48 Funny Tweets About Sleep to Doze Off To

Couch sleepy is its own thing
48 Funny Tweets About Sleep to Doze Off To

People in their twenties love bragging about staying at the club until closing time or pulling all-nighters to study for exams, but they don’t deserve praise for this. Twentysomethings are basically human raccoons, and they spend an entire decade re-learning lessons like “Breakfast is good for you, actually,” or “Wow! I feel so good when I go to bed before 1 a.m.”

In reality, it’s the rest of us who deserve praise, because there’s nothing more terrifying than being awake during business hours. The true testament of grit, determination and badassery is pulling an all-day-er.   

But regardless of where you fall on the sleep spectrum — capable of powering through a whole day without a nap or incapable of any kind of human function before 10 a.m. — reading these hilarious tweets is certainly a lot more fun than counting sheep.

mom mom mom mom mom Follow @notmythirdrodeo My kid lovingly posted a Do Not Disturb- Let Mom Sleep sign on my door last night and then opened that door every five minutes this morning to see if I was awake yet in case you were wondering what Mother's Day is really like. 9:34 AM May 12, 2024 245.8K Views
M isterD @MisterD78UK. 1d Welcome to adulthood: you're always sleepy unless you're trying to get to sleep 21 846 5K 82K
Pastor Kyle. @itsqail 20h ... Wyd after work? Going to bed bro the sun is setting in 20 minutes 82 17.5K 120K 2.2M
out of context dogs @contex... . 1d ... Sharing bed with dog be like 66 2,889 22K 954K
BIG мо... @JaYunnaMonae 14h ... LAV My face when I wake up from a nap and Apple done got me for 2.99 5.99 10.99 15.99 324 13.7K 63K 1.6M
badass cutie @lilcosmicowgirl - 1d ... it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here 183 37.3K 277K 3.3M
ThePeoplesElbow @Idris_Elb... . 1d ... We must protect moms at all costs M Mom Today 8:03 PM So exactly 30 years ago right now i made risotto and then went to bed too tired to eat a bite! Guess what happened next!!! 49 228 20.6K 421K
Sammy Samuel Mowrey @s... 21h ... Just thought you should know I woke from a dead sleep to write this note in my phone: 12:25 < All iCloud ... Gender neutral terms for anatomy Penix 17 92 2,223 51.9K
andi (e/alb) @Nexuist 1d ... roommate still hasn't noticed I've been raising the oxygen in our apartment air composition by 0.5% every day and that's why we can do everything on 3 hours of sleep 169 3.9K 155K 4.7M
@wearevibin - 1 17h ... Allegedly. @silentstrangr-1 17h Y'all be snoring? 208 19.2K 88.7K 5.7M
Renée @AmarRenee 20h Waiting for your laundry to finish before you go to bed feels like prison 12 4,311 31K 553K
colourfulmula @ColourfulMula 5h ... When that bubble guts wake you up out your sleep at 3am. 40 1,470 9,998 268K
Mark Sundstrom @106th - 10h ... You know it's summer when this is how you sleep under the sheet LEAVE YOUR INHIBITIONS AT THE DOOR... PAU VERHOEVEN GIRLS SHOW THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. LLECTOR.COM 14 366 5,036 156K
soul nate @MNateShyamalan1 14h absolutely heinous to put spongebob squarepants on a sphere. this goes against everything he stood for nym TM @aretteepls 1d How am I supposed to sleep when this is outside my window 127 6.4K 109K 3.6M
hannah louise @hannahlouisef 19h ... this list is for a different kind of person 1. Not setting a morning alarm. During the pandemic, I found I didn't need to set one. Now, I very rarely do. It means I don't start the day with the hideous stress of the alarm going off - I wake up naturally, when I've had enough sleep. Dr Neil Stanley, sleep expert The Guardian @guardian 1d 100 tiny changes to transform your life: from the one-minute rule to pyjama yoga theguardian.com/ lifeandstyle/2... 135 3,514 65K 3.2M
gom jabbar bjar binks @inkyba... 2d ... I've been thinking about this post since dec 14th and it keeps making me sob with laughter 300 comments My girlfriend said I drink all her water during the night (I'm by the nightstand). Used a sleep recorder app and at like 3am it recorded me absolutely slurping that shit down and pausing to say oh that's good stuff before going back at it. Funniest thing I've recorded myself doing in my sleep ThatWhiteboy1 13h 193 6 84 11.7K 133K 2.8M
dr fart @emofiat500.1d .. sometimes it's nice to put the pillows at the end of ur bed and lie down the wrong way round. for a change of scenery 53 4,505 35.9K 832K
Jennifer Parker @Mrs_JParker . 1 1d Listen, idk how it works but my bed becomes infinitely more comfortable from the hours of 5:30 am to 8:00 pm. 5 204 2.8K 47K
Wild TikToks @wildtiktokss.1 16h ... HOIST JJA Shoutout to everyone who got through the day without taking a nap. Pulled an all-dayer today. Pretty tough. 65 9,529 92.9K 2.5M
Jew in a Canoe @WillieHandler . 1d Me: If you could sleep with -- Wife: Ryan Reynolds! Me: --the window opened a little bit, I would appreciate it. 101 385 7.8K 232K
sab @sabbyku . 1d ... she's real 7:48 now mom Nite I'm drugging myself and going to bed 14 1,628 25.1K 489K
Victor @himbo_chico 1d ... people who snore are not good people & you can't convince me otherwise. its just feels so greedy. like imagine enjoying your sleep so much you have to LOUDLY announce it to everyone in a 10 mile radius non-stop for 8 hours which in turn prevents them from getting any sleep. 46 1,743 14.6K del 841K
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi.1d ... N I asked my doctor about prescribing me sleep medication and he asked if I had tried giving yourself permission to sleep instead and now I'm so mad I don't think l'll ever sleep again 62 1,260 29.6K du 753K
808s & Backaches @Craig_b 4h ... I'd break up with someone over this lol Kay @KaylarWill.9 9h Bout to sleep like a baby ! 78°F Set Point 130 4,809 28.2K 1.1M
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad5h ... Surprising even myself with the gut reaction good for her! NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost 15h Southwest passengers baffled after woman climbs into overhead bin for nap trib.al/c7WYGXQ 8 13 262 16K
Good Willsmith @GoodWills... 20h ... taking a 45-60 minute nap can be a full on psychedelic experience. fall asleep, explore the halls of your high school for a while, try to remember which class you were supposed to be in, can't find it, wake up, where am i, feels like tomorrow, it is today 11 87 1,804 53.3K
joni @joni071012.1d ... do you think he just woke up from a nap felipe now woke up from a nap For you Following @michaelmoran48 is speaking felipe @imfelipesiquara 10m i just woke up from a пар... 0:02 29 652 17.1K 256K
Pree @diabolicalpree. 21h .. I was just resting my eyes - а man that was in the deepest sleep 135 7.1K 50K 2.4M
PUSHIN P(izza) @thatonechefguy 2d I need whatever kind of sleep that baby is getting rn. J.T. @Hollywood_IT_.2 2d Hold on. Devonta winning fr 16683 77 9K 92K 3M
L HOURLY memes @ho... 17h ... quieres People who can sleep in jeans Serial killers 136 1,530 28.9K 946K
Fleaskiii @144Poe- 22h ... Just found out it dont matter how early I go to sleep I just dont want to go to work 85 20.5K 92.1K 2.1M
caveman having a beer @swit... 17h ... When the bedtime got severe thunderstorn warning 3 349 3,592 61.6K
bosco @selentelechia 1d toddler's reported explanation for difficulty sleeping tonight: I want to go to bed but I am just having too many good ideas. 70 388 6,051 279K
out of context dogs @co... 12h ... Me: *finally gets in bed to get some rest* The neighbor's dog: testing one two, woof woof 52 272 4,969 172K
emily petrini @emilykmay 19h my 2yo demanded a skateboard song at bedtime (idk how he knows what a skateboard is ???) and i told him i did not know a skateboard song but he insisted and so i sang sk8er boi and he went straight to sleep. 67 887 30K 792K
jolly ol' joe bro @jbromovies. 13h ... Too late for a movie too early for bed is probably the worst time in history to exist 68 2.8K 27K 685K
BOOZER @_Athy_ . 1 1d Just had a dream I was fighting my Grandma... lemme go back to sleep cuz I BEEN needing that! 72 410 3,489 130K
baby .. @jaytovah_ 13h ... I sprayed this shit on my pillow case. I cannot make this up, I slept for over 12 hours. I haven't used it since PLAYERS ONLY @choppaboy_aj.1 1d 10/10 This shit will drop a bear EW! $5.89 120 D 8104981153 063 icais Sleep Spray with Melatonin & Essential Oils Promotes a better night's sleep 6FL OZ / 177 mL 93 676 11K 844K
ShaneSaw Massaere @FinalDude78 - 5 5h ... me: finally gets a solid eight hours of sleep my neck: but you did it wrong dumbass lol 16 172 1.6K 38K
@comradeazula.22h ... in bed. straight up resting it. and by it haha, well, lets just say. my mind and body 3 1,155 5,725 68.4K
@mcarv_s.2 21h yeah until out on the lawn there arose such a clatter and you sprang from your bed to see what was the matter frye @__frye. 5d i think i would have the best sleep of my life in this $19.95 I 52 7,029 74.4K 2.4M
angela wheezy @carpeangela•1 19h ... haaate that couch sleepy does not transfer to bed sleepy 78 12.3K 136K 2.9M
LorazeKim TM 23h ... One time I called the cops on my own party because I was tired and wanted to go to bed 22 139 1,804 del 53.4K
iconic moments @image_origins . 22h iwish all people who decided to take a short nap at 5pm a very pleasant 3 AM 109 7.4K 85K 2.3M
basil bas @sundialbaz. 1d ... translated shakespeare can be so funny this reads like a twitter thread with you, W tight schedule. OTHELLO and DESDEMON RODERIGO Iago. IAGO What do you have to say, noble friend? RODERIGO What do you think I should do? IAGO Go to bed, and sleep. RODERIGO I'm going to go drown myself. MODERN TEXT 52 9,036 48.5K 966K
eve @impossiblyeve 21h ... they should invent a kind of sleep that leaves you refreshed in the morning 52 12K 91K 1.6M
@1996mazdamiata 1d college students if you hear a voice that tells you to take a short nap after your classes end that's the devil talking. you have to ignore it at all costs im not joking 84 5,645 33.3K del 449K
President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro.15h too tired to piss too full of piss to sleep 820 13 276K 9,277

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