32 Wildly Stupid Things People Did to Get Fired

‘They decided to deliver pizzas in a stolen car’
32 Wildly Stupid Things People Did to Get Fired

You ever have a friend who gets fired, whom you obviously comfort, only to find out that they probably deserved it? There are plenty of people, especially in this profit-over-people world we live in, who are let go for thoroughly crappy reasons. There are also, however, thoroughly crappy coworkers who are very reasonably let go.

Coworkers and bosses on Reddit have shared their stories of someone who shouldn’t have been the least bit surprised to receive their pink slip. Read below for a whole lot of reassurance that however bad you are at your job, there are worse employees out there, and a shocking amount of them seemingly can’t make it through the work day without a dose of pornography.

Duffalpha . 11y ago One of my maintenence guys tried to stab a guy over a bag of dirt. Company dirt. DIRT.
kazador . 11y ago Worked at a nightclub. One if the workers called in sick, but he was actually going to some party instead. Could you guess where they went after the party? Yes, to our nightclub.
MorallyDeplorable . 11y ago Manager at a delivery joint here, we had to let someone go because they decided to deliver pizzas in a stolen car.
yooki42 a 11y ago We worked at a place that bought in used cell phones. She bought a cell phone from a guy and his Facebook was still open. She posted as the guy on his Facebook something like I'm a big fucking idiot. Guy came back to complain. She was fired.
 . 11y ago One of the lifeguards was really hungover so he took a shit in the pool so we didn't have to open up for the day.
mckeanna 11y ago I was managing a restaurant and did morning cash out (I checked all slips against the information in the computer). I noticed a new hire had really good tip averages the day before when I had been paying her out. The next day I was going through her slips and noticed a... discrepancy. Mainly that she had added a 1 in front of each tip and changed the total. How could I tell you ask? SHE USED DIFFERENT COLOR INK!
sicklyfun C 11y ago I had to fire this kid from a gas station I worked at, after he asked me if | ever poked holes in the condoms with a push pin (as he proceeded to punch holes in condoms) I have no idea how long he was doing it for he worked there for over a year.
aardvarkious 11y ago I worked in a fast food kiosk in an amusement park. We had a machine that cooked our burgers and toasted our buns: one of those ones where the food goes through on a conveyor belt. One day, it was raining. While walking to the kiosk, a girl got wet. So, logically, she took her clothes off and put them through the machine so the heat could dry them. Her shirt caught on fire and set the kitchen sprinklers off. Her shoe forced the two toasting plates in the bun section far apart, creating a large repair
I worked with a guy who was fired for regularly watching porn at his desk. They talked to him several times and he just never stopped.
deuce hobo . 11y ago A couple of coworkers decided to start dealing cocaine at the hospital we worked at, and thought using the internal email system was a good way to keep in touch with customers.
tleb . 11y ago Receptionist who forgot to wear pants. I was at a satelite office and had 4 employees call me seperately to let me know. There were some previous issues, plus they were pretty sure she was on something.
 . 11y ago One of my technicians used our remote software to start typing to a girl who's machine he took control of. Не opened notepad, wrote what up slut and then went to pornhub. Supervisor gets an email about sexual harassment the same day and he's gone the next morning.
 11y ago Not a boss, but HR. Had a guy on a temporary work comp transitional assignment at a retail store. His regular job had very good pay, a lot of benefits, etc. The moron stole a used scuba suit from his temporary job site, on camera. Bonus: we're well over 1,000 miles from any ocean.
PostComa . 11y ago I had an employee who was getting drunk on the job. I found him in a hallway, on the floor, wasted. Не told me that he got bad headaches and the only cure was champagne on crushed ice.
NCC74656 11y ago a PC technician was being pestered with questions from a customer about sales stuff. he lost it and while looking the customer square in the face (the employee had his eyes closed however) said: GET AWAY FROM ME OR ILL EAT YOUR FACE. it took half the day to get over the laughter and WTF of the situation before we could even begin on paperwork.
 . 11y ago | told him to stop getting high before work. I even told him he was a good worker when not high, and that I didn't care what he did off the clock. I literally told him that people could smell weed on him, and that he acted like an idiot while high. Не apologized, agreed with me, even offered up the fact that it was, in fact, affecting his work. Next day: shows up stoned to the bone. Sorry, guy. You're fired.
ImScaryTerry Bitch . 11y ago Edited 11y ago In high school a guy I knew stole a giant Ronald McDonald made of legos from the McDonalds he worked at. It was one of those guess the number of pieces contests. Не got away with it, but later on he was busted for stealing boxes of hash brown wrappers with monopoly game pieces on them. Cops show up at his place to arrest him over the hash browns, lo and behold there sits Ronald in the middle of his room.
sonofpam . 11y ago . Edited 11y ago A concessions attendant gave a pot brownie to my 75 year old door person at my movie theatre. She didn't press charges but he had to go. No paperwork on it either. | had him resign.
 . 11y ago Forgot cheese on cheese pizza, twice.
PatrickBuchanan 11y ago Years ago we had a guy get caught selling porn off a website hosted from his government computer. This was back in the days when the network security was extremely lax. The only reason this guy got caught was because he took his computer into IT and asked them to clean it up because it was running slow. We've also had guys get caught for stealing controlled items and selling them on the local craigslist without even bothering to remove any of the identifying marks.
Donnelly14 . 11y ago Putting a customers info in the system as: first name: don't care. Last name: smells like shit.
Hartastic 11y ago I worked with a guy who got fired for buying porn on EBay all day at work. I thought this was pretty out there until I saw the other porn at work stories here. But still, I think this takes the cake because he was internet-savvy and still paying for second- hand porn DVDs. That's varsity level work- porn-stupid.
quithittingme 11y ago Had an employee get caught get caught rolling 20 blunts in the produce cooler(he did offer to share). Another incident all of lobsters kept dieing off several times. Several thousands of dollars worth of lobsters even after cleaning the tank a couple of times in case there were some lobster hating germs in there. Turns outs, one of the overnight floor cleaners was staging gladitorial lobster battles. Unfortunately he forgot to wash his hands that were covered in floor cleaning chemicals. Did not bode well for Spartacus and his armored brethren.
littleyee 11y ago Worked at KFC. Guy got fired for doing cocaine at work. In the office. Where there are cameras. In hindsight, probably should have seen it coming. Не showed up to the interview with shirt with the Wheel of Fortune board on it. Said G_ F_CK Y_RS_LF and underneath that Would you like to buy a vowel? (guess that was his nicest shirt?). Also, I once saw him eat ice out of a bucket that had raw standing chicken water.
cmpfeif 11y ago Edited 11y ago Had to fire a guy because he was breaking into rural farm homes and stealing prescription medication. Не would knock on the door and if someone answered he'd ask if they were selling farm equipment then leave, if nobody answered he took it as an invitation. During one heist some personal information fell out of his truck and the cops ended up calling us. He's currently serving 10 years in jail.
severinusofnoricum 11y ago Guy who worked in the mailroom figured he could score a new laptop by ordering one in the CEO's name and forging a purchase order. Someone busted him before the laptop even arrived.
captdet . 11y ago One of my salesmen had a customer stop during a test drive so he could buy some crack. On the up side he did offer to share it with them.
 . 11y ago There was one time I had to fire someone because I sent him out on a job that would only take 2-3 hours to complete. Before he left, he mentioned to the receptionist that he was going to make it last all day. She mentioned it to me, and sure enough, he returned over 8 hours later.
Internet Validation 11y ago Wasn't the boss sorry, but a coworker at the gas station job I had in high school got fired for just pulling scratch-off lottery tickets off the roll and scratching them off right on the counter. Directly in front of the security cameras we all knew about.
maito_gbalo_tetare O 11y ago Edited 11y ago Had an employee show everyone, every other employee and every customer his really really big pocket knife. Не always follows his big reveal with a smug: Largest one allowed by law!. After being repeatedly told to knock it off (we worked at helpdesk for crying out loud!) I had to can him.
Thin-White-Duke . 11y ago My mom once had to fire this one guy. Не kept making sexual comments about a coworker. Не was given warnings. So, he switched to doing it in Spanish. The girl was from Mexico, she spoke Spanish. Не got fired.
45MinutesOfRoadHead 11y ago This guy always tried to hide at work to avoid working. One day I was looking for him and I stepped into the bathroom. I notice a shoe print on the back of the toilet, and I look up and one of the ceiling tiles is pushed a little to the side. I climb up there, and this mother fucker is hiding in the ceiling.

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