John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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34 Stories of Corporate Misery That Would Give Initech Employees a Run for Their Money

34 Stories of Corporate Misery That Would Give Initech Employees a Run for Their Money

Think you’re having a bad day at the office? Well, this list will jolt you right out of that piddly little “case of the Mondays.” Because we can pretty much guarantee that these people had a much, much worse workday than you.

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... TELL US NOW. Adam L. tells us, 30 minutes. I was training new guy in produce. I'm hands on with training, so I told him how to rotate produce, FIFO, while putting new product out. Supervisor didn't like the fact we were talking and fired new guy for talking to me. Not too long after I got fired too. CRACKED.COM

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Belgian comedy magazine Humo ran a 9/11 ad in 2004. - A - - - - - - - - Back when the site of the World Trade Center was still an empty lot called Ground Zero, Humo tried to milk comedy from the tragedy. Their ad showed pilots about to crash into the WTC because they were too busy reading Humo. CRACKED.COM

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Kraft's Crave brand is the frozen food for wannabe tough guys, apparently. In an ad, a spokesman brags that Crave is here to grab the frozen food aisle by the snowballs. Then he grabs two imaginary, uh, snowballs. Crave isn't just meat, it's bacon, he clarifies, with air quotes around meat. CRACKED COM

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... TELL US NOW. LAUGHING TOO MUCH Gayle В. says that they were told, Stop laughing. If you're laughing, you're not working. Then was told the next week, We need to talk about your attitude problem. CRACKED.COM

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... TELL US NOW. Pau V. shares, Teaching at an English academy, I was reprimanded that my 'clothes' were the cause for a male student (9-10 years old) who masturbated in class. I was asked to 'wear ugly clothes' to help with the problem. CRACKED.COM

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Forever 21 upset its customers by including Atkins diet bars in as F DENINI their plus-size orders. PROTEIN-RICH MEAL BAR 16G 3G 2G 12G 8 NET CARBS SUGAR FIBER PROTEIN CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER BAR ATKINS NATURALLY FLAVORED BAR NO ARTIFICIAL COLORS VALUE FLAVORS PRESERVATIVES PACK SAME GREAT TASTE - DIR MELCOMEN DA 8 2.12 OZ 160g BARS NET WT 16.9 OZ (480g) The popular clothing company claimed that they sent the product to everyone, across all sizes and categories. Forever 21 apologized for their tone-deafness and pulled the promotion. CRACKED COM

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Macy's decided to sell some plates by fat shaming moms. mam jeans favorite jeans mam jeans load cama odie favorite jeans skinny jeans The plates featured portion sizes described as jeans sizes, with the biggest portion size being called mom jeans. This didn't go over well, and Macy's removed the plates just hours after a picture of the plates went viral. CRACKED.COM

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In 2011, Timothy's World Coffee ran a campaign asking people to Like their Facebook page and receive four boxes of their single-serve coffee (which contains 24 packs in each box). WORLD Timothy's COFFEE Their stock of said boxes was depleted in just three days, and it took them more than two weeks to amend the terms that it would be on a first-come, first-served basis. CRACKED.COM

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Panic ensued when a Missouri movie theater hired fake agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., complete with fake weapons, to storm a screening of IRON MAN 3... CRACKED.COM less than a year after the theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado.

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John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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Published
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