30 of the Worst Rationalizations People Have Ever Heard

‘It’s after 6’
30 of the Worst Rationalizations People Have Ever Heard

While “I’m an adult, I don’t have to tell other people where I’m going” sounds like how Kramer would defend himself after getting a traffic ticket on Seinfeld, it’s decidedly less funny that a real-life person on the road used this rationalization to justify not using their turn signal. But unfortunately, there are delusional people all around us, waiting for their opportunity to spout the wildest conclusions they’ve somehow arrived at. 

Redditors have remembered the worst rationalizations they’ve ever heard, and honestly, nearly all of them would make for good television — especially the guy who definitely wasn’t stealing. 

quigonjen 7y ago . Met a woman who justified sleeping with the guy her best friend was dating to break them up and spare the bestie from his awfulness. My jaw was on the floor from her reasoning. 2 ...
tehduffster 7y ago . People who grew up in the days when no one wore seat belts, and rationalize that they survived, so therefore, you really don't need to wear seat belts. I hear that all the time. Oh, and that they won't vaccinate their kids because I ain't putting no chemicals in my child while feeding them Doritos and Pepsi. 3 ...
GingerHiro 7y ago o ex wife lost my whole set of keys (key, fob, lanyard, auto start.) I had to have the car towed to the dealership and when I asked her to pay the bill she says It isnt my car. Im no longer married... 10 ...
trevster6 o 7y ago . Edited 7y ago If you're not bleeding, you're okay then. My father, ladies and gentlemen. 7 ...
ProjectSparkle 7y ago Throwing away food is a good thing. How else would kids at the dump get anything to eat? 11 ...
Idealization 7y ago I might die tomorrow so I should do X yea and I mean if we're going to honor such low- probability events, you could be shot every time you go outside so you might as well be a shut-in 28 ...
 7y ago When a driver goes 85 mph on the highway in a 65 mph zone because he wants to keep up with other cars that are occasionally speeding by him - and that he won't get ticketed as long as he keeps pace with the speeders. + 20 ...
lazarus870 7y ago Work in the criminal justice system. Guy was charged with stealing shit from a construction site, and then trying to extort them to sell it back. Construction foreman or whoever calls the cops and the guy gets busted. Guy charged tells me I have it all wrong. I wasn't stealing it! Не says. I saw it and went, 'oh no stuff is too valuable to leave out overnight.' So I went back to my apartment and held it overnight for safekeeping. And I took it back the next day and just wanted a reward for helping out.
Tricky4279 7y ago You have the word tech in your job title, and that can be short for 'technology'. This machine is a piece of technology, so there for it must be your responsibility. I had appreciate the mental gymnastics it took to come up with this. 10 ...
Binca505 e 7y ago 0 It's vegan, therefore it's healthy - me every time I buy a vegan doughnut. 35 ...
FluffonStuff 7y ago I used to work at an airport. With the realization that after years of working around planes and large machinery, my hearing is starting to get worse, I would always wear hearing protection. One of my supervisors said he didn't bother, because after a while you get immune to it. + 35 ...
 : 7y ago a friend of mine said he doesnt support gay adoption bc the kids can turn out gay + 38 ...
el_monstruo 7y ago e Actually heard a woman in McDonald's say that she could get 2 Fillet o Fish sandwiches because fish is healthy. 37 ...
beezofaneditor 7y ago e I don't need your facts when I have my opinions! - spoken by a friend of mine in a political argument. 53 ...
longhairedtrucker 7y ago Playing devil's advocate with a stoner in college. I mentioned studies showing that heavy use before 25 can negatively affect brain development. His response? Well, I feel smarter since I started doing pot, so I think I'm smarter. I was genuinely speechless, it was such a surreal response. 203 ...
xsgerry - 7y ago - Pro- foxhunter. 'The foxes enjoy it! The love running away from the pack'. Being torn apart by a bunch of slavering hounds must be SOOOO enjoyable then. + 88 ...
 7y ago My food hoarding dad a couple of years ago. Dad, you have what looks like a hundred boxes of mac and cheese here that you never eat. Why don't you just donate these or something? I keep those so when I'm at the store and I see them, I know that I already have them at home so I don't need them. ... oh pops. 117 ...
agentredfbi 7y ago My then best friend was being a real bitch to me one night and I was not having it so I called her out on it. Her excuse was that she was feeling dissociative and that I should expect this kind of behaviour. First, she had never been professionally diagnosed with dissociative personality disorder, and second, I'm bipolar and you don't see me using that as an excuse to be a dick to my friends. 62 ...
ZDHELIX 7y ago e A guy at the store was mad we didn't know the bus schedule. His rationale was he was from AZ therefore we should know the WA bus schedule + 64 ...
Ewstefania e 7y ago . Edited 7y ago 0 I can't use a Babybjörn because my mom said it's for lesbians. -My aunt on why she can't use a baby carrier + 248 ...
BuyingGirlfriend . 7y ago E Because it's natural Just because something is natural doesn't mean it'll be better for you. + 540 ...
meltedlaundry 7y ago . When the light turns green I should be able to go, no questions asked. A dude from HS that hit the person in front of them at a recently turned green light. + 609 ...
theghostwhorocks 7y ago My dad rationalized that spending X amount to rent a car for 5 hours was a good idea because it would prove a point to his wife that they need to buy a second car for him. My dad hasn't worked in 13 years. And regardless of what he tells you, it's been by choice. So yea... + 711 ...
Eshlau 7y ago If these animals are of no benefit to humans, why does it matter if they're alive? - A friend of mine who didn't understand the point of the Endangered Species Act or conservation measures + 749 ...
eggsaviour 7y ago If I don't go to the doctor and get diagnosed with cancer, then I don't have to worry about having cancer. - Mom + 719 ...
zeuljii e 7y ago I'm an adult, and I don't have to tell people where I'm going regarding turn signal usage. + 1.1K ...
SalemScout 7y ago I used to run an ice cream shop. One day I received a letter that I will paraphrase: Hello, I am a customer of your ice cream shop. On X date, my friend and I decided to get ice cream. We went to rival ice cream shop, but there was no parking, so we came to your shop instead. After getting ice cream, I went back to my car. I backed into another car and had to pay damages to the driver. I am asking for you to reimburse me for those damages because I went to
Dharma_initiative1 7y ago One time I went out with a girl and when I asked her out next she said Well we had such a great time on our first date that I wouldn't want to ruin the experience because you set the bar so high on the first one that the second one would not live up to the expectation. Just say you aren't interested god damnit lol + 2.9K ...
rangemaster 7y ago I once called out a lady in a store for just dropping trash as she walked. She just said: Why, someone who works here will just pick up after me She wasn't wrong, but how can you have that level of entitlement in public? + 1.4K ...
Komikaze06 7y ago My uncle is in a wheelchair and has that conversion thing for his car that let's him drive it with his hands. Не drove to Wal-Mart and there was a non- handicaped woman getting out of her car from the handicap spot, no sticker or anything. So he parked right behind her to confront at her when she got out, that's how he is. She came out and he asked her why she thought it was okay to park there. She responded, it's after 6. Не responded with what we don't come out after dinner!? 7 ...

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