27 of the Most High-Risk, Low-Reward Things People Have Done

‘I swam in the Zambezi when I was drunk’
27 of the Most High-Risk, Low-Reward Things People Have Done

Most people are aware of the fool’s errand, but we must also consider the idiot’s quest. The idiot’s quest, which is a term I made up just now, is a high-risk pursuit that will only yield moronic, low-reward results. We’ve all taken part in this kind of activity, though the level of risk and idiocy may vary. For example, one Redditor licked a piece of raw chicken in the middle of an argument to “prove that not all chicken had salmonella.” 

While he didn’t indicate whether or not he won the argument, it really doesn’t matter, does it? Licking raw chicken at any point in your life means you have lost. 

To that end, other Redditors have remembered the most high-risk, low-reward things they’ve done, including the most pointless heist of all time.

Lemon_Murder 5y ago I stole every single pair of scissors I could find in my high school over the course of 2 years. It started as a joke about how my French teacher kept forgetting things so I would say every week is it okay if I take a pair of scissors because I don't have any? And she would always respond okay. I cleaned out the French class then moved onto history, then English then every one of my classes no longer had scissors. That was around fifty pairs. Then they all got new ones before I cleaned those
skateordie444 5y ago . Edited 5y ago . I skipped school, hopped on a bus to a different school, pretending to be a new student, hid in the bathroom, and found substitute classes... for TWO DAYS. I did end up getting kissed by two girls I liked on the same bus, so... it was worth it I guess. But i did hide in a toilet for up to two hours at a time. Scary stuff 80 ...
joeobo2 5y ago Second time I ever had sex. Picture the Damn, bitch. You live like this? meme but worse. I couldn't see the carpet because of empty soda cans and yogurt cups. She had engine block on her kitchen table. Told me she was an out of work nurse and her proof was a tattoo of the staff of Hermes. No need for a condom because she was already pregnant. + 119 ...
MaxsAcct 5y ago For the LSAT (standardized test for law school in the US) they always had a section of the test that was experimental and your score on that section didn't count. While taking the test I guessed a certain section was experimental and basically screwed around for the time period we had for that section. I still scored a respectable grade, went to law school, and am drowning in debt. yay... 81 ...
InHoc12 5y ago One of the items tasked for my pledge class to get before my initiation week was 32 identical chairs (one for each of us). Being the broke ass college kids we were we drove around looking for chairs. Ended up going to a church and telling these poor kids father mike told us we could borrow them. Still feel awful about it, but if that's the worse thing I've done in my life I guess I'm ok. 74 ...
trashgOblin 5y ago To set the scene, my dramatic 4 year old ass was having NONE of my mum telling me no. Naturally when your kid is being bratty, my mum sent me too my room. I marched up the stairs and slammed my door, heard no reaction so I opened my door and slammed it again, which by this point my mum had silently made her way up the stairs. In pure defiant rage I opened my door a to slam it a third time but instead when it flung open I was face to face with my fuming
Ltfan2002 5y ago While in Army basic in 04, I took a piece of cherry pie during dinner chow, covered it under 2 slices of bread and ate it before eating any of my actual dinner. One of the guys in my platoon saw me but never said anything. If the Drill Sergeants would have caught me they would have made me (and my platoon) pay with a round of 200 (push-ups, sit- ups, burpees) and most likely mountain climbers unit a few of us threw up. It was the first thing I ate with sugar in 2 and a
giilgaa o 5y ago e Edited 5y ago . One day i locked myself out of my apartment. I had to pay around 70 euros last time, so my dumb ass decided to climb the facade to my window (i live at the second floor). Yes, i could have broke a limb or my neck for the price of a triple A game. 398 ...
fastforward10years 5y ago . I ate an innocent piece of lettuce in Bolivia. ... Yeah I ended up in hospital and I think I still have all my organs? + 752 ...
WhiteRabbit326 5y ago . Stole some random season of Seinfeld dvds from Walmart by putting them under my hoodie. Alarm went off as I left but it was 1 am so no one did shit. Just kept on walking. + 554 ...
 5y ago . Edited 5y ago . Slept in a tent at an abandoned asbestos mine. Was able to see some of the asbestos all over the ground. View wasn't bad in the morning though.
JimmyReagan 5y ago I skipped class after a standardized test. Literally the afternoon teachers were showing movies and doing nothing and I decided it was smart to get in school suspension to sit behind a warehouse and nap with with my dumbass friend... + 15K ...
 5y ago . Edited 5y ago Sent my boss a glitter bomb, never told anyone who sent it. The whole organization, thousands of people, know it happened, boss flipped out when glitter went everywhere. I'll never tell anyone.
sd_glokta 5y ago Edited 5y ago I moved across the country (California to Massachusetts) because I saw my high school crush on a dating site. Turns out she won't date bald men under any circumstances. EDIT: After I moved to MA, I put up a profile on the dating site and sent her a brief message. She changed her profile to express disinterest in bald men, so I never contacted her again. She never knew who I was. + 2.5K ...
 . 5y ago . Edited 5y ago e Snuck a girl over and had unprotected sex while my parents were home. Got syphilis at 17
IngloriousCavatappi 5y ago During an all-nighter study session with my college roommate we decided we wanted to get some McDonald's. It was around 1am, so we left all of our stuff in a common study room (laptops and all- wtf) and got in my car. It was pitch black, super foggy with my lights on, and raining to top it all off. I couldn't see more than a foot in front of my car so we were driving 10mph down the highway on no sleep. After less than 5 terrifying minutes we decided the cheeseburgers weren't worth it and went
mingk . 5y ago Licked raw chicken to prove not all chicken had Salmonella. 445 ...
Happyvibe5 . 5y ago . Edited 5y ago Balanced on the top rung of a six meter ladder to change a light bulb at work.
Black_kalla 5y ago I was a free intern for a flower shop. One day there was a shady person walking in the store basement. Somebody said he stole something from the shop and fled to the basement. The shop was in an apartment building, street level and the basement led to all over the building. So they said to me a 16 y/o girl to go to the basement and check the situation out. Well I was young and dumb and went. Thank god I found no one. 1.4K ...
Stauen 5y ago I stole every wheel off the chairs in my high school's computer lab as a joke during a 20-minute break. I still have one of them. Probably could've gotten expelled just for a slightly funny joke and a useless chair wheel. + 17K ...
 o 5y ago e Masturbate using vaporub 7.9K ...
Cow-Brown 5y ago I swam in the Zambezi when I was drunk on a tiger fishing trip. Still can't believe I was that stupid. For those that don't know, its infested with hippos and crocs, known for taking people. + 7.6K ...
CheekyBlind . 5y ago Climbing up a water tower when drunk to find a friend. Turns out said friend was not even lost. Не was yelling at me from the base of the tower + 30K ...
 5y ago Jumping onto a bus that was pulling away from the bus stop without closing its doors. The bus is every 10 minutes. + 1.3K ...
SugoiBakaMatt 5y ago Edited 5y ago ION I used to dive in ponds at golf courses to collect the lost balls and clean/sort them to sell back to the courses. It's unbelievable just how many snakes, alligators, and leeches live in those things. I made less than minimum wage (around 6ish at the time) and had countless close calls with critters. However, the most dangerous creatures on golf courses are old people. They do not give a fuck if you're working, they will absolutely send balls of hard plastic hurdling at your head at 50mph without a second thought, then
igraduatedfromoxford . 5y ago Shoplifted condoms 3 years ago, I'm still a virgin + 1.7K ...
 e 5y ago Put tape under every single mouse in the entire school during 30 minute break. Nearly got caught for about 1 minute of confusion. Not very rewarding. 34 ...

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