We won't be in Vegas by then. Brother says Anyone at the table going to be here Sunday? The man he has just beaten
baronvonflapjack - 1 11y I was playing Settlers of Catan with some family members, and I forget why, but I wound up getting super close to winning, only to see it all fail at the last minute. So, I did what one normally does in this situation- slammed my cards down, yelled This is fucking bullshit, and stomped off. Only then to realize that among the group playing was my 6 year-old niece. ... 611


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