25 Horrifying ‘How Do You Not Know How to Do This?’ Adulting Fails

‘My man did not know what time zone we lived in’
25 Horrifying ‘How Do You Not Know How to Do This?’ Adulting Fails

I cannot tell you how deeply I despise the modern slang verb “adulting.” To me, it’s practically an oxymoron. If you were really “adulting,” you’d be capable of describing basic life skills without resorting to infantilized language that sounds like something one of the Rugrats would say.

That said, there is a need for people to understand, on basic terms, how to go about life. Finding out someone you know is incapable of, for example, opening a can of beans? It definitely reframes them slightly in your mind. 

To that end, Redditors have shared the most jaw-dropping deficits in basic day-to-day proficiency that someone they knew ever accidentally displayed, including a young man who didn’t know his way around an egg.

theantpantsdance 5y ago When my friend bought a house a month into home ownership she asked me, very pissed off, when the city was coming to cut her lawn because it's starting to look like weeds. It was awkward when I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone. 6.9K ...
 5y ago I had to jump a friends car that wouldn't start. It had a hard time but I finally got it running. She immediately turns off the car and says, thanks so much I'll call you later! - 2.9K ...
whotiesyourshoes 5y ago I had a relative try to put her son on the school bus his first day if kindergarten and got upset when the driver refused to let him on because he wasnt on the list. She never registered him for school and just thought she could put him on the bus and send him. 1.7K ...
GotGhostsInMyBlood 5y ago Had to ask my roommate to please wash his hands after touching raw chicken. Не was cool to just...go about his day before I asked. Не thought I was being a wacko neat freak.
gummygoob 5y ago I work graveyard shift and I had to explain to a coworker that at midnight, 12:00 am/0000 hours, it is the start of a new day. She then had an anxiety attack because I was telling her that today is not Monday anymore, today is Tuesday now 2K ...
Winterlight8044 5y ago My ex best friend had told me that she had needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner, the 3rd that month. I asked her what was wrong with it and she said It's not picking things up anymore! So | asked if she had dumped out the container... she didn't know that was a thing. 6K ...
katartsis 5y ago Edited 5y ago Okay this is not quite a whilst adulting but... For as long as | can remember, my father had red eyes after showering. | didn't even think about it. One day as a teenager a friend slept over and in the morning she saw my dad dressed and ready for work, freshly showered, red- eyed. She asked him why his eyes were red and he simply said shampoo. She then very carefully and as respectfully as she could muster asked him why he didn't close his eyes, and he laughed and said what do
maekae_ 5y ago Girl | went to HS with: why do people say a quarter of an hour? Like what does that even mean? Me: it's 15 minutes. Because 15 is a fourth of 60, so that's a quarter of an hour Her: looking at me like I'm a fucking idiot But a quarter is 25... Me: ... 1.2K ...
AnotherLizLemon 5y ago Edited 5y ago I had a friend who I noticed took Mucinex A LOT. I've used it occasionally, when I've been congested, but it seemed abnormal how often I saw him taking it. I finally asked him why he was taking it one time, because he didn't seem sick at all, and he looked puzzled and said well, I think I'm getting sick. | pressed further and he said because it's an expectorant. It turns out he thought you take an expectorant when you are EXPECTING to get sick. 14K ...
Thejustinset 5y ago Edited 5y ago I had a roommate at university who's cooking method was put baked beans in a Tupperware, seal the lid, turn on microwave, when lid pops and explodes beans everywhere they're cooked.
Fantastic_Relief 5y ago Edited 5y ago One of roommates in college would go though plastic spatulas like crazy. She'd melt them and wouldn't say anything about it. She'd only tell me when I'd go to use it and wonder why it was messed up. She'd always say it was due to the spatula being made of cheap plastic. No. I finally caught her one day. She'd be cooking something and would walk away LEAVING THE PLASTIC SPATULA IN THE PAN WHILE IT WAS STILL ON!
Cat_Vonnegut 5y ago My wonderful, selfless, beautiful younger brother asked me how to make ice last year. He's 24. 4K ...
almostdidbutdidnt 5y ago This is like 10 years ago. | was dating a 32 year old and he asked me if I wanted to get together to watch a TV show. I said sure, what time is it on. Не looks it up and says to me 8 Pacific 9 Central...? I asked what was confusing him and he told me he wasn't sure if the show was on at 8 or 9. My man did not know what timezone we lived in. So I was like Ok, well you know what ocean we're near, right? cuz I was trying
ilikeyourswatch 5y ago Oh I have a really funny one, I hope it doesn't get buried! Years ago, I bought a friend an electric kettle as a gift. Her boyfriend (who I'm still friends with and who passed along this story) came home one night to find her running out the front door of their apartment with the flaming kettle, and she threw it into the street. She was screaming about how it was a piece of junk because when she put it on the stove, over a flame, it caught fire and started to melt. Не was laughing uncontrollably
MeesterPepper 5y ago Every few weeks | catch my roommate trying to put his metal tea strainer in the microwave. This is inspite of the fact that our first week living in this apartment, he destroyed the microwave and had to pay for a new one because he put a metal tea strainer in the microwave. 37K ...
cynicalkerfuffle 5y ago 19yo dude: How do you cook a fried egg? Gave him instructions and left him to it. Came back a while later to ask how it went. Fine in the end but it took a few attempts because the yolk kept breaking. What do you mean kept breaking? Well I kept throwing them away because I thought breaking the yolk made it poisonous. Once again, he was 19 years old. 20K ...
Rawr_Boo 5y ago Reminds me of when I was dating a 19yo dude. I explained that eating raw nuts is healthy so he bought a bag of peanuts. Не complained two days later that he was going to stop eating them because they upset his stomach so I got a free bag of peanuts, yay! Не was stunned when he saw me shelling them and eating the nut. Because he was eating them shell and all. For two days. Surprisingly did not end well, but i got a lot of terrible sex and dumbass stories out of it. - 11K
Hans_Brix_III 5y ago Three months into our freshman year of college a friend of mine developed a rash. | suggested he look into hypoallergenic sheets and swap out his others. His response: I've used the same sheets since we moved in, it's not the sheets. Mind you, not the same <type> of sheets, but the same exact sheets unchanged and slept/eaten upon/etc. for three months. 3.1K ...
rhythmrOgue 5y ago Worked at an on campus store that sold a lot of essentials for students living at dorms. I had one girl ask me what laundry detergent was because she never did laundry. She asked if I could help her do her laundry but I declined as I couldn't leave the register, which of course she was mad about. Sorry I have to actually do my job lady. 17K ...
BroffaloSoldier 5y ago My friend in college once lamented, ugh. | have to pee and I just put a tampon in like five minutes ago. I hate having to pull them out dry. Also it's such a waste. Her mother taught her that there is only one hole down there and peeing with a tampon in is not possible. It will fuck up your bladder. Took a lot of me showing articles and diagrams and answering questions to convince her there are, indeed, two holes. She peed while the tampon was still in and called her mother in utter shock
ReddishWedding2018 5y ago Edited 5y ago A friend who was pushing 40 had never paid a bill before. She had gone from living with her parents to living in a dorm to living with her parents again until she got married, then she got divorced and was living on her own for the first time. Got a text from her asking if my power was out too, then she realized it was just her. Her excuse was she never paid attention to the bills because she thought they were receipts and that the cost was included in her rent. Her
TopRamenisha 5y ago I have many great stories about my former college roommate. Two of my favorites are: she wanted to make pasta. She put a pot on the stove and poured the noodles in (no water in the pot), turned on the stove. After a while she asked me how come these aren't getting soft like when my mom makes them? she made brownies from a box. The box instructions say grease the bottom of an 8x8 pan before pouring in the brownie batter. You bet your ass this bitch picked up the 8x8 pan, flipped it over, greased
meminio 5y ago Maybe I'm late into this but my GF's grandfather had started to be, let's say less accurate when peeing standing and leaving a mess in the washroom. I suggested that there's nothing wrong with sitting down for peeing and that would make life easier for everybody. All her family stared at me like in shock. True my GF and her family didn't know that males can pee while sitting. Everybody in that family thought that as a male, the only physical way to pee is standing. I was almost asked to demonstrate in front of them that
shadownights23x 5y ago Had a guy constantly asking what time jt is...by the 6th time I said bro,there is a clock right there he said | don't know how to read it...grown ass man.. Couple weeks later on facebook someone shared a picture of cursive writing he made fun of the people who couldn't read it... posted a picture of a clock and said what time does this say...he blocked me 27K ...
snowman818 5y ago I've got two. A girl I knew in college. Her dad called once to remind her that every so often she needed to put oil in her truck. She did. Then her truck started smelling like french fries and then died. Even after trying to explain it, she couldn't understand that this was directly related to the quart of vegetable oil she put in the motor.

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