31 Hilarious Times Kids Accidentally Spilled Their Parents’ Secrets

‘My Mum is forty but she told me to say thirty’
31 Hilarious Times Kids Accidentally Spilled Their Parents’ Secrets
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Small children think their parents are the greatest people in the world. It’s absolutely adorable. They won’t miss any opportunity to tell even complete strangers all about their favorite people. Sometimes, that involves sharing adorable information. The problem is when they don’t realize some of the facts about mommy and daddy aren’t cleared for public distribution.

Over on AskReddit, teachers and others who deal with young children shared secrets accidentally handed to them by overexcited kids. After all, who can blame a seven-year-old for wanting to tell everyone about the cool back massager he found in mommy’s nightstand? 

My apologies, of course, to the parents in question here, whose secrets are now even more widely available, by my hand. Sorry!

sbergggg . 8y ago From one of my fifth graders: My mom loves being single. She has a ton of boyfriends. also hear the occasional My mom/dad's friend was over when I woke up this morning
tcvok 8y ago I was on recess duty sitting with a group of my 2nd graders when one girl starts very seriously telling us about the really mysterious thing that happened to her that weekend. She was playing in her parents room when she found a toy she didn't recognize. She thought it was so bizarre because it was bumpy and an odd curvy shape and when you push a button it vibrates. Wondering what it could possibly be, she took it into the living room where her parents were entertaining a few friends and held it up asking what
rearwindows 8y ago I had twin 7th graders who found out that their mom was a very high earning stripper. They were very proud. She told everyone that she was in sales. Yes, she was very beautiful
IceCreamSundae18 8y ago 5 year old adorable little girl. 5 year old- My mummy went on holiday with her friends. Me- Oh how nice, did she have a good time? Yes she did, but she kept falling over. Wow! How strange. Hope she's ok now!. Working with kids is awesome sometimes
Sandsy90 . 8y ago One of the 5 year old boys I teach said this a month or so back 'My Mum is forty but she told me to say thirty'
Queen-of-Leon 8y ago A gaggle of four year olds somehow got on the topic of guns. A kid said something about them being dangerous and one girl nodded solemnly and said My daddy got shot in the butt and the doctors couldn't get it back out. That's why I can't slap his butt. I laughed and told her he probably just didn't want her slapping his butt. When he came to pick her up, she told him the whole story, including that I didn't believe her. Не turned bright red and affirmed that he was, in fact, hit with a
8y ago When I worked in a special ed pre school we used to have a pool on grounds that we used in the summer program. I was only an aide at the time, and one little girl was especially close to me even though she wasn't assigned to me specifically. She asked if she could change with me in my stall after swimming. Obviously I said no and sent her to her locker room and quickly tried to retreat back to mine. But before she closed the door she said What's the big deal? I have boobers and
partofbreakfast 8y ago This came from a 1st grader who has a parent who is also a teacher (the kid's dad teaches science at the high school): Sometimes dad makes me do his homework and shows his class because I'm smarter than them. Yep. His dad has him do the homework assignments and then he takes them to the high school and yells at his classes because 'if a first-grader can do it, then why can't you?' Asking about that at parent-teacher conferences just about cracked me and my classroom teacher up.
flyboyfl . 8y ago Student blurts out we got a new car...Mum and Dad were up all night painting it.
nucksnewbie . 8y ago My mom briefly worked the behavioural room in a low income small town school. She had a six year old sent to her for standing up during class and yelling My mommy sucks my daddy's dick!
knoerifast13 8y ago This was my mum, who is also a teacher. 5yo kid sees his dad at the end of the day and screams across the school playground hahahaha dad didn't have any underwear left so he is wearing muuuuum's while pointing a finger and laughing. Oops.
. 8y ago Edited 8y ago | was English tutoring and this 5 year old told me that her dad had a big penis. | was shocked and asked her how did she know, she told me she heard her mom talking about her dad's penis with one of her friends when she came over for coffee. Nosey little thing she is.
jackpockjess 8y ago Not my story but a friend teaches kindergarten in Provo, Utah. She said she asked her students what their parents did for work and one girl said her dad was Jesus. My friend was obviously confused and asked more questions. The little girl was insistent that her dad was in fact Jesus. Come time for parent-teacher conferences and my friend is very eager to meet 'Jesus'. The little girl's dad comes in and my friend confronts her about his daughter's claim. The dad starts laughing and explains that he plays Jesus in the Mormon Bible videos. So
. 8y ago I was teaching a 14 year old guitar and I told him that if he didn't practice, I wouldn't continue teaching him. Не replied with: Well, sorry, but I can't practice. I don't need that kind of stress, for fuck sake! As if it wasn't bad enough to find out my parents are swingers now you want me to fucking practice?
dinosaregaylikeme . 8y ago . Edited 8y ago I once ask my class about what plans they had for Thanksgiving and had a student blurt out I can't eat Thanksgiving anymore after learning | was conceived during Thanksgiving dinner.
milk_bone . 8y ago So I have a student with 2 last names, but he usually only writes one on his papers. I knew this was because his Dad isn't around, so he goes by his Mom's. Not that unusual. Recently a girl in class was talking about how she was a surprise for her parents so this kid chimes in with At least you weren't a 3 minute bar bathroom mistake!
. 8y ago Not a teacher, I was the one that blabbed. In kindergarten my parents went in for a meet the teacher night. My dad told me my teacher was giggling when they were first introduced. Apparently at sharing time I told the class about how my dad had been on his bicycle and a bee flew up his shorts and stung him on his penis.
cent66 8y ago One of the girls (8th grade) mentioned that she was going to be absent the following day because it was her mom's birthday. The students asked how old she was. Well, after she told them, they were in shock. They suddenly asked my student's age and worked out the math. They found out that her mom was about her daughter's age when she got pregnant. The mom was going to be 29.
kifferella . 8y ago many moons ago, while in kindergarten, middle child informed his entire class, teacher included that I was growing grass in the house. I got to meet a very nice social worker and police officer and show them the trays of sod we were growing as a play/snack area for our guinea pigs.
Kukulkun 8y ago Was teaching Sunday school for K-4 when the kids started talking about their family's farting habits after a kid ripped one. One girl said how her cute older sister had horrid, rancid smelling farts that would go through the whole house. A boy stated that his dad would sneak up on his mom when she was reading and fart right next to her head. The kids were all giggling and I wasn't helping discourage them. So now I giggle every time I see their families at church.
WhitePaintChips 8y ago Not a teacher, but my dad had a good relationship with the kindergarten teachers that taught my brother so they shared some good stories. One of the best was when a police officer came into the classroom one day to talk to the kids and a little girl pointed to his handcuffs and enthusiastically shared My mommy has those on her night stand!
8y ago A piano student said his mother would sing the scales with him as he played them on the piano - and that her singing was so off-key that it would make their dog howl and cover his ears.
sapphon . 8y ago The police said Mommy can't drive cars anymore is definitely the worst I've heard, not because that's a fate worse than death around here but because there's more or less only one way to first-strike lose your license in these parts and it's DWI.
. 8y ago Apparently Katie's dad got her mom a laminating machine for her birthday and was upset when he was sent to the couch.
DeepStateNanny 8y ago This was a classroom of 2nd grade kids. We had these scented markers that all had odd scents. The black marker in particular smelled terrible. It smelled so remarkably bad that it became sort of disruptive because all the kids had to dare each other to smell it. I finally went over to take it away with another teacher and, of course, we had to give it a check. It was terrible. It smelled like a dumpster at Sea World. Like the worst sort of fish death. One last kid had to get a whiff and she
that-writer-kid 8y ago Preschoolers blab ALL the time. The worst is kids with bad home lives, where it's not bad enough to do something (you can't call CPS because someone's mommy got her third proposal in her four year old's lifetime and the kid keeps losing dads). But I also had a kid tell me her dad killed all the koi in their pond once and they made a secret pet store trip so mommy didn't find out. Which is hilarious.
ohjeezandoy . 8y ago I once confiscated a note from a 4th grader that said, My mom says Mr. F has a nasty ass ponytail. Mr. F was the principal.
BridgeKitty. . 8y ago My five year old piano student, Felix, let me know that his mom gets very gassy if she eats beans. Apparently she kept farting in the pool while they were on vacation visiting his grandparents.
tomfc 8y ago I was babysitting a kid while his mom and dad worked one summer. Every day was something different. One day, the kid takes a small dowel like building toy, (a Tinkertoy for those of you familiar with the toy), puts it in his mouth and takes a hit like he is smoking a joint. Не passes is to me, saying here like he is holding in the doobie smoke. I ask what are you doing? Не replies smoking cigarettes like dad and Uncle Jerry.
WIteacher 8y ago Second grade student: My mom thinks she's fat, so she wears really tall underwear.
nyanyiisforlovers 8y ago When I was working as a teacher at a private preschool, one of our 3-year old kids just randomly blurted out My daddy pee-pee in my mommy's mouth! while nodding his head almost matter-of-factly. Needless to say, all of us teachers that heard him had to turn around to keep from laughing!

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