31 Funny Things Students Did That Teachers Couldn’t Laugh At

‘OW MY NUTS!!!’
31 Funny Things Students Did That Teachers Couldn’t Laugh At
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It feels like part of being a teacher is having to walk a fine line. Obviously, you want your students to like you, but if the boundaries crumble just a bit too far, you’re suddenly trying to teach Lord of the Flies to a real-life recreation of it. Which is why, sometimes, even when something undeniably funny happens, you’re forced to keep a straight face.

Over on Reddit, teachers shared some of the funniest moments from their classes that forced unplanned “bathroom breaks” so they could belly laugh in the hallway. After all, encouraging too many attempts at classroom comedy could end in tragedy, like your students attempting to become stand-up comedians. Though, based on the stories below, a couple might want to give it a try.

nerdsarepeople 12y ago (student waiting late after rehearsal) Kid calls home: Hey can you tell mom to pick me up? Oh, she's in the shower...what about dad? He's in the shower too....? Turns to teacher: It's going to be awhile Mr. M
the intersect 12y ago I believe my brother has posted about this before. Our aunt teaches kindergarten, so with 5 year olds, in an unprivileged neighborhood. Often, the kids are exposed to swearing and profanity at a young age. One time, she asked her students to sit Criss-cross Applesauce and one kid wasn't paying attention. His friend next to him whispered, Hey, criss-cross applesauce mother fucker! Needless to say, my aunt couldn't contain her laughter and had to leave the room for a minute.
mrmuzz2 12y ago I taught English at a high school in Spain last year. We did a geography exercise where I would pronounce the English version of a country or body of water's name, and they would repeat it in unison. I came a across the Aegeon Sea, and I had no idea how to pronounce it. In my flustered confusion I tried, and said AY-jeein sea... I think, and without hesitation everyone repeated Aegean-Sea-I- Think. I lost it, and to this day I'm pretty sure they still don't know why.
Last year, my classroom carpet that had the alphabet border around the edges. One of my students, Demetrius, like to sit on the letter D because it was the first letter of his name. One day, Zaria sits on the letter D. Demetrius gets in her face and yells, Zaria! Get off my D! I lost it.
husky430 12y ago When I was a junior in high school, I rolled my snowmobile and was pretty banged up. Namely my mid and lower back was all outta whack. I looked like Quasimodo walking around. One day, in my desktop publishing class, we were all working on something so it was totally silent save for mouse clicks and keyboard taps. | was in one of those plastic school chairs and moved a weird way. My lower back/pelvis popped back into place loudly, and everything from mid-back down relaxed. Including my asshole. I let out an insanely loud BRAAAAAPP that
Another time, a girl asked in complete earnest what the penis thing in the back of her throat was called. I asked if she meant her uvula and a guy in the back responded with Knowing her, she means a penis.
A student walking down the hallway had his Darth Vader mask confiscated by the principal. The kid replied the right way. Не dropped to his knees and did the most perfect Vader The principal looked at me as the hall burst into laughter. I just shrugged because this wasn't the kind of guy to tolerate being the butt of a joke (even if he wasn't actually the butt).
A student is not allowed to use his phone in class. Не pulls up his shirt over his head to make a teepee/phone booth and calls his mom from inside his shirt, as though this would be sound proof. Не is seated in the front row about four feet from me. This is during a final exam. The rest of the room is dead quiet. Не then pops his head out like nothing happened as we all watched (and heard) him demand his mom bring him Wendy's after school.
Woodhouse-pajamas 12y ago Teacher hears a girl's phone vibrating in her purse and says I hope that is a phone. Teacher walks another two steps and realizes what she just said. Class erupts in laughter.
springplum . 12y ago When reading Hamlet with the class, after Ophelia's line about Hamlet, To speak of horrors-he comes before me, a kid said, Hamlet, get it together, man. I cracked up. The other kids didn't get it luckily.
ZerusGoot . 12y ago I was having a conversation with my manager and my year 2 student comes out of the classroom and says very seriously... Can | poop?
viola3458 a 12y ago | had one first grade kid kick another first grade kid in the nuts. On accident, during freeze dance when they were dancing like ninjas. Apparently a 7 year old screaming OW MY NUTS and falling down to the ground tested the limits of my professionalism.
12y ago From when I was teaching preschool - You have blue eyes like my mommy, but her tatas are HUGE! Uh, thanks, kid.
aimlowkid 12y ago Edited 12y ago We were playing the Shakespearean insult game with another English class, where you send the other guys a play, act, scene, and line number that contains a gorgeously archaic insult. So, like, we'd send, Henry the IV Part One, Act Two, Scene Four, lines 225-226 and the other class would look it up and read: This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh! And etc. We were doing that for like a half hour, then my class gets Romeo and Juliet, Act 1, Scene 5, line 5, and when we
superfudge73 . 12y ago I taught a summer school bio class for remedial students a few years ago. We were talking about viruses and I mentioned that herpes was a virus. A girl in the front row raised her hand and asked if it was possible to catch herpes from oral sex. I said yes and the girl said oh shit, then took out her phone and started texting. I just quickly moved on with the lesson.
Story 1: My friend is standing at the front of the room as class is about to begin. The student comes barging in the room and basically yells at my friend, MR G.!! I DON'T NEED YOUR QUESTIONS, | JUST NEED ANSWERS....CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM!? My friend was somewhat stunned, then as he was holding back laughter, he said Sure....
Story 2: My friend is walking down the hallway headed to his classroom as the bell has just run. The hallway is basically empty, except for the aforementioned bathroom student. He's standing at his locker with his backpack right in front of it. My friend walks over and says to the student Hey, you need to get to class to which the kid responds I'm headed there in a second Mr. G. My friend sees him messing with his backpack and being secretive. Fearing he may have something (drugs, weapon, etc), he asks him what he's doing. The kid pulls
corkboy 12y ago Not a teacher but.....in my kid's class when they were smaller, they used to do news, where each kid would tell the class about something interesting that happened. One of the teachers told me this. One little girl said, I couldn't sleep last night so | came back downstairs and Mommy and Daddy were sunbathing in front of the fire.
Drlnsano 12y ago S Edited 12y ago Not my story, but my little brother's. When he was in 1st grade, he told his teacher a joke: Bro: Why did Captain Hook die? Teacher: I don't know, why? Bro: Because he wiped with the wrong hand! Apparently she had to step out of the room for several minutes so she wouldn't be seen laughing at his joke.
OoohlSeeCake . 12y ago One time a kid twisted another kids nipple as he raised his hand to answer a question.
mage12 12y ago My wife is an elementary art teacher, which basically means constant stories. My favorite is from a time when kindergarteners were playing with Play-Doh. Class was ending, and one little fella with a light speech impediment was just standing there, looking down. Wife checks to make sure he's okay, he turns around, showing the little Play-Doh snake he's holding to his crotch and says, Look! Ith a weiner! TL/DR: Ith a weiner.
AnusCleavage 12y ago Im not a teacher but i was in talking to my english teacher about an assignment last year while he was marking a year 8 assignment. For the assignment the students were meant to make example propaganda from nazi germany and one year 8 boy had written on a picture of a concentration camp 'Join the Nazis and you get free pyjamas'. Safe to say she was in hysterics while telling me how she had to call his parents.
ahoykimboat 12y ago I used to teach karate. We have these large kicking bags everywhere around the room, they're solid plastic on the bottom and soft on the part where you kick them, and about five feet tall. They look awesome to climb on if you're 4, but we don't allow that. So one day some kid named Jack is climbing on top of one of the bags, and my coworker yells across the room: Jack! OFF!! I had to leave the room from laughing. My coworker did not understand what was so funny.
Lydious 12y ago Edited 12y ago Not a teacher myself, but in high school I had this history teacher, Mr. Gress. Не was a GREAT teacher- witty, funny, genuinely loved history, didn't favor the preps & jocks like most of the other teachers(which was an absolute epidemic in my school, being that we lived in a college town famous for its football team), didn't put up with shit from anyone, etc. One day, one of the exceptionally ditzy cheerleaders asked him what the homework assignment was after he'd already repeated it several times. One of the stoner girls yelled out
12y ago My friends wife is a high school music teacher, and she told me a story. She went into class and was getting set up, when she sees this kid take his trombone and place it between his legs and slid the slide out going Look, I got a tromboner She said it was very difficult to discipline him while not laughing her ass off.
Lilly_Satou a 12y ago There was a quote in Romeo and Juliet where Lord Capulet says to his wife, Bring me my longsword! Но!, where ho is supposed to be an exclamation, but when the student read it, they read it as if it said Bring me my longsword, ho. and everyone started laughing.
bimble740 12y ago I was on break between periods, teaching a grade 8 class (12-13 year olds). The smallest girl in the class came up to my desk and said So-and-so hit me. I figured it was just inappropriate flirting and said Hit him back. She walked over, picked up a wooden stool and let him have a two-armed swing that connected with the back of his head. Не dropped. When he got up he looked at me, I said Don't hit girls. I think we all learned something that day.
jonthemaud • . 12y ago Any time (and during 1st grade recess it happens quite a bit) a kid gets hit with a ball in the face or beans | have to forcibly suppress outrageous laughter, I mean come on
c74r3byw . 12y ago Right. Took my kids out on a lesson trip - we had to get a train somewhere, and one of my students is only 8 years old, so I let them go through the ticketed barrier with me. Yeah, he wasn't quick enough and the barrier smacked him in the face. I've never wanted to laugh so hard in my life.
-1 asked my class if anyone could define the word Excruciating, and when no one raised their hand, a student said, Thanks Obama. I love my job.
12y ago I was showing my 8th graders how objects fall at the same rate, regardless of mass. I dropped a medicine ball with a basketball on top of it. The way they bounce makes the basketball go soaring. Anyway, | had a sprained wrist at the time, so one of my students offered to drop the balls for me. But, when he did, the basketball hit the medicine ball at an odd angle and bounced back at him and hit him right in the nuts.

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