37 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, November 11, 2024

It’s terrifying when you enter the danger zone
37 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, November 11, 2024

Dwayne Johnson has heard the rumors about him, and while he says they’re “bullshit,” they aren’t completely wrong. Earlier this year, The Wrap published an exclusive piece about Johnson’s tardiness creating behind-the-scenes tension for the Amazon MGM film Red One, allegedly costing the production company hundreds of thousands of dollars, as well as delaying the release date. These allegations came up during Johnson’s recent cover shoot with GQ, where he admitted that tardiness happens, but insisted that the number that was circulating was “a bananas amount.” 

When asked about his proclivity for urinating in bottles, he responded, “Yeah. That happens,” and although we have a few questions as to why, it’s probably best he doesn’t answer them. 

Meanwhile, Mattel had a wicked blunder over the weekend. Special-edition dolls for Wicked, which feature recreations of Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo and Jonathan Bailey’s characters in the movie, were intended to include a link to the film’s website on the packaging. Unfortunately, a misprint omitted the word “movie” from the URL, sending a ton of traffic to an adult-entertainment website. The toy manufacturer quickly released a statement saying that they “deeply regret” the error, and are taking immediate action by recalling the dolls from stores.

Over on the timeline, the week is getting started with a new batch of hilarious tweets. Today’s funniest include those about a seating chart a wedding party will never forget, shy chicken and something for the calendarheads out there.

drea kordei @aundrearun... 16h ... she looks like shes in a hallmark movie and her high school crush just approached her 129 3,218 47.9K 1.1M
kentucky fried titties @maddi... 16h ... This girl I went to college with has a sister who got married and WHY DOES THE SEATING CHART LOOK LIKE GROUND ZERO Z M - . OUR FAVORITE PEOPLE N/B 180 1,461 58.5K 1.1M
Ndeng @Taibandeng_ 1d Bye world server CHOCOLATE CANDIES m bleatex 1,295 100K 411K 7.9M
brooke @b_pruck 1d ... many of you did not experience the panic of getting the you've used 90% of your data plan text on like the 21st of the month and then waiting a few minutes for the message from your dad in the family group chat unleashing absolute fucking hellfire upon you and your sibling(s) 215 8,183 116K 3.1M

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silver @r0ttensilver. 1d neither of these being blazers Arab-High fashion vividvirgo @haydenlany.2 2d striped blazer >>>> 55 6,076 192K 2.4M
potato bun @erewhonsmoothie 23h ... I can tell by the vibe of the dial tone if someone is going to answer the phone when I call them 9 605 7,852 108K
joolsd @joolsd - 13h Heath is Certa ... Hybrid Flowers For Algernon 4.9 (7) THC - CBD - Creative 90 2,290 28.5K 712K
Drew @drewrhyde. 21h Stop bouncing your leg girl, it's either this or I start screaming 228 45.8K 222K 4M
jac @reneexroan 19h ... i sometimes wish gilmore girls was made today just so i could see her lez out 21 1,045 16K 228K
JIM @longbhriste 1d grating cheese is so fun until it starts getting scary 13 2,963 42.1K del 561K
@ @lifeinchaos_.11 Lol she shy P rem @luvinthot.3/2/24 Smoked Chicken otw CC 0:03 703 4,812 61.3K 3.1M
caitlin @hello_caitlin 15h ... I'm 100% certain that Conclave would be a perfect candidate for a movie where one character is played by a very serious human actor and the rest are muppets 15 378 9,591 252K
Pugmane @pugmane.5h ... They expect one of us in the wreckage, brother AP The Associated Press 1d 1 monkey recovered safely, 42 others remain on the run from South Carolina lab apnews.com/article/ escape... 54 4,438 40.8K 1.5M
John Attridge @John_Attridge 17h ... Student I was counting on to nod throughout the lecture stopped nodding 438 7,917 249K 3.1M
Rob J BedCon SOON @_RobJay 1d ... Oh.......yall are ACTUALLY choosing the Adult option when yall buy movie tickets online???? LMAOOOOOO 1,434 7,063 170K del 9.1M
club sam reid @popstarlestat.1 1d me age 13: been getting really into vampires lately me age 18: i can't remember the last time i've felt genuine happiness me age 26: been getting really into vampires lately 101 15.6K 130K del 1.7M
Sofia Coppium @indianloonie. 17h ... LindyMan Subscribe ... @PaulSkallas Can't imagine anything gayer than two men in a car. Drive alone or with a woman 3:46 PM 9/15/23.8 855 Views 12 Reposts 1 Quote 72 Likes 2 Bookmarks This post has been deleted. 59 605 12.3K 330K
Lone @lonelytiefling 16h Thinking abt that post that's like the reason flying is so safe is because half the people working in aviation want to fuck these things and every plane that crashes is a wife that dies HOW THINGS WORK @... . 1d RSP things The final checks before closing an aircraft door. CC 427 11.1K 204K 8.2M
h @heyherearewords-17h you know what yeah where in france are u from 18:17 18:17 It doesn't matter 18:18 Oh ok 18:18 Ask me something that matters 18:18 230 3,354 97.6K 1.4M
Normal Stephen @LeFagge • 7h ... absolute titan of a YouTube comment @TheAutisticEdu... 1 year ago My brother and I body-surfed the huge 30-foot waves during the Sydney storm in May 1974. I was 13 and he was 18. We had no fear as we are both Autistic 2 13 Normal Stephen @L... 10/25/24 Bought $400 of bodysurfing equipment and just tried it for the first time and didn't really like it 3 458 9,707 234K

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nosferatu's lover jaehaera ... ..1d ... guys my tattoo shop bathroom NEED 83 1,736 19.5K 341K
Tom Kiely P67 @TomKiely_ 18h ... When it's 10pm and you see a third ASSIPT opening band start to set up 52 3,616 72.6K 1.3M
sélpide @selpideeeeeeeee. 1d how about Original Story 1 DiscussingFilm @Discus... 2d DF Major animated sequels releasing in 2026. Shrek 5 Ice Age 6 Toy Story 5 The Super Mario Bros Movie 2 See what other movies are releasing soon: bit.ly/Dates2025 ICE 6 AGE Disney PIXAR TOY STORY 5 666 23.6K 356K 6.6M
Holden Deuce Medic @holde... 1d ... Just saw this gatorade towel in my boys bathroom as a hand towel. Goddam this guy knows ball G 161 4,092 113K del 3.1M
Mohammad @MargBarAme... 20h ... calenderheads, peep february 2026. you don't see em laid out like this often anymore. something to look forward to < 2026 + February S M T W T F S Feb 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 420 14.1K 212K 4.1M
rai @railovesyoulots.1 1d ... HOW HIGH WAS THE MF MAKING MY CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH BC WHAT IS THIS SHIT 111 1,677 50.2K 1.8M
Chief Ron @DoGoodRon_ 1d ARE ENDLESS Не dressed like a bisexual Blade 49ers on NBCS @NBCS49....1d Deebo came through drippin' CG 3,336 14.5K 160K - 12.2M
Robert Komaniecki @Koman... 1d ... Me after TurboTax asks me to confirm I've reviewed all of the documents (I don't understand anything) D V L F 64 5,577 119K del 2.5M
Simon @MalkyDungeon 1d ... Felt like I saved a scroll from Alexandria with this one ember Follow @andeanfemme can I get an oatmilk latte and... lol I remember your ass from 600 BC. we lived on the tigris river, I was a red ibis bird & u were an infertile brown goat. the Zoroastrian farmers fed u hemlock to try & kill u lol. remember? oh I also want that stupid little pastry in the case 16:49 11/07/2024 83K Views 1.2K Reposts 44 Quotes 7.8K Likes This post has been deleted. 33 9,282 100K 1.5M
Skyler Higley @skyler_higley- 1d ... Need a Shazam for my negative thoughts that's like... this one's your father 8 502 6,470 del 150K
Luke Mones @LukeMones 1d ... Last night I went to see the new horror movie HERETIC. The theater instead played the Tom Hanks movie HERE. A small number of people complained but the majority of the theater accepted the change. Terrifying insight into human behavior 64 483 12K 425K

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super bitch of ny @Lizbelortizz. 1d ... My cousin just moved here from DR and all he do is work and blast Smack That by Akon 161 2,645 25.4K del 658K
Actual Names @ActualNames1.1d ... TITA CORPORAL A DEADMAN F. FIELD COMPANY 6-2-1947 AGE 60 Penus Hortz Germany, Lutheran Baptisms, Marriages, and Burials, 1500-1971 51 1,949 12.8K 536K
GZ @GalaxyZeinz. 1d can someone check if they're allowed to have those 24 389 5,127 61.2K
Jack Corbett @jackcorrbit· 1d thought this placed burned down. what the frick? ALEXANDRIA PUBLIC LIBRARY 117 6,104 164K 1.8M
Ross Sayers @Sayers33 19h Hi mate thanks for reaching out via Microsoft Teams. I'm sorry to say I was sharing my screen at the time. Everyone on the call saw your message saying Christine's messed up your SharePoint again and you think she should be executed 12 302 7,309 221K
Jamie @smokeismedicine. 1d He's showing me a computer game he's just okay at REC 24 1,892 48K 834K

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