31 of the Fastest Firings People Have Witnessed

‘My acid just kicked in’
31 of the Fastest Firings People Have Witnessed

Unless you hate your coworker, it sucks to see a colleague get fired. But sometimes, the swiftness of the termination not only makes the situation funny, but it adds a certain Guinness World Record energy to the mix. Redditors have issued a few detailed pink slips for former coworkers with noteworthy firings — from a wet willy giver to a bus driver who let a kid drive — and it’s honestly amazing that these people thought something other than getting fired could possibly be the result of their actions.

ranger4787 . 1 153d I was training a new manager at a hotel on the midnight shift almost 20 years ago. She'd literally been working with me for 5 minutes when I decided to show her around. Opened a boardroom door and caught our lead bartender plowing a guest on the granite conference table. Не was out the lobby door holding his pants up within 90 seconds. Не was immortalized as a legend forever though. ... Reply 211
Sea-Kitchen3779 . 153d Was caught stealing money out of the register in the first hour of him even touching the damn thing.
Red-Dwarf69 . 1 153d Working security at a concert venue. Coworker confiscated a mini bottle of Fireball that someone snuck in, and then he drank it in front of everyone. Instantly went from confiscation (part of the job) to stealing and also drinking on the job. ... Reply 876
BrokkenArrow . 153d I saw a coworker once make a big boobs gesture as our boss' wife walked past....with our boss walking right behind her. Не was packing his shit within 5 minutes. ... Reply 15.4k
Useful_Exchange3583 .1 153d A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh- bye! Reply 7.4k
mistrwzrd . 153d Restaurant opening. His first day on the job. Smacked a server's ass and said Thanks toots. I think he maybe lasted 2 hours that day max. I can't think of anyone else I fired faster than that. ... Reply 1.6k
ThatsRubbishMate . 1 153d Worked in a restaurant and when the table wanted to return their Mai Tai the server chugged it right in front of them and said it tastes fine ... Reply 479
JenntheGreat13 . 153d New person got access to medical records system. Week 2 - Looked up our boss and bragged about it. Was Walked out and gone the second week. ... Reply 3.3k
themoistdonut . 153d First day on the job, gave another coworker a wet-willy. Shit you not. ... Reply 9.5k
GoldenGod48 . 153d Worked at a grocery store a few years ago. A new guy was hired and on the second day on the job, he was caught stealing food. Не would grab items off the shelves and walk to the break room and eat them. ... Reply 1.7k
BurghFinsFan . . 153d Guy offered the boss cocaine on his second day. ... Reply 678
BigNotGay420 . . 153d First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. Не can't keep up, can barely use a tape gun and decides its time for break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the bosses lunch, he stole the guys meal his wife prepared for him. Boss man came over 15 mins later and wants to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers and BBQ on his shirt he denies it. I just look at
walkingknight . 153d Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR--and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot. ... Reply 7.9k
Selios2112 . 153d My first job was in a small grocery store and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc). She replied: I only do my own dishes, somebody else put these here so I'm not doing them. I'm serious. Fire me if you want, I won't do them. Boss says Okay then, don't bother finishing your shift, goodbye! ... Reply 1.7k
AaronKMartinez 153d Half an hour. Working in Arby's, new girl shows up. They run her through how to work the cash register on a few dummy orders. She takes a real order or two and then it gets slow. She asks to duck out for a minute to smoke and never came back. Register ended up being $100 short that day. ... Reply 2.3k
ThirstyWeirwoodRootz . 1 153d I work with special needs individuals. A coworker of mine who had started 3 days prior got fired for getting into a fistfight...with one of the special needs individuals ... Reply 146
huiscloslaqueue . 1 153d First day at work he took one look at his would-be boss and declared I won't work under a woman. So he was shown the door. ... Reply 1.5k
DoubleShoryuken . 153d Within two weeks a new hire was found sleeping in the middle of a fort of inventory he made. They walked him out immediately ... Reply 255
noblemile . 153d Dude showed up to his first day after taking acid. Told the boss his acid kicked in. ... Reply 3.3k
Doodlebug365 . 1 153d During drop-off hours, our preschool receptionist decided she needed to have coffee asap. Instead of heading down to our staff room and making a pot, she decided to leave our whole school unlocked and left to go down to Biggby Coffee. That was a big no no. She was fired as soon as she came back. ... Reply 2.4k
Tylensus . 153d Got yelled at for being late. Said some insane shit to the boss over it, got sent to talk with HR, threatened HR with his gun, then the police showed up and I never saw him again. You'll never guess what career he really wanted, but got 'scammed out of'. ... Reply 4.6k
Brett707 . 153d I worked it in a high school. We hired a new hs tech. Не came to shadow me for a few days. I told him don't fuck with money or kids and you're golden. Two weeks later he was dating a high school senior. Fired on the spot. ... Reply 981
ghost_dini1 . 1 153d New guy comes in and is suspiciously overzealous. Around 11am he takes everyone's lunch order (and cash) and just never came back. ... Reply 832
LonelyDragonborn -1 153d I work at a local grocery store and one day we had a new hire in the bakery department. Her first day comes around and she no-called and no-showed for her first day...then a few days later comes in and shops like nothing happened ... Reply 409
 . 153d The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. Не didn't answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside. Guy was fast asleep, under his desk. Не was gone before you could say hangover. ... Reply 5.2k
Beestung 153d Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn't answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. Не was warned. Next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down. ... Reply 6.9k
IsilZha 153d Saw someone in a customer service/intake position gone in about 15 minutes. They had specifically been hired to take Spanish speaking calls, and had told the company she was bilingual im English/Spanish. She couldn't actually speak any Spanish. Not sure how she faked her way through the interview. ... Reply 318
Island_Maximum . 153d A guy got fired at my bar for shaving his head in the beer cooler. Why? His kids had lice. Не even sang a song about how he was high and shaving on the boss man's time. There's a video too, you can see the GM staring in wtf shock in the background. ... Reply 1.8k
ThislsMy2ndA - 153d I used to work at a small business. A new hire made a comment in passing that he didn't support gay marriage. Somehow he failed to realize that the two women who owned the place were a lesbian couple. ... Reply 127
Danobing 153d I worked at a company where this guy had something going on with another girl at the company. Something happened between them and he sent her an email apologizing. Her last name started with an A and he accidentally picked all staff verses her name. The owner was there in 20 mins and canned his ass. ... Reply 302
DudebroggieHouser 153d Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he'd just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register. ... Reply 5.2k


Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?