John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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35 Statistics That Make Numbers Sorta Cool

35 Statistics That Make Numbers Sorta Cool

Not that we need to tell you, but we really do “value” numbers around here. Get it? ‘Cause numbers already have value. Laugh-out-loud jokes aside, we actually are numbers freaks. Especially when they help measure some pretty interesting things, like how many years of your life you’ll spend waiting in line. 

Okay, some numbers we just don’t want to know.

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CRACKED SHUFFLING A DECK OF CARDS It's almost impossible to shuffle a deck of cards into the exact same order twice - it's like trying to arrange the same number of atoms as there are in our entire galaxy. So it's almost certain that every single shuffled deck of cards, ever, is unique.

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CRACKED GENETIC INFLUENCE ON GENDER OF OFFSPRING According to a Newcastle University study of hundreds of years of family trees, men who had more brothers were more likely to have sons, and those with more sisters were more likely to have daughters. This pattern wasn't seen in women.

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Americans use 36.5 billion rolls of toilet paper each Year. That's 1/5 of all the TP in the world, even though the U.S. makes up only 4% of the global population. CRACKED.COM

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Think trial jurors are well-prepared? They aren't. One study actually tested jurors on the things they should know after hearing their instructions. Their score? About 40%. ? ? ? Jurors who understood that the defendant doesn't need to prove him- or herself innocent: 50%. Jurors who didn't know what constitutes proof of guilt: 86%. CRACKED.COM

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Heart attacks increase by 24% on the Monday after Daylight Savings Time kicks in. Researchers speculate that the spike has to do with a disruption in circadian rhythms and cortisol levels. And, unsurprisingly, stress. CRACKED.COM

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CRACKED.COM You're more likely to die FALLING OUT OF BED than in a plane crash. Both likelihoods are very slim: 1 in 2 million for the bed against 1 in 5 million for the plane.

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A full 70% OF GUNS seized by police in Mexico can be traced back to the United States. CRACKED COM

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The average person spends FIVE YEARS OF THEIR LIFE waiting in line. CRACKED.COM

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Hippos kill 3,000 PEOPLE every year. Sharks kill fewer than six. Where are all the Hipponado movies? CRACKED COM

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John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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