30 Toys, Gadgets and Hobbies That Aren’t for the Faint of Heart

Warning: These might trigger some past playtime PTSD
30 Toys, Gadgets and Hobbies That Aren’t for the Faint of Heart
Add Cracked to Google

Apologies in advance to the older folks who thought these were just a bad dream. We hate to inform you that they were in fact physical objects that caused you emotional and/or physical harm. 

Instead of scouring the globe for these facts, we dove into your subconscious and pulled them back out into the light. That may have been a bit intrusive, so again, we apologize. On the plus side, they’ll serve as a warning for kids to stay away. It’s good to know that your sacrifice was not for nothing!

Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine

THE SNOOPY 9 PLACE MOST SWART THE ORIGINAL Snoopy SNO-CONE Sno-cone Machine MACHINE MAKE A SNOOPY TASTY TREAT CONTAINS A WITH ICE CUBES & FLAVOR PACK! LOOSE BRASS RIVET . WARNING: CHOKUNG RAJARD NET WT 50 OZ (4.77g) THAT CAN CAUTION FICEM NATURE + 52131 - DROP INTO THE SNOW CONES. It's been recalled. GRAGKED.COM http://www toysrusinc com/safety/recalls/snoopy-sno-cone-machine/

The Car

CRACKED CAR STOP STOP KC GA KM THE CAR PL The 1978 horror movie The Car - not at the top of James Brolin's resume by any stretch - spawned a game that never made it, in which players competed not to get run over by Satan.

Batman Squirt Gun

1. REMOVE THE PLUG FROM BATMAN'S BUTT. 2. FILL WITH WATER. 3. PUMP HIS TRIGGER. 4. SQUIRT YOUR FRIENDS! GRAGKED.COM http://herocomplex latimes com/uncategorized/ top-10-vintage-batman-toys-for-your-inner-boy-wonder/

Javelin Darts

CRACKED.COM IT TOOK DEAD CHILDREN TO BAN LAWN DARTS. Contains 4 JAVELIN DARTS 2 TARGET CIRCLES HASBRO JAVELIN DARTS If you're going, What the hell were they thinking to sell huge flying metal spikes to play with, V you're not alone. The U.S. banned them for good in the late '80s-but only after they had caused thousands of injuries (and a few deaths) over three decades.

Bratz

CRACKED.COM BRATZ BABYZ SHOW YOU'RE NEVER TOO YOUNG TO BE A MINX. - in These dolls went through the whole process of being conceived, designed, pitched, approved, manufactured, and distributed, and apparently no one along the line thought of saying, You know, maybe we really shouldn't sexualize babies.

Karl Marx Action Figure

CRACKED COM YOU CAN GO HIKING WITH KARL MARX AND HIS FRIENDS! MOUNTAIN RESEARCH Japanese toy maker Mountain Research released a foursome of surveyors modeled after Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin, Mao Zedong, and Henry David Thoreau. There's no indication as to why two Communist dictators, the philosopher who inspired them, and an unrelated poet guy are hiking mountain trails.

Megatron

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE ROBS A 7-ELEVEN WITH MEGATRON CRACKED.COM

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Wild West Line

In 1992 we saw our fun loving pal Michelangelo turn into an angry mexican stereotype. In an effort to pack even more racism into the Wacky Wild West line, Playmates included Chief Leo. CRACKED.COM

Electronic Mall Madness

GRAGKED.COM Max Out Your Credit! Get Unlimited $ from the ATM! Spend! Spend! Spend! NESS MB ELECTRONIC - MALL MADNESS THE TALKING SHOPPING SPREE GAME I - I I I Sale in the EAST MONEY SALE Spend the Most & WIN! Teach M Your Kids - - - - - - when AU - - - - - FINANCIAL IRRESPONSIBILITY!

Spanish Barbie

Collected Olé! Fun: Reinforcing Ethnic Stereotypes SPANISH While Glamorizing Barbie Animal Cruelty. 20 MINI DONOR FOR - CRACKED COM esmain

Crash Test Dummies

HI KIDS! WE'RE VINCE AND LARRY, THE CRASH DUMMIES. - LIBRY COME WITH US AS WE TEACH YOU ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF SAFETY BELTS, AND... --DEAR GOD! I'VE KILLED THIS CAT AND DOG! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?! TITU CRACKED.COM

Playmobil Bank-and-Safe Playset

GRAGKED.COM playmobil bank and safe playset bust open the VOT ATM with the CITY ACTION 2219 screwdriver playmobil goodhold 246 DE MARI LIT UIS 4-10 5177 126pc or go full blown Patty Hearst with included gun

Crocodile Dentist

GRACKED.COM - This is the new version CROCODIS of SAMPLE - DAMING DENTISTRY WHAT DID IT Look LIKE BEFORE? I feed on the Thumbs of Children

Boglins

CRACKED.COM FORAGES 5 & OVER BOGLINS OUTRAGEOUS CREATURES THAT COME ALIVE IN YOUR HANDS! Flesh-like texture Eyes that move Looks like aborted troll fetus ONLY! DON'T POKE WARE: GERSTHROUGH BARS! 20 years of nightmares NDLE THROUGH BOTTO MATTEL DWORK

Mickey Bag Clips

CRACKED.COM DisneyPARKS AUTHENTIC ORIGINAL - MI MICKEY BAG CLIPS MICKEY EAR BAG CLIPS

Baby Cages

Live in an apartment with no fresh air for junior? The baby cage solves y our problem! CRACKED.COM ©Gent Images

Wolverine Blow-Up Squeaky Hammer

FL TM This is the end of the handle of a Wolverine blow-up squeaky hammer, fully licensed by Marvel. AS you can see, the blow valve was placed in an interesting spot... CRACKED.COM

E.T. Finger Light

CRACKED.COM No 4111 The E.T. E.T. Finger Light/ Finger Finger Light Glows When Pressed Ages 4 and Okey Helping BATTERY INCOUDED kids have fun in the dark

Candy Pez Shooter

A toy gun that shoots delicious Pez candies? 98 98 fun to eat fun to shoot Ready- Aim- Fire! PEZ SHOOTER DISPENSER SEE BACK FOR EXCITING TARGET GAME ANY BASTEN REZ P D E2 P E2 B E 2 I PE2 - MAIN What could possibly go wrong? CRACKED COM

Pokemon Stylus

CRACKED.COM In 2005, this promotional Nintendo DS Japan Mew stylus was actually V released in by Nintendo as tie-in. Sales were quickly halted for obvious reasons. Unopened Mew styluses now sell for ~$300 on the secondary market.

The Amazing Spider-Man Chair

CRACKED.COM THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 44.99 But Daddy, I don't want to sit on the Spiderman chair, he's looking up at me as I sit on him, I think he's about to jump out.

Kaba-Kick Russian Roulette

KABA KICK! SAMER /٣ + ZER F 7 !!! it byt-! ! PÖKK! by 79H azeru.... !! L ВЛАЗЕРИ... TO ХИЦИ 302424 DO -- 985 adidas - Kaba-Kick Russian Roulette! All the fun of Russian Roulette without all the pesky fatalities! CRACKED.COM

Sitting on Donald Duck’s Face

The Origi Rock Hey, kids... Wanna ride on Donald Duck's... belly? Olimate RIU CRACKED COM

Panzer IV Construction Playset

Nazi Happy Nazis Tank Discovery AGES 6+ KIDS + 18 over 160 PIECES Panzer IV CONSTRUCTION PLAYSET WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD-Small parts. Not for children under 3 years. CRACKED.COM WOLLD сдерван - your

Musical Jolly Chimp

CRACKED GOM YOUR CHILDREN WON'T FEEL BATTERY OPERATED MULTI ACTIONS AFRAID ANYMORE. IN FACT... MUSICAL JOLLY CHIM MUSICAL HOLY S**T! JOLLY CHIMP! ...THEY WON'T FEEL ANYTHING. NEVERMORE.

Wonder Woman Safety Scissors

GRAGKED.COM WONDER WOMAN SAFETY SCISSORS

Buzz Lightyear Sippy Cup

CRACKED COM aldevomaR Yep, growanat2 | 1 - - - I I this happened and no one in marketing caught it.

Doggie Doo

Doggie Doo - - WHEN YOU COTTA GO YOU GOTTA GO WARNING: A CHIKING NAZARD -Small para Soluin 14 to Includes 3.5 Oz (100 g) of Play Dog Food - - children-under dyn Doggie Doo: The only game that teaches your child how to over-feed your dog so you can pick up its shit! CRACKED.COM

Breast Milk Baby

- Date H The I US weight driped No - the Inportance deri I The I W - Chocolate - I by labor's - - 2 The in in - Pater ب and - 1 Chup - to - - Chup The - - - - - - Chup the - Party - The 2 The Breas Breast 3 Milk Dil Milk Baby. Bluuurp سيسة The first breastfeeding doll Hip.hip Begian - La première poupée nourria ou sein Die erste Puppe zum stillen De cerete borstvoedingspop 1 Just Like Mommy!* Now your infant daughter can experience what it's like to make every adult

Light-Switch Jesus

Manufactured by the Hartland Plastics Company of Wisconsin, the 4th Commandment Switch Plate was touted as Perfect for a child's room, nursery ... 2576 NEW! 4th COMMANDMENT SWITCH PLATE Perfect for: child's room nursery hospitals, etc STATE Tr - - ecreis ADDE . RELIGIOUS THEME to ANY ROCH HONOR THY FATHER and THY MOTHER Hartland PLASTICS, INC. HARTLAND WISCONSIN We guess no one at the company thought to install the lightswitch first before mass producing them. CRACKED.COM

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

VIRAL ON CRACKED

A WEEKLY
NEWSLETTER OF
JOKES + TRIVIA

Forgot Password?