30 Mortifying (But Funny) Things People Did to Their Spouse

‘Had a few beers not realizing they were 10% ABV…’
30 Mortifying (But Funny) Things People Did to Their Spouse

A lot can go wrong while meeting your significant other’s family — arriving three hours late to dinner, accidentally smacking their cousin’s ass or dropping a freshly-delivered pizza that was meant to serve as family dinner are all embarrassing experiences. But as one Redditor found out, some mortifying tales of “meet the parents” woe are shittier than others — sometimes literally. 

Upon noticing an extremely foul odor in their partner’s parents’ car, they initially chalked it up to bad hygiene. “I thought maybe one of his parents had an accident or something, like maybe they had on some Depends or just didn’t shower for a week,” they recalled.

When they arrived at the restaurant, though, they quickly realized mom and dad weren’t to blame for the stench — it was the dog poop on their own shoe. “I had unknowingly stepped in fresh dog shit right before getting in the car and during the ride had managed to grind it into the carpet,” they continued, noting it took “some years, some alcohol and singing karaoke” to make up for the embarrassing incident. 

Other Redditors have recalled the times love managed to conquer similarly mortifying moments filled with farts, vomit and cringe-worthy conversations.

Curious_Working5706 9mo ago e Edited 9mo ago First time this woman has me come and meet her folks, they order pizza and when it shows up I go Oh, I got it and I DROP THE MFING PIZZA as soon as I close the door man. Everyone is quiet for what seems like an hour, and then at the same time, her dad, older and younger brothers all start laughing/crying. I thought her dad was gonna have a heart attack. To this day the f-ing guy says he's never laughed harder and he's like 90. 30+ years and these people
thisthingwecalllife 9mo ago Ripped a noxious silent fart in the grocery store as we were checking out. His face went white and started grabbing the grocery bags pretty fast. Не goes, we gotta get outta here. Someone farted and it smells really bad. Не took off walking really fast and I started laughing so hard, I couldn't keep up. Не didn't turn around until the parking lot, saw me laughing, says, that was YOU! Together 17 years, married almost 10 years. 1.3K ...
XOSMILEox92 9mo ago Had a few beers not realizing they were 10%abv each-this was completely my own poor judgement and not paying attention. Threw up twice in the toilet and once in the bathtub in his apartment ....managed to throw up in my own hair all three times. Не cleaned it up three times, washed my hair all three times, combed it out. The third time he found my anti frizz spray and French braided it. We got married 4 months ago and have been together 5.5 years. He's the best! 418 ...
 9mo ago Edited 9mo ago I was in my first year of work out of law school. I was working around the clock, was super sleep deprived, and had basically no social life. Не took me to a party with a bunch of his burning man artist friends. They were going around the circle, talking about their current projects - sculptures, textile art, all kinds of really cool things. I was feeling out of place and kind of lame and also was just so sleep deprived and tired that my social compass was off. When it came my turn to share,
aceituna_garden 9mo ago Heavy, heavy, heavy period overnight. Woke up to a near crime scene. Worse yet it was a hotel room. Не was totally cool and didn't even blink twice. Never brought it up again either. 3.8K ... aHyperChicken 9mo ago Red Bed Redemption 3.3K ...
LastCenturyModern 9mo ago When he introduced me to his parents, I was nervous enough already. When we got into his parent's car to go to dinner, I was hit with a very unpleasant smell. I thought maybe one of his parents had an accident or something, like maybe they had on some depends or just didn't shower for a week. No one said anything in the car - total awkward silence. When we finally get to our destination, I step out of the car and my foot slips. I had unknowingly stepped in fresh dog shit right before getting in the car
TheRoyalShe 9mo ago Not me but my loving husband. In the very early days of dating, we were waiting out a rainstorm on a walk in a Mexican grocer. Walking around and looking at all the imported items, he picked up a bottle of men's cologne/aftershave. I leaned in to give it a smell as he squeezed the sides of the plastic bottle to waft the smell for me. But he squeezed too hard. And it shot straight up my nose and down my throat. It was so startling. And so awful. And all I could smell for HOURS was
dirtandstarsinmyeyes 9mo ago | farted on the first date... (the next morning?) A few weeks later I laughed so hard I got a fettuccine noodle stuck in my nose and had to excuse myself because I couldn't breathe. A few weeks after that... | smacked his cousin's boyfriend's ass really hard. (I was drunk and I they looked similar from behind?) 18 years later, I'm still an embarrassment. 1.6K ...
Kanadark 9mo ago We went to an amusement and one of the rides suddenly made me very nauseous. | tried to hold it in, but it didn't work and I ended up vomiting. The unfortunate part was that it was one of those giant spinning swings and he was directly behind me and got a good dose of it all over him. Не cleaned himself up, and took me home while having to keep pulling over to let me out to continue being sick. We've been married 13 years and I don't go on amusement park rides anymore! 1.2K ...
caywriter 9mo ago Edited 9mo ago Did not know at the time that | was allergic to vagisil. The gyno was even surprised at how swollen I was. Then I had to sit, open-legged in front of a fan for a week. My man did allllll the things for me that week. 1.1K ...
halfblooded 9mo ago Early on, | spent the night and overslept the next morning. Не had already left for work, and I was slightly hungover, so I took a big morning dump. Ended up clogging the toilet. There was no plunger and I was late for work so I ran off and eventually worked up the courage to text him about it. Не bought a plunger on his way home and.. took care of it. Edit: We've been together eleven years now :) 4.1K ...
twilighttruth 9mo ago We had just finished having sex. I rolled away from him so I could get out of bed and go clean up. However, I underestimated how close I was to the end of the bed and fell on the floor. Hard. Jizz went shooting outta me and all over the floor. Landing on the floor hurt. A lot. So standing up was hard enough, then I stepped in the jizz and slipped. That's when we started laughing. 1.3K ...
 9mo ago Early on while dating I was late to dinner with her at her house. She said I was late to everything and I stupidly said I'm never late for important things! Been married almost 15 years and she still makes fun of me for that one 1.4K ... 9mo ago Gromps Holy shit how did you survive that one 742 ...
EnglishRose71 9mo ago I was born a clueless geek and probably will always be one. On our third date, back in 1965, we went to the drive in. When you bought a pizza in those days, it was just in a skimpy cardboard box and somehow I held it sideways and it slid completely down the leg of my pink stretch pants and all over my sandals onto the floor. Не married me anyway. Don't say he wasn't warned! 589 ... + 1 more reply
FindMe_SomebodyToLuv 9mo ago One of first few times having sex, my now husband picked a rather large bit of toilet paper out of my ass and just said oh our toilet paper sucks. And then kept at it. 842 ...
JustGenericName 9mo ago Well I almost ruined his proposal. Не has an acquaintance who I think is the biggest douche canoe on the planet and he was dating a colleague of mine whom I also have zero respect. Well, they got engaged in Hawaii the day before we got to Hawaii. I was due for a marriage proposal at any time. When I saw their social media posts, I said, Don't do something cheesy like propose in Hawaii. Не had the ring already purchased and my perfect day snorkel trip with my favorite animal already booked. Fortunately, he knows I
Necessary-Quality-77 9mo ago Spent our first Christmas together with all his family. I had horrible cramps and excused myself to the bathroom to do my business. Ended up clogging the toilet and absolutely panicking. After I text for help my now-husband came to my rescue with a plunger. His brother saw him and laughed clogged the toilet? And my husband just said yep and took the blame to save me the embarrassment. That's when I knew it was true love lol 163 ... + 1 more reply
retired_fromlife 9mo ago Edited 8mo ago This is not what I did, but what my BF (later husband) did. One evening around 8 or 9 he said that we were supposed to have gone to his parent's house for dinner. Two of his Aunts and an Uncle were visiting from out of state. I had never met his parents before, and the first time I did we were 3 hours late. His wonderful Mom fixed us plates for dinner, and the two Aunts and the Uncle became my favorites after that. My husband and I were married for 46 1/2
Sideways_Turd ОР 9mo ago We were engaged and living together. I'm a restless sleeper. One night I rolled over and didn't realize how close she was to me. I accidentally kneed her HARD in the small of her back, just to the right of her spine. She was in agony and had problems with that spot in her back for years afterwards. But we've been together for 20 years with 3 kids and had an awesome day together today, so I think she's forgiven me. 1.5K ...
free-toe-pie 9mo ago One time I sat down with him very close on the couch. So close in fact one of his long ass toe nails dug into my leg. I was full on bleeding. I still have a scar. I swear his super power is the fastest growing toenails on the planet. 144 ... + 1 more reply
Ashestoduss 9mo ago We were in college and he lived close by so we ended up at his house a lot. Locally the doors aren't totally sealed off meaning there is space at the top. I had to poop but didn't let it on, just pretended I was going for a quick bathroom run. I always 'wipe and look' until the toilet paper is clean. Не decides to jokingly surprise me and jumps above the opening at the most inopportune moment when I was looking at the shit on the toilet paper. I know he saw, he knows I know
gannerhorn 9mo ago I had an apartment, I was falling behind on my electric bill and was trying to work as much as I can to catch up but was almost to the point of them shutting me off. The day they were going to shut my electric off, she helped pay the bill. I was so embarrassed, I wouldn't have blamed her for not being with me. From that day on, she does all the bills.... 547 ...
 9mo ago We weren't even dating yet, but I was helping her move. We were friends before we started dating. Anyway, I was moving the kitchen stuff and | dropped the box and broke all of her nice ceramic plates. I felt bad so I gave her $200 to replace them, but some of them were like sentimental and not replaceable. I felt so bad. About a year later we started dating, and she picked this Greek restaurant, and apparently at Greek restaurants they celebrate by smashing plates on the floor, so that was a cute choice by her.
Blessed_tenrecs 9mo ago Not married yet, but I was a bit of a hoarder. My boyfriend is a very clean and organized person. I'd already started cleaning and becoming a more organized person myself, but I had a large house and much of it was still a nightmare. Не was willing to give me a chance in hopes that I really was changing, and eventually saw that I was. I am so glad he was willing to do that. Honestly I wouldn't have blamed him for running from that mess. 448 ...
 9mo ago While we were still dating we were on a mini vacation with her parents. I got the stomach bug from hell which included my having violent diarrhea and projectile vomiting for 3 days in the rented condo. And some point in that haze I soiled more than one pair of boxers. 98 ... + 1 more reply
buddy0813 9mo ago We had dinner one night and were hanging out at his apartment when it was about time for me to head home. We had never had an overnight together at this point, and he begged me to stay just for a little while and cuddle. I fell asleep while he was spooning me, and apparently I farted ON him in my sleep. Не never told me about it until after we were married, and I still wanted to crawl out of my own skin when I heard about it. 173 ...
svogon 9mo ago Slid through a stop sign on an icy road on our first date. Got t-boned. She had a broken pelvis and was in a hospital bed at home for two months. We've been married 28 years now with two kids. 254 ...
RNHealz 9mo ago Our very first date. My husband, not me. We went to a Mexican restaurant I had been to and he had not. I told him not to get the shrimp burrito al Diablo, he did not listen. I tried to explain that it was spicy even for people who eat lots of spicy food. Не said, I can handle it. His eyes were watering. I was laughing at him. Не was laughing at himself saying, you were right. Then he said, Well, you know what they say, what goes down hot, comes out hot. I was in
Darz167 9mo ago We had been dating for just a few weeks. We were driving to dinner and I had to quickly pull off to a side street and park. I had just run out of gas. She thought I was kidding. I wasn't. We are married 35 years now. She laughs about it now. 137 ...
Muppet0242 9mo ago My wife is a snoozer, she hits ths snooze button an easy dozen time before moving. This one more the alarm go off she smacks it doesn't turn off. She hits it again. Still not shutting off. She really just start smacking the shit out of the alarm. Still going off. She sit up to realize two things. It's the trash truck alarm, and she been slaping my head the whole time. Did wake me. - 4.1K ...

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