50 Hilarious Tweets About Travel That Definitely Go the Distance

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50 Hilarious Tweets About Travel That Definitely Go the Distance

Every traveler has been there — after months of meticulous planning and mentally preparing to deal with the inevitable family drama, it’s finally time to embark on your trip home for the holidays. Slightly panicked about missing your flight, you decide to play it safe, leaving for the airport three hours before your scheduled takeoff. Yet after checking your bags, removing your shoes and explaining to the TSA agent that, no, your iPad isn’t a weapon of mass destruction, you arrive at your gate to make a harrowing discovery: You still have two and a half hours before boarding. 

Thankfully, there’s a better way to kill time than spending $40 on a combo meal at the nearest restaurant: connecting with your fellow man. So, from the mystery of your gate number to the joy of watching a movie through the crevice of airplane seats, here are some hilarious, painfully relatable tweets to help your flight fly by.

xXx_FALLS4U_xXx @pupOnSecurity -23h Amtrak cuck chair Amtrak @Amtrak 1d are you team couch or team seat? RAK AM EST MID 47 4.1K 76K 2.3M

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daphne @feyygele. 1d Amtrak pricing asks the radical question would you wait 5 minutes to save $80? Details i MON, NOV MON, NOV 60% Full R 27 27 137 7:24p 7:52p Oh 28m Coach Business From From $86 $ 106 Lowest Fare Details i MON, NOV MON, NOV 27 27 Oh 31m 655 7:29p 8:00p Coach From $4 62 1.1K 31K 1.1M

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7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000. 18h This is how Keira Knightley used to show up at the airport DIGGZY 20 847 22K 608K

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Saltydkdan @saltydkdan 1d ... I silently passed gas on my flight today and 2 seconds later the guy sitting next to me looked at me like this GIF ALT 266 10.4K 171K 3M

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Jamie @spacej_me 21h ... someone left their corn in the women's bathroom at Dulles International Airport 161 949 14.4K 2M

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birds arent real @dakleiner 1d my tesla robot after i tell him to take my drugs thru security for me GE TSA Pre- AL <2 MIN WAIT 14 memor Off Airport Valet - - 311 12K 150K 4M

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michael jordunk @eagleman42069.4h G G F E F E Economy® cabin d® Premium Plus Ready to eject Lynda? This action cannot be undone. Flight attendants will eject Lynda from the plane mid-flight. Don't worry, your arrival time will not be impacted. Eject Lynda $2,703.50 Lynda will be able to counter your ejection bid. View Terms 18 9.4K 188K 510

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dom @domluszczyszyn 1d once again, i i have fallen for life's biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes 476 4.9K 142K 2.7M

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Abi Slade @abi_slade 1d ... when a stranger on the train says to you is this the train to ' and you say i hope so and then you both laugh peak life moment 40 3,145 78.6K del 1.1M

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Melissa Perri @lissijean 4h Lady behind me on this @delta flight is complaining to the stewardess because they made her check her bag and there's a ton of room. Her husband to the stewardess: you know she went to college with the CEO of Delta Stewardess: You should have kept in touch. 438 2,911 64.5K 1.1M

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Mlick @Mlickles 23h Girl on the train complimented me and said I was funny, responded with thanks, it's all I have and the rest of the train gave me a worried look 245 8,227 189K 3.1M

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budum @TimAllenItalian 17h It's that easy The TSA guy said my toothpaste was too big And took it And I nodded solemnly and said the world's a safer place now And he laughed and gave it back 32 3,257 113K 1.2M

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chuck @crowcialist. 1d ... Something deeply sinister about in-flight WiFi. Violates the separation of powers between Land and Sky. Don't like it 28 2,289 44.2K del 718K

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Sophia Benoit @1followernodad 1d ... I'm at an airport with TSA signs that say that all electronics must be charged?!? Babe come on y'all are making things UP. 286 1,917 88.6K del 6.1M

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@ChefWaites 22h Big Hollywood ... My lowest point was boarding a flight in that group where they don't even say the number. They be like aiight the rest of yall стоп 101 1,025 5,889 276K

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Devon Hardware's Wife @thatf... 4d ... riding amtrak to north dakota, woman next to me in the observation car is reading the bible on her phone and eating grilled shrimp from a ziploc bag 12 30 1,522 29.3K

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anne @lildovzz 6h Moments before my plane doors closed this guy rushes on and goes I MADE IT BOYS and like 10 dudes scattered around the plane started cheering and he high fived them all as he went to his seat. Their boys weekend in Bozeman is about to be a feature film 11 397 17.3K 548K

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Stansaid Airport ... @StansaidAirport Fact: If you bind together the receipts of things you buy in an airport, it makes a tiny book that tells the tragic story of how you have no money anymore. 5:00 PM Sep 24, 2024 7,258 Views 17 24 276 2

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Anna Krauthamer @AnnaKrau... 21h ... me missing my flight to montreal bc i didn't know you needed a passport to go canada has become my 'mispronounced word' for my friends. whenever i'm about to do anything they go do you need a passport? it's not even a funny joke. and i must live with it for the rest of my life 39 67 2,595 96.5K

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© sh wn! @sshawnnnnnnnnnn- 22h ... by god she will be on a plane one way or Sqil another kam @sophiesfries.1 1d I'm crying why my flight stanning tay downnn 149 12.7K 236K 5.1M

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Nico @NicoOkapi 22h Got my new passport today and the USPS worker asked me so everything's still correct no name or.... other changes? APORTE USA I D 2 Da 2 En S P<USAWELTONK<KYLI 45 247 28K 505K

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@ reap domo @domojnr 13h no wifi on my flight so i remade twitter in my notes app ... Pilot @TheFlyingGuy489 1h it should be illegal to fly this drunk ... 45 0 2 53 8 9 domo @domojnr 20m Just seen a grandma with a BBL walk thru the aisle, the drakedemic has infected the elderly ... 13 770k 1.2m 10m 95 david @caucasianpersuasion 15m why did nobody else clap when the plane landed 17 102 1.1k 7.7k & 9 ... stupidbaby @wahh123 . 3 3h 166 7,075 73.1K 1.1M

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Sophia Benoit @1followernodad5h ... Surprising even myself with the gut reaction good for her! NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost 15h Southwest passengers baffled after woman climbs into overhead bin for nap trib.al/c7WYGXQ 8 13 262 16K

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Clara @colormeloverly- 1d i love the temporary camaraderie of a flight. like yes, stranger at the window seat, i i will take your biscoff wafer wrapper and toss it into the flight attendant's trash bag. for this brief moment in time we are in community and we will help each other as best we can. 1 227 4,728 76.6K

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Mr. Ain't Goin @Legendary_JT.4h ... Tells Follow @girlthatsTELL It's me missing my flight 9:11 PM 14 Jul 22 2 Likes Tells @girlthatsTELL.23h Unpopular opinion: you don't need to be at nobodies airport 2 hours before your flight 84 1,333 5,299 177K

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Lorna Rose Treen @lornlornlors.1 10 ... A girl behind me at passport control just said I hope they don't realise I'm using my sisters passport. Mine's out of date. Yes please this is the airport drama I live for 194 5,050 176K 6.8M

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Terry Fuck @terryfuck45·5 5h ... Probably 9/11 flightrador24 - Flightradar24 @flightradar24.5 5h What's the most unacceptable airplane faux pas? Show this poll 5 63 887 61K

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Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal . 19h I set out a suitcase to pack for my flight later today and spotted my 3 year old crawling inside it to hide. I casually zipped it up, yelled I'M OFF TO THE AIRPORT, EVERYBODY!, and carried it to the car. I've circled the block twice and my luggage hasn't stopped laughing. @HenpeckedHal 86 55K 2.5K 989K

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7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000 . 21h Me watching Aquaman 2 on mute through the gaps in the airplane seats 36 1.5K 37K 1.3M

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JoJo Lee @jo_leeeee 17h ... Airport: come like 3 hours early Ok what gate do I go to Airport: not telling until last minute 53 3,245 48.6K del 1.5M

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Adso Of Belk @AdsoOfBelk. 1d delaneycirce Guy next to me on a flight to NYC kept googling best porridge in _  and then filled in the blank with 10-15 various American cities 46m Reply 216 15 393 12K 356K

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chase @_chase_ 1d thought i was flying to new york but apparently they're just fucking kidding?? JFK MIKE Hi there! Onboard F Let's watch TV Offerings II Ler's watch TV You're flying to New Eat, drink. watch DIRECTV York (JFK). Movies 2:00 PM Featured Movie Dolly CB HO C You're Pairs NEW Todos must 2 La mesa le sturante mL rozan Bospegue FA and All devices must DE ungligged train air tax take-oft Todas IDE discussivas enter toma de comienta dies rodow desepter are Life vest is under your seat Fasten your seat belt while seated Chaleco salvavidas debajo de su asiento Abroche su

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jacky @JackWilliamRtF. dd ... it's actually called that bc you am on the trak alexandra @bigmoodenergy.2d just realized amtrak is an acronym A Merican Transit... 15 2,247 42K 1.4M

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naomi @lachancenaomi27-18h naomi @lachancenaomi27.2/24/24 ... Flight attendant: is there a doctor on this plane? Formerly gifted child who is an oldest daughter: I'm a formerly gifted child who is an oldest daughter 2 5 62 del 2.2K S @saucherie 1d saw this reel that said no one thrives more in an airport than a solo travelling eldest daughter and like YES so true 25 3,095 40.3K 1.2M

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Paradoxe, The Great @Astrono... 3h ... They about to shoot you out of a cannon. JUICY @juuiiiccyyy 1d I just paid $11 for my flight to La 146 2,568 15.4K du 631K

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@himbopottomus 22h ... your dog when you pull the suitcase out to pack Rec e 12000 140 JE 134 2.6K 93K

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hana @_hanatwothree . 1d shout out to the tsa IDIDN'T GET GROPEDO 29 670 25K 177K

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Josh Gondelman @joshgondel... . 4h ... The gate agent just offered $1,700 for anyone traveling to Indianapolis to take a later flight, and no one took it which means that manifest is full of wealthy people who need to get to Indiana NOW. 71 91 3,803 del 179K
ryan @OhItsRyan - 3d ... Me when they finally call group 6 on my United Airlines basic economy flight so I can be the absolute last person to board my middle seat in row 39 that doesn't recline all because I wanted to save $40 but still spent $60 on chips and two margaritas at the airport chilis. CC wheney you are re exectly to be 29 1,121 20.5K 1M

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Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel . 1 1d ... should i airdrop this to the person in front of me on my flight 8:41 Notes February 12, 2024 at 8:41PM landing is gonna be so epic. 1 hour and 6 minutes left. woohoo!!! 46 1,550 63.8K 1.7M

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emy @theamazingemy - 9h ... this flight about to be a movie A24 COMMENT THE 11:22 AM AED LAND SPEED DEPOT LAND SPEED All Customers RFC SE WE RECYCLE SLC 43 2.1K 53K 864K

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Joe @joeefoster.5h ... Guy next to me on the train just said on a teams call he's got to be offline for a few hours to sort some maintenance at his flat. We're both on the way to the airport. This diva 3 95 4,455 del 110K

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Sarah Edwards @eddy_sarah 11h ... Had a new experience tonight: on hour one of a six-hour flight, I got up to use the bathroom and when I came back the guy beside me was wearing my sweatshirt 131 1,797 74.3K du 2.5M

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wild TikTok screenshots 22h ... - I УАВЯ + 262.1K ... 4086 Me watching people queue for half an hour for 5493 the flight we all have assigned seats on 138 2,015 62.9K 2.3M

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michael @kresnxk· 18h I hate it here GRETA GERWIG ON MY FLIGHT Brandyn Twitter who? В 1 Reply Jay Beyoncé I thought she didn't fly bc of climate 1 Reply 54 2,351 45.5K 1M

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rin + @rinnystarr. 21h BALLS?????! indeed Sign in III tsa jobs City or postcode The Fumbler @greendaylover44.1/25/20 TSA can see your cock and balls whenever you walk through the X- Ray scanner 4.2K 109 74K 5.2M

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Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1 1.5h Airline attendant: We are now boarding for Group 1 only. I repeat, Group 1 only. Someone from Group 6: 14 827 14.4K 315K

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Abam @AdamBroud 18h This is how my wife dressed for our flight today and I can't wait for her to let me know which one of these motherfuckers isn't real 80 35 1,031 28.5K 586K

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Emily Murnane @emily_murna....2 21h ... Me attentively watching the flight attendant doing their safety demonstration so that they know that I am the best passenger 110 15.9K 156K 3.4M

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@y2kbrix 1d why he said AirPort like it was made by apple... 444 @alishalynette. 1d date night in another city > Cash $400 Go book this Flight Meet me at AirPort Don't Miss the Flight 50 1,805 34K 1M

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