29 Bizarre News Items That Feel Like They Were Made Up for Some Far-Flung Fictional Universe

We didn’t make these up, we swear. Our imaginations aren’t that good!
29 Bizarre News Items That Feel Like They Were Made Up for Some Far-Flung Fictional Universe
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Although we’d really like to, we can’t take credit for these stories. It sucks too, because they’re wildly creative, and we want everyone to think we are too! The higher-ups just told us that we can’t pass off true stories as our own fictional works, so we guess we’ll just write this little pre-list blurb and display the goods. 

If the higher-ups weren’t such truth sticklers — and Google couldn’t easily out us — rest assured we’d be passing these off these bizarre news stories as our own for sure!

The Thin Indian Thief

WEIRD WORLD In India, a thief went on a three-month diet just so he could commit a burglary. Не knew he couldn't get into his old employer's house unless he slimmed down enough to fit through a ventilator, so he did that. CRACKED.COM

No Leather Coats in North Korea

WEIRD WORLD If you want to visit North Korea, make sure you don't wear a leather coat. Leather coats are now banned there, and it's just a vanity thing - Dear Leader doesn't want anyone copying his super-cool style. CRACKED.COM

Driving to the Driving Test

WEIRD WORLD One guy in Germany literally drove (yes, in his car) to his driving test. - Cops showed up, and he told them he just wanted to make sure he didn't arrive late. CRACKED.COM

The Groundhog Coverup

WEIRD WORLD A small town's weather-guessing groundhog died, and they kept it a secret. The mayor defended the move, saying that it was a matter of protecting the groundhog's brand. CRACKED.COM

Professor Poo

WEIRD WORLD Japan is officially using a character named Professor Poo for public education. 0 1000 CR837111C P *** CR 8371 The, uh, disturbingly cute cartoon character is being used as a way to teach kids about paying taxes. CRACKED.COM

Insane Complaints

WEIRD WORLD In the UK, someone complained about an air ambulance ruining their sleep. Thanks - 000 MADIC G-DAAN www.dani.org DEVON AIR AMBULANCE - - - The helicopter flew over residential areas at 4 am, and one person complained to the life-saving charity that operated the helicopter. CRACKED.COM

Shipping Diapers to China

WEIRD WORLD One recycling company sent things like dog poop and used diapers to China. Slip ULTRA M Slip ULTRA . MH After it was discovered that they'd illegally shipped 1,300 tons of household waste, they got a hefty fine. CRACKED.COM

Collecting Soccer Balls

WEIRD WORLD Somebody collected 1,230 different soccer balls, setting a world record. That's according to Guinness, who certified that the Mexican collector broke their previous record. CRACKED.COM

Home Alone IRL

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, the plot of Home Alone kind of happened in real life. In Arizona, parents left an 11-year-old at home for two weeks, and he didn't go to school in that time, according to sheriff's deputies. CRACKED.COM

Medieval Warhorses

WEIRD WORLD We've learned that medieval warhorses were way less awesome than we thought. Apparently, scientists say that, it turns out, warhorses at the time were no bigger than ponies today. CRACKED.COM

The Lost Cat That Found Its Way Back Home

WEIRD WORLD After somehow being donated to a thrift store, a cat found its way back. When they were moving out, a Denver family donated a recliner to a thrift store, not realizing their cat was hiding inside. Thankfully, the cat was discovered at the store and reunited with the family. CRACKED.COM

Driving With A Lit BBQ Pit

WEIRD WORLD In Texas (of course), someone was driving with a lit BBQ pit. That's according to Texas law enforcement, who say the suspect was DUI, had cocaine on him, and had a burning BBQ pit in the back of his truck. CRACKED.COM

Google Maps Bust of Spanish Mob Kingpin

WEIRD WORLD Google Maps was used to bust a former mafia boss in Spain. The Google Maps Street View camera snapped a pic of the fugitive Sicilian mafia boss at his new restaurant in Spain, and that helped the police finally nab him. CRACKED.COM

The Fountain of Youth

WEIRD WORLD A Philly woman who's 106 years old credits her life to an all-American diet. Specifically, she says that it was faith and Big Macs that allowed her to live this long. CRACKED.COM

Potato Chips Made from Dirt

WEIRD WORLD Lay's is now making chips from potatoes grown in NFL stadium dirt. The new, limited-edition Golden Grounds chips are literally grown in soil that was taken from NFL stadiums and fields. CRACKED.COM

FirstEnergy’s Mystery Losses

WEIRD WORLD A company can't figure out how it spent 460 million dollars. A 390 6556960 - DOLLA THE RESERVE VISTE TEEK UNITED STATES OF AMERICA D adidas TK17258282A 05471231 Mode 4 DERAL RESERVE NOTE NOTE AB 50 SHL FirstEnergy was supposed to spend that money on modernizing its electric grid, CRACKED.COM happened. but there's zero evidence that that actually

A Moose in the Basement

WEIRD WORLD A moose got trapped in a basement in Colorado, somehow. Apparently, it was grazing nearby, and managed to fall into a basement. Не wouldn't climb up the stairs (unsurprisingly), and wildlife officers had to get pretty resourceful in getting him out. CRACKED.COM

Smoking Weed in an Ad

WEIRD WORLD A Louisiana Senate candidate has an ad in which he smokes marijuana. I hope this ad works to not only destigmatize the use of marijuana, but also forces a new conversation that creates the pathway to legalize this beneficial drug, and forgive those who were arrested due to outdated ideology, he said. CRACKED.COM

FedEx’s Lasers

WEIRD WORLD FedEx sees the need for anti-missile lasers on its cargo jets. FedEx Express They want to put a missile defense system that directs infrared laser energy toward an incoming missile, in an effort to interrupt the missile's tracking of the aircraft's heat. CRACKED.COM

The Final Fantasy Interruption

WEIRD WORLD Final Fantasy hentai was broadcast during an Italian Senate meeting. The Senate held a virtual meeting, and somebody managed to hijack it and stream rendered hardcore porn featuring Final Fantasy 7's Tifa Lockheart. CRACKED.COM

The Woman Who Faked Her Own Kidnapping

WEIRD WORLD A young woman faked her own kidnapping to get away from her husband. 2 - Pizza® Domino's Fresh Arrives ade sh So she staged the whole thing at Domino's Pizza in Sioux Falls, where she worked. The whole plan failed, and she was arrested on multiple charges. CRACKED.COM

Teens and the Supply Chain

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, teenagers might solve the US' supply chain issues. A-4990 In a bid to get more drivers out there driving trucks, the federal government is rolling out a plan to get 18-to-20-year-olds behind the wheels of big rigs. CRACKED.COM

The Taliban and DeLoreans

WEIRD WORLD It looks like the Taliban want to start making brand new DeLoreans. T and DMC BI ES770 Ty DeLorean, who says he's John DeLorean's son, says the new Afghan government reached out to him with an offer to start producing DeLorean cars. CRACKED.COM

Seized Kellogg’s Cereal

WEIRD WORLD The Mexican government seized 380,000 boxes of Kellogg's cereal. The reason? According to the government, cartoons on the boxes violate laws aimed at improving childrens' diets. CRACKED.COM

Starlink and Cats

WEIRD WORLD Starlink satellite dishes are now being used as self-heating beds for cats. The dishes have a self-heating feature, designed to make sure snow doesn't disrupt the signals - but cats are using them as nice, warm beds. CRACKED.COM

The 9-Year-Old Air Freshener Salesboy

WEIRD WORLD A boy selling air fresheners in the UK got investigated by police. 9-year-old Donnan from the Greater Manchester area sold them for pocket money - which would have been fine, but for some reason, somebody from his school complained to the police. CRACKED.COM

The Sinking Selfie

WEIRD WORLD In Canada, a woman took a selfie on top of her car as it sank into a river. Apparently, she'd been trying to drive across the frozen river, and it didn't work out t - so she snapped a selfie before the car fell through the ice. CRACKED.COM

The Arranged Marriage Gone Wrong

WEIRD WORLD In London, a guy put up billboard ads begging for rescue from arranged marriage. That was pretty much his last-ditch attempt at finding a wife - the ads read Save me from arranged marriage. CRACKED.COM

The Japanese Firefighter

WEIRD WORLD A Japanese firefighter took a pay cut because of his YouTube channel. It was a gaming channel, and he'd made thousands of dollars in profit from ads -- so the authorities docked his pay by 10%, because he'd profited from ads, some of which could be inappropriate in nature, CRACKED.COM said a city official.

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