50 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of September 1, 2025

‘Getting so drunk I donated to Wikipedia’
50 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of September 1, 2025

The real Johnny Carson was far from what fans saw on television. 

Hall & Oates rocker John Oates recalled his first major television appearance, and revealed that the late Tonight Show host was surprisingly “subdued” when the cameras weren’t rolling. “The moment the countdown started — ‘three, two, one’ — and the lights came on the camera, he was Johnny Carson. He was like, boom,” Oates remembered of the King of Late Night’s “shocking” switch.  

Meanwhile, Saturday Night Live is still figuring out its future. Shortly after the show announced that Kam Patterson, Veronika Slowikowska, Tommy Brennan, Jeremy Culhane and Please Don’t Destroy alum Ben Marshall would be signing on for the show’s 51st season, Colin Jost offered an update of his own. The comedian reportedly told fans he’d “probably” stick around for another season of SNL during a performance this week, according to a Redditor who says they attended Jost’s stand-up act on Thursday night. 

We can say with full confidence, however, that you’ll love these hysterical tweets. This week’s funniest include those about our September budget, “bar bathroom wisdom” and Clifford the Big Red Dog’s early years.

li @butatomb.23h G ... why is my dad like this Today 15:36 We goin or what No Why Don't want to Fine. You want to go Thursday? Why are you getting angsty cause I don't want pizza Delivered Ok. 192 1.7K 40K 760K
kayla?! @k_lxgxndd 23h having a type is so like...fine! u caught me 21 1.9K 18K 223K
bri @floptrina5000.1d S ... clifford as a puppy noticing he a lil thiccah than the rest of the litter 654 14K 21 323K
ray @styledinred. 1d ... ops thanks I've been working out a lot it shows! looking huge king um... I've been cutting for six months. looking small king 24 746K 488 30K
HOURLY shitpost 11h S ... quieres D-T-RI JUSH THE NAKED G MAN FEARS Box NO PICKPOCKET hus Bar bathroom wisdom 101 4.9K 99K 1.5M
Lego D. Trillermoth @legotr... 14h s ... i feel such fondness for her. that is my friend. boklou @TheldlerWheel 1d Emma Stone was so happy to eat her chicken pot pie NIM OL DAVOS GOYMOL YOUR OOSS DELTA PRESENTS: 17 1.2K 26K 598K
g @34rths 18h Did you receive the texts I almost sent you 20 4.7K 24K 334K
@prayyouucatchme-2 23h Evil Dave what does LGBT mean? Reply 163 4d fã de Baratta Lady Gaga ft. Beyoncé - Telephone 4d Reply 5,810 64 8.6K 78K 1.6M
mika @themikalaleeann-1 1d ... me and my homegirls Science girl @gunsnrose... 2d Starfish dancing on a pole 9.4K 106K 35 3M
Zach @zjfrank13.17h ... Straight man at the concert last night turned to me completely unprompted and said I tried guys once and it wasn't for me THE CUT 1K 52K 123 824K
Adelaide @Breadstick... 1d s ... this is a ham. would be a shame if someone put an S and an e next to it 508 9.5K 111K del 2M
Pat @pattbb8.1 1d Spielberg was 27 when he made 'Jaws'. I am 33, four beers deep and seeing it in theaters tomorrow. This is what life is all about 58 2.6K 57K del 1M
cumweiser @cumweiser-17h getting so drunk i donated I to wikipedia 10 719 10K 120K
Ace Panda @AcePandaMagic-1d s ... ACE! This is how some of yall be treating Raising Cane's 235 3.5K 63K del 1M
Millie @bumpasshell - 1d ... My dad said Paul from the Beatles is dead at dinner last night so assertively that we all stopped and looked at him in shock and he went on to say Не died in the 80s and was replaced- and everybody just groaned 30 1K 34K 480K
tomas @edwizr. 5h O ... Pedro Pascal came into my work today & after he left a customer came up to me & said i took a pic of you' with him do you want it? so this is me i am on posing with Pedro Pascal the far right 832 114 31K 423K
Popcornfan8998 @popcornf... 1d s ... I'll stick with popcorn 2d Images That Make You F... If they sold this in theaters instead of popcorn I'd be happy 401 2.3K 74K del 2M
Charlotte Lee @cljack.21h s ... he has no opinion about England, he's too busy racing dirt bikes in rural southwest VA P Wylfčen @wylfcen1d Reconstruction of an Anglo-Saxon from the 400s. What do you think he'd think of England today? 81 733 368K 19K
Sarah Osment @sm_osment.22h s ... my employer emailed me to congratulate me on my 4-year anniversary with a link to a button that said view recognition which takes you to a page that says you are recognized 621 4.3K 116K 5.1M
Bil @KillingSwiftly· 1d s ... the concept of Adele releasing a hOrny album when she turns 69 Albums 30 2021 25 2015 21 2011 ADELE21 19 2008 ADELE19 112 2.4K 74K 1.1M
Klark @KnightClawk.1 1d ... how did I go from this to paying bills @Vo1dxx·· 1d POV: it's 2004 and you're about to watch a Disney Channel movie 98 14K 96K 2.5M
Kyla Jenée Lacey @Kyla_L... 9h s ... The fact that Nick Cannon worked for Nickelodeon and didn't name not one of his 37 sons, Nick Jr., still bothers me. 242 5.7K 92K del 1.7M
Turnbull @cturnbull1968.9h ... These three men share a common problem and they've all chosen to handle it in a different manner. 554 2K 30K del 782K
alyssa @alyssaraetho.1 17h G ... Shaving my whole body just in case Pop Base @PopBase.22h Donald Trump will make his announcement in less than 5 hours. 306 13 17K 451K
no context memes @....13h s ... TOP OR BOTTOM TWIN ????? 62 1.8K 32K 442K
bald ann dowd @ali_sivi . 14h S ... really really fabulous second sentence Pop Ting3 Pop Tingz @ThePopTingz.1 15h TMZ confirms Sydney Sweeney & Scooter Braun are dating. They reportedly met at Jeff Bezos' wedding in Venice. 157K 3.2M 116 5.4K
Ben @The_GM_is_God id s ... It just hit me that this is Lego Batman and Robin 33 1.4K 35K 569K
Advit @advitwake.1 1d ... we need an entire episode set during a 21 minute standing ovation Jillian @JillianChili 1 1 1d The Venice Film Festival episode of The Studio is going to go hard 56 1.5K 35K del 1.5M
AARON @lidolmix.9h G ... me joining a dress to impress server with 16 seconds left @PopBase.1 1d Pop Base Sabrina Carpenter stuns with a bald cap for Interview Magazine. 22 1.5K 24K 675K
RoBLox Random+0 of #miuoomftwt 22h s ... Where am I video by Slime Amazing some of yall in the american revolution fandom are way too comfortable with weird age gap in ships + 5,064 Full screen ... 223 553 198 5.5K 57K 665K
- |voic... 10h s ... let me on e !!!! i'm late !!! i got to go to worke !!! 24 1.7K 16K 168K
kendall @superiorsantina. dd ... me realizing that everyone doesn't have to die just cause i'm irritated GIF 259 36K 198K del 3.2M
josef k hole @poeticdweller.13h s ... kirsten dunst whenever you want to have a whiskey and a cigarette and talk shit i'm free Kirsten Dunst Updates @D....1d Channing Tatum on Kirsten Dunst: She's not a diva, where she could easily be, and have earned that. And she's not. She wants to have a cigarette and a whiskey with you and talk shit. (variety.com/2025/film/feat...) yo Doll 1K 15K 286K
Mark @AgingRanchHand 19h I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me and then leave 22 2K 42K 651K
maha @mahaaaay.2 23h my new bit is just saying allegedly to things that i have very clearly done 159 9.3K 116K del 1.9M
clare @sadderlizards. dd S ... the stuff i've been liking since likes went private Archaeology & Art @arch... . 2d Netsuke of a Rat Grasping a Soybean Pod. Japan, early 19th century (Edo period). Carved wood. Collection: The Metropolitan Museum of Art. 3K 69K 16 1.4M
chicken butt @gueswhatttttt-1d hi WE ARE NY State of New York @NYG... . 1d HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT 67 5.9K 73K 1.7M
harlan @morepain4harlan-id ... they're taking the piss charged me $8 for a thimble of matcha 379 121K 4.2K 1.9M
kim So St. Louix tallulah Follow @lilcutieorange my ex coworker had a baby and named it Link and I asked if it was inspired by good mythical morning or zelda and she said no its to honor abraham lincoln and I felt bad. anyway she just had another baby AND NAMED IT ZELDA 12:11 PM 9/3/25 1.9M Views 299 4.4K 178K 4.1K
cel12+13 @chuuseungkwan.1d S ... GODDAMN IT UR GAY RU YAJ 204 2.7K 72K del 1M
Jared Gilman @realJaredGil... 12h s ... bailey @baileylikemovie - dd As a society we're losing the art of dissolves in film and that saddens me 41 2.1K 41K 1M
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi.8 8h ... IN It's pretty astounding that RFK has even less brains than his uncle 82 947 14K 208K
mutt @downinguppers : 21h G ... AERO NEW BRAUNFELS, TX - NOT a - 52 2.1K 24K 253K
Nicole Rifkin @nicole_rif... 16h s ... my partner misspoke and said 'jugs judy' which will sustain me for weeks if not months. 88 2.7K 62K 903K
Brian Graham @iroasmas.4 4d i don't understand why my cooking was garbage. i i did everything right. i drank i wine while i cooked. i had a hand towel over my shoulder. literally everything right 151 5.2K 116K del 1.9M
Mimi @dkkcaramell Sep 2 ... my budget for September is a smile and i dont know how long that will last 80 15K 59K 1.2M
+ + rreeceollld . 2 20h ... sorry i'm late i sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes staring at the wall 26 3.1K 24K del 292K
internet hall of fame с @InternetH0F Sep 2 ... Looking back.. how did harvey dent not know it was the Joker till he took off the mask 0:01 1.5K 7.5K 173K del 14M
james @futtywap.9h s ... 86 htB 86 LIGHTYEAR Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat9h Fuck Lightning. Piece of shit 67 2.7K 49K del 1.7M
@kkiciato.1 1d me if i i was a detective: ok wait omg 33 5.1K 41K del 558K

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