23 Jokes to Bring With You to Your Bringer Show

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23 Jokes to Bring With You to Your Bringer Show
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It’d be a major faux pas (possibly a cardinal sin) to tell internet jokes at an open mic, but these can at least help you learn solid setup/punchline structure for your own original material.

We assume that’s why you’re here, right? You’re looking to get into stand-up and need our advice. Sadly, all we can do is present these here hilarious examples and wish you luck on your journey. Godspeed!

You know Orion's Belt? Big waist of space, huh? Didn't like that joke? That's okay...it's only got 3 stars
Achiles_Heals . 5y ago . Edited 5y ago . If a child doesn't want to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest? Asked by one of the guys at a volunteer event to a Sheriff.
IWillCube 5y ago a What's green, furry, has 4 legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree onto you? A pool table + 2.6K ...
Chewiesbro 2y ago Knock Knock Who's there? Car go. Car go who? Nah mate, Owl go who, Car go Beep Beep + 458 ...
CRACKED When the child got lost at the mall, how'd they find him? Pretty upset, for starters.
lancebramsay 10y ago I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
JscJake1 3y ago Why can't a T-Rex clap their hands? They're extinct. - 84 ... 3y ago When I tell this joke, I follow with why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? People guess because they're also extinct? Of course, the correct answer is because the P is silent 58 ...
3y ago One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. Не really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. Не kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid. The price was high, but the fine bird was finally his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for
derjames 10y ago What's is the difference between ignorance and negligence? I don't know and I don't care. 82 ...
minodude 10y ago I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish. + 4.5K ...
5evrblond 12y ago What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear 7 ...
Barky_Meowntain e 11y ago . A guy walks into a doctor's office, completely wrapped in cellophane. The doctor looks at him and says, I can clearly see your nuts. 103 ...
Rufio_Rufio . 11y ago . Did you know milk is the fastest liquid ever? It's pasteurized before you even see it! 135 ...
somagaze 12y ago Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? The baby, because she's a little bigger. + 476 ...
IMASnailProctologist 12y ago 1 Where did the king keep his armies? In his sleevies. ... badum-tss + 1.1K ...
WeenisWrinkle 12y ago Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food, but no atmosphere 165 ...
4_Teh-Lulz 12y ago Why did the snowman take his pants off?? Не heard the snowblower coming 2 ...
ClitSmasher3000 6y ago e I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on 'high' I couldn't turn it down. 12K ...

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Merlaak 0 13y ago e I was going to tell a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long. 599 ...
fencerman 6y ago e How many germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Germans are efficient and not very funny. + 2.5K ...
konydanza 1y ago A man is walking through the woods when he finds a suitcase. Curled up under the suitcase are a fox and four cubs. Не immediately calls animal control to report what he found. Oh no that's terrible, says the animal control worker, are they moving? I dunno, says the man, but I guess that would explain the suitcase. + 9K Share ...
e 9mo ago jethrobeard What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing. 156 ...
n0mgoose 10y ago What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* damn and a skydiver goes damn *whack*

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