58 Hilarious Tweets About Coworkers and Bosses to Read on Your Lunch Break

Was that his lunch break?
58 Hilarious Tweets About Coworkers and Bosses to Read on Your Lunch Break

You can always count on your coworkers to offer a different perspective on life. Did you ever consider that the government is collecting our DNA from the sewers in order to create super soldiers who will engage the Chinese army on the moon? 

Yeah, probably not! 

Thankfully, a Twitter user screenshot an enlightening text from a colleague, and posted that vital information for all of us to see. 

More of Twitter’s hardest working users posted hilarious tweets about the 9-to-5 grind, including an email from Donald Rumsfeld that makes your boss look not so bad.

bongo ... @bongoism how it feels trying to eat lunch when ur со worker won't stop talking to u 1:31 PM Aug 7, 2024 4.6M Views 132 14K 145K 8.3K
cigarette ... @sojuboyteIIem can't stop thinking about how i said go piss girl to a со worker who's my age and my со worker in her 60's overheard it and went ha! i like that! 9:58 AM-Jan 4, 2024 2.2M Views 46 4.2K 111K 1.8K
bongo ... @bongoism if u mention the words spooky season around ur 27 yr old со worker you'll see their eyes light up like u just jingled keys in front of a baby's face 2:50 AM Sep 19, 2023 897.1K Views 33 2.3K 29K 422
mel ... @glockinmyspiel My ugly ass со worker just walked in. I've had enough for today 3:18 PM Mar 25, 2024 . 1.5M Views 50 4.8K 32K 1.5K
gill ... @contactabrother normalize calling ur со worker a dumbass cunt without getting in trouble 9:35 PM . D Dec 26, 2023 545.5K Views 11 1K 7.6K 204
Ms.Boy ... @therealmsboy see why my со worker be coming back from her lunch break happy Af SHR ВЕРА KIA FLORIDA LAKELAND Regal SELTOS CORPS MAR www.RECALLAKELAND.COM Regal AKITANS LORIES CAUTION K YOUR 10:39 AM Dec 21, 2023.877.1K Views 246 1K 10K 412
sophia ... @pastoralcomical coworker's couple's costume is that he and his girlfriend went as two columbos. they're just both dressed up as columbo 9:08 AM Oct 30, 2024 917.1K Views 140 2.7K 45K 1.5K
pavlo ... @LaughterHaver Annoying coworker sent me a 9/11 meme yesterday and I reported him to HR and pretended I was really offended 8:19 PM.Oct 12, 2024 . 4.3M Views 288 6.4K 241K 5.2K
the flavor ... @thedarkprowler awesome text to get from a coworker i met last wednesday 9:46 284 347 Mark Text Message Today 9:44 PM The government is stealing our sperm to create homonculus super soldiers to engage the chinese army on the moon It's all being propagated by the deep state they want you to watch porn and jack off into the shower so they can collect our dna from the sewers they're growing our sons in labs and sending them off to fight a war we don't even know about + Text Message 9:46 PM May 5, 2024.3.3M Views
Ben Crew ... @BenjaminCrew1 What it feels like when a coworker is coming to show you a funny video 9:45 AM May 15, 2024 4.1.3M Views 31 2.9K 49K 1.6K
Ron Iver ... @ronnui_ Trying to think of another profession where you have to leave your coworker to die bc the boss needs to hear your little tune its ITV News NEWS @itvnews Jun 10, 2023 Temperatures have passed 30C in London today, overwhelming some soldiers who took part in a military parade alongside Prince William itv.com/news/2023-06-1... itvNEWS 0:45 4:22 PM Jun 11, 2023 ... 5.7M Views 249 7.2K 86K 1.1K
meg Yooper bitchell ... @MeganBitchell How did this get 7 seasons this is the average coworker's favorite show POP adidas Pop Crave @PopCrave.Sep 14, 2023 Megan Thee Stallion joins the voice cast of 'Big Mouth' Season 7 as Megan Thee Hormone Monstress on October 20. BIG MOUTH your Hormone Monstress 0:31 Megan is here. 5:50 PM Sep 16, 2023 . 6.3M Views
zooted frederick douglas ... @stanimpala DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOUR COWORKER!! zooted frederick douglas @stanimpala Dec 1, 2023 do not know who needs to hear this but life is short so go have sex with that coworker. 12:45 PM Mar 9, 2024 14.5M Views 735 18K 237K 9.6K
soapy hadid ... @soapyhadid The Boys is such a coworker show, in that a coworker will tell you its good and you say 'omg I'll watch it' and then don't 10:53 PM Jun 30, 2022 127 1.4K 24K 386
alexa ... @mariokartdwi When my coworker says something extremely coworker and it's just like okay you are not beating the coworker allegations 4:13 PM Apr 30, 2024 1.7M Views 33 3.2K 45K 1.7K
trash jones Subscribe ... @jzux coworker: hey circling back on that thing we talked about in december me: stop living in the past 10:50 AM Jan 2, 2024 1.9M Views 31 4.2K 38K 492
... @m00dyx This is the type of videos ur coworker will show u and expect u to laugh The Red @WomaninRedx May 9 How to prepare diet food! 0:24 11:24 PM May 9, 2024 6.7M Views 201 12K 197K 2.8K
trash jones Subscribe ... @jzux hey boss sorry I can't come in this week I'm waiting to see if democracy disintegrates 9:26 AM Nov 4, 2024 1M Views 140 5.7K 70K 787
BuccoCapital Bloke ... @buccocapital Whenever I'm stressed at work because my boss is being unreasonable I remember the emails Donald Rumsfeld used to send to his staff April 7, 2003 11:46 AM TO: Doug Feith FROM: Donald Rumsfeld SUBJECT: Issues w/Various Countries We need more coercive diplomacy with respect to Syria and Libya, and we need it fast. If they mess up Iraq, it will delay bringing our troops home. We also need to solve the Pakistan problem. And Korea doesn It seem to be going well. Are you coming up with proposals for me to send around? Thanks. 8:58
zzz Owl! at the Library ... @SketchesbyBoze you should get a certain number of reading days per year along with your allotted sick days, so that you can phone your boss and say I can't come in to work today, I'm reading in bed and then you spend the day reading in bed 6:54 PM May 7, 2024 526.9K Views 61 2.9K 19K 535
mariana Z ... @mariana057 (At my boss's funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin) Who's thinking outside the box now Stacy? 6:20 PM Oct 30, 2024 119.4K Views 177 588 5.2K 115
jordi ... @nuckslut my boss's response to me taking a sick day is insane ok thanks for letting me know....if the Jets lost 6-0 last night i would be sick too... but they won 6-2... take care 10:26 AM Oct 31, 2024 248.7K Views 23 153 6.8K 162
ely kreimendahl Subscribe ... @ElyKreimendahl when I was 20 I was an intern at a film production studio in London and my boss offered me free tickets to the premiere of a Harry Potter movie and I was like no thanks I can't stand Harry Potter and she was like really. well I can't stand the rudeness of Americans 8:02 PM Mar 31, 2022 187 1.2K 52K 612
kira Subscribe ... @kirawontmiss if my boss gifted me ai art instead of a bonus check i'm quitting the next day christian; @skulltiara Dec 7, 2023 Girl.......... And they're dead serious too personally designed all my ONE/SIZE employees into Disney Pixar AI Characters MIRIAN MARKET y TikTok @patrickstarrr 0:07 / 0:17 cc 11:30 PM Dec 9, 2023 19.5M Views 733 15K 4.1K 204K
stream ice cream money ashley ray Subscribe ... @theashleyray had a talk with my manager where i told him it's hard to do my job when i'm left off of emails/meetings and he said well when you're left out just let me know and then i stared at him until he went but if you were left out, you wouldn't know.... 3:44 PM Feb 27, 2024 7.6M Views 184 4.4K 130K 3.8K
Hurt CoPain Subscribe ... @SaeedDiCaprio when my white retail store manager was giving me a tour on my first day and she goes we aren't that diverse, but there is someone that worked as an informant in the middle east you two can get along Home In C22 Price Scanner Air Compressor and SUS Power Tools Service Market 2005 3.00F Clean C20 B28 Seoulder Natural Walmart 12:03 PM Feb 16, 2023 3 . 1.1M Views 52 1K 36K 601
joRdn'$ world ... @jordnsworld caught my manager doing coke on the clock Pene PCA GIF II 8:23 PM Jun 23, 2024 846.8K Views 330 1.6K 1K 49K
Phantom ... @lajjsabat I'm at work and I hear my manager f***ing the bar tender. 7:10 PM Aug 18, 2024 5M Views 390 2.1K 111K 5.8K
boots. @jdapetite1 me behind my manager after they told a customer the same thing just told them 0:10 From ryan 1:28 AM Mar 28, 2024 . 1.6M Views
Roshan Patel Subscribe ... @roshanpateI I accidentally said time instead of bandwidth and my product manager took me into the break room and waterboarded me with lacroix 3:03 PM May 30, 2024 2.3M Views 37 1.8K 40K 1.3K
SungWon Cho ... @ProZD my manager suggested my default demeanor may come across as curt in business meetings so from now on i will be defaulting to this facial expression in all zoom calls LEGO 20 02904 10:38 PM Mar 29, 2023 580.3K Views
Inverse Cramer (Not Jim Cramer) Subscribe @CramerTracker Employee: I'm burnt out Management: Inel of 340 0407 12:45 PM Sep 29, 2023 3 . 22.1M Views 935 20K 129K 2K
A Girl Has No Name ... @Nyx_19 My manager just said he didn't care about the halftime show cause Usher hasn't been relevant for 20 years. I replied that's how you know it's two Americas and just walked away 8:13 AM Feb 12, 2024 997.9K Views 114 3.2K 34K 862
... @joannesbitch My manager thought IJBOL meant I've just been on lunch 7:27 AM May 9, 2024 1.4M Views 48 1.8K 37K 1K
kaya in my artblock era ... @parivolans That awkward moment when I'm playing genshin on shift and my manager joins my world has entered the world 2P 2P funny seeing you here 1P Kaya 10:42 AM Apr 1, 2023 605.7K Views 56 3.1K 39K 1.1K
t ... @whatsthetee Thinking about the time I overstated my kitchen experience in a cafe I worked at a few years ago and someone ordered poached eggs on toast and my manager walked in on me standing at the hob watching how to poach an egg tutorials on YouTube 10:07 AM May 9, 2023 858.3K Views 44 1.2K 17K 253
Zoomer Alcibiades ... @HellenicVibes In four hours I just completed 81% of a project a manager said would take until next fall, what do I do? Should I tell my boss and get good boy points or just sit on it and chill for the next six months? L515638G02 4210 % GRA - 4210 1/4 GRA 12 11 1 2 10 3 9 4. 5 6 BOX1 3. 7:27 PM Apr 25, 2024 4.3.9M Views 1.6K 941 47K 1.8K
A Queer and Pleasant Danger ... @Samwitch11 Heavy sigh. I was talking to a coworker last week, and she got a phone call that transferred to her super-cool watch. She pointed to her wrist and said, Sorry, my son is calling! I said, Wow! Like Dick Tracy! Today I am explaining to my manager why I called her a Dick. 12:18 PM Sep 14, 2023 412.6K Views 122 694 17K 335
Samantha Ruddy ... @samlymatters I got laid off yesterday. It's a blur but when I got on the zoom call with my manager and saw an HR guy was also there I'm 90% sure I said ah shit you got me 10:36 AM Jan 20, 2024 1M Views 56 367 17K 444
LOL hydroxyzine queen, RN ... @tiredandtachy i am not even joking when i say that my OR MANAGER had to ask why we use a sterile slush machine to make ice for open heart surgery when we could just get ice from the machine in the break room 8:05 PM Jul 31, 2024 519.5K Views 730 1K 13K 427
Amy ... @_stonedroses do u think my manager will believe this is why I'm late to work POLICE AND El 4:01 AM Jul 3, 2023 3 . 1.4M Views
Roxy @RoxyTall 6d ... You'll be at work talking to an older coworker like we've had record heat & this is the first October Mt Fuji ever had no snow also it now gets so hot that animals just die en masse and your coworker will be like good! I love when it's hot and hate when it's cold 355 9,211 125K del 2M
nick, @LouBegaVEVO5 5/14/24 ... 100% sure my coworker has invented a dog so he can take multiple long breaks daily under the guise of dog walks. never mentioned the dog until 2 weeks ago, now he's brbing 3 walks a day. boss asked to see a pic of the dog and he said sorry it's sleeping. encourage this. 65 1,753 47.8K del 1.5M
rob @ok_but_still.1 1d ... upset 22 year old coworker: is this how it felt in 2016? was it this fucking bad? me: oh how interesting, mrs. never watches the family guy clips i send is looking for comfort 70 2,822 67K 1.4M
nick, @LouBegaVEVO-7/10/24 me: what if I used the bene gesserit voice to tell my coworkers this meeting could have been an email lol my therapist: you don't have to talk like that in here, you can just say normal things to me me (trying to actually use the bene gesserit voice): I am normal 10 1,124 17.2K del 618K
Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew115515/24 ... What it feels like when a coworker is coming to show you a funny video 31 2,957 49.7K 1.3M
Losing it @prophethusband- 8/22/24 ... Walked by a coworkers computer and he was just looking at a picture of a hotdog 373 3,648 49.8K del 4.8M
megan @chismosavirus 8/14/24 ... being the only person my shy introverted coworker fucks with feels like this 6 964 27.3K 430K
Rodney Lacroix ... @RodLacroix Australia just passed the Right to Disconnect law which allows workers to ignore their bosses outside working hours so looks like I'm moving to Sydney. 5:58 AM Aug 28, 2024 93K Views 33 327 5.1K 64
Fesshole. FESS ... HOLE @fesshole I make up cringe corporate sayings in Teams meetings to see if they catch on. I felt a great sense of achievement when my boss remarked about a client wanting a sub-standard product if the ducks want bread, give them bread. I had forgotten about that one. 6:25 AM Aug 27, 2024 2.7M Views 263 1.5K 53K 2.4K
bobby ... @bobbylikesbeers Al is coming for your jobs I'd like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it 1:44 PM Oct 9, 2024 2.4M Views 34 6.5K 100K 2K
shen the bird ... @Shen_the_Bird me: hey sorry but my powerful enemy just said seize him to all his underlings boss: what time can you be here me: i dunno man they're seizing me like right now boss: we're short staffed today me: i'm getting seized 1:23 PM Oct 28, 2024 473.4K Views 22 3K 30K 943
McErin ... @colleen_eileen Today a coworker from another department was talking about her daughter, Haysleigh, and I guess I gave an eyebrow raise because she immediately said like paisley but agricultural then spelled it and I felt my soul leave my body 6:35 PM Aug 28, 2024 220.1K Views 157 346 9.5K 181
Nikki ... @TheNikkiRosa Asked my coworker what's wrong & he said I'm tired of faking that I like you guys & honestly? Mood. 3:50 PM Aug 26, 2024 6.1M Views 399 25K 196K 6.4K
kpg ... @notoriouskpg jokingly asked my coworker why the flag outside our building was at half mast today and he completely seriously said for James Earl Jones i think? 2:17 PM Sep 11, 2024 815.1K Views 67 2.7K 50K 718
... @cardamomkiss My husband had a coworker who entered his baby in the local fair's baby competition a while ago and I think they just make up superlatives for all of the babies because his won sturdiest baby 1:00 PM Oct 12, 2024 666.3K Views 105 1.2K 42K 736
teryn ... @youngtiddy putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it's night time and goes to sleep 9:09 PM Aug 20, 2024 436.9K Views 10 1.2K 22K 343
megan @chismosavirus 9/5/24 how shy coworkers look when a real small talker comes at them 20 1,767 32.5K 586K

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