43 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, October 30, 2024

They should sell merch, too
43 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, October 30, 2024

We’ve all been wondering how many murders can possibly take place at the infamous Arconia, and it looks like Téa Leoni is going to find out for herself. On the heels of Only Murders in the Building wrapping its fourth season, news broke that the former Madam Secretary is joining the cast for Season Five. It also appears that her character holds the keys to the show’s next big mystery, with co-creator John Hoffman saying she’s “an intriguing little bump forward” that adds to the series’ world-building

Over at CBS, the honeymoon phase is over for Georgie and Mandy. The network just ordered nine more episodes of the Young Sheldon spin-off after it became one of the most-watched new series this season. Chuck Lorre’s third entrant in the Big Bang Theory franchise capitalized on the success of its predecessors, averaging around 6.5 million same-day viewers over its first two episodes.

Meanwhile, the timeline is bursting at the seams with some great tweets. Today’s funniest include those about the bravery of teachers, bar bathroom realizations and the feeling of being broccoli.

Charlie James @malecowgirl . 2 20h tom cruise does his own stunts ok? so do i. i just have fewer stunts to do. fewer stunts are being asked of me 9 1.4K 22K 363K
lea chin-sang @bigfatmoosepssy· 1d teachers are so brave i just thought about having to teach someone long division from scratch and threw up 100 8.6K 139K dJ 1.7M
@filmfae. - 1d ... you're laughing. the man who made zodiac wants to do a squid game remake for netflix and you're laughing. 45 878 11K 295K
joy-con eater @foconut_ 1d ... the one on the girl reading this The Bush Archive @TheBushArchive . 2d Who is Your Favourite Bush? 743 18K 235K 7M
Drew @drew___ 12h Why does he look like he's blinded by the lights The Hollywood Handle @HollywoodHan... 16h First look at Yahya Abdul-Mateen II in Marvel Studios' 'WONDER MAN'. Releasing on Disney+ in December 2025. B 19 1K 16K 258K
eugene h. krabs @argargargarg_.. 6h err. he's problematic luxx @LUXXINDREAMS. 21h he's so cuuuuute 54 3.1K 38K 452K
Northeastern Rube @ColaWarsVeteran 1d Today I learned that the Swedish word for speed is fart GJUR DEG MAX FART KLAR FOR ROSH TID 5 E47 E 55 Fart kontrol FART . and JUIN TEST EUR LITTLE THE - - - WT 2-12 km 970 15K 165K 5.8M
@pcrkhs. 21h Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega have the chance to do the funniest thing ever DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm . 1d 'SCARY MOVIE 6' will be getting a theatrical release. Filming begins next year. 100 54K 4.7K a 1.3M
tay indy n1 @skinnnydipping 1d ... me in the bar bathroom realizing i did not need those last three shots 90 12K 148K del 2.4M
teo @snoopypoop7.18h + 9,752 gpa may be 1.9 buti garentee 99.9% of the time ... i can out drink n smoke yall. 1,662 (who's loss rlly is it) 295 2,038 supersecret n i stand on ts 50 391 7.8K 119K
mila @DINDJ4RIN 15h ... iwasn't gonna drink 4 tonight but man...im missin like a MF Technicolor® the lesser known fourth head of Cerberus 1d we have strayed so far from God's light 15 6.2K 52K 1M
Ms. Andry Noir, PhD @keatingssixth. 1d Jennifer Hudson's staff after making a jingle for every new guest on the show 129 5.7K 54K 705K
jayden @modernpingas 1d ... Went through my bag trying to figure out why it's been so heavy all year and you're telling me I had CHAINS in there??????? 1.3K 10K 297K 4.1M
maddie @xmaddiemoonx- 1d peter griffin... no... @tadanotarosuke.2d 260 393K 18K 7.7M
rebecca @rebeccaverse . 23h despite making up just 3% of the population she/theys and he/theys make up 50% of the bad roommate situation gofundmes 30 574 18K 406K
Céspedes Family BBQ @Ce... 18h ... CESPEDES This legit looks like a Tim Robinson 52 sketch. GIVE ME THE BASEBALL Céspedes Family BBQ 18h My dude, are you six years old? M nk 62 687 22K 1.2M
no context memes @weird... 23h ... r/TwoSentenceHorror u/late44thegameNOW.Sh XA Traduzir Did you know you have 306 bones in your body? Now 305, 304, 303, 302, 301, 300....... 3 11 Compartil... QuigleyHas2poo 4h *206? Or am I missing something? Responder 8 late44thegameNOW OP .4h Oh crap | added 100 more bones. 60 1,823 63.3K 658K
regan thee stallion @bimbo_h... 19h ... you gotta dabble in just enough recreational drug use in your youth to develop a solid taste in music, but not enough to permanently addle your brain. it's a fine line. 12 367 4,164 del 101K
sinni @0308archive - 20h i liked everything you liked 5000 years before you liked it. i was in the temples reading scripture and prophesizing. 29 5,359 22K 323K
Mr. Chau @Srirachachau 12h ... Overlook Hotel July zel Scott 1921 1:01 0 McGruff the Crime Dog addresses the national fentanyl crisis VDEM 175K views 6 months ago 25 229 3,628 103K
Spaghetti @SpaghettiC11.23h - Elon Musk should buy Linkedln and run that to the ground too 142 3,436 34.2K 619K
nate of the living dead @MNa... 18h ... has the costco PR department like. acknowledged the weird costco children? or are they smart enough to know when something is too weird to be good news 55 361 28.5K del 697K
Jared Gilman @realJaredGilm... 20h ... i i know i'm not a parent but this seems like a comically low bar to clear PARENTS WHO SPEND 15 MINUTES PER DAY WITH THEIR CHILD CAN IMPROVE THEIR HEAL TH AND WELLBEING a - Tuscan ELAMENTARIA SCHOOL 125 879 25.5K 328K
Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais 23h ... TORONTO - The Rizzler is like if Grogu was from AVERYDOSM Jersey City. 41 1,515 29.2K 956K
Nate @thenatewolf.14h I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while. 10 1,548 11.4K 186K

 Image provided by Cracked

Hustlanani @hustlanani - 1 1d ... I'm tired of spending money to hang out, yall don't like sitting on the porch? 90 4,115 18.1K 414K
@gutsdoc2 21h ... You watched 1m The Godfather 1972 1/2 boring as hell.. stupid movie The Godfather You watched 2m Olivia Rodrigo: GUTS World Tour 2024 OLIVIA HOLYYY SHITTTT RODRIGO GUTS WORLD TOUR 115 4,429 37.3K 564K
my name is your name 00.1d I can't die before I smell this bird matt prior @mattthesparrow.1 1d The Cream-coloured Woodpecker is the strangest woodpecker I have seen. The colours are both stunning and bizarre. What is even more strange is that they smell of lemon! 12 314 3,831 105K
Tom Zohar @TomZohar22h CARY DUBEK THE GAY MINUTE Gay Son née Brother POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.1 1d Joe Jonas voted 'Makes BRAT Look Sexiest' in PEOPLE Magazine Readers' Choice Poll. 8 236 4,519 195K
inspector ratchet @_hood_mo... 20h ... Not to get political, but what is everyone wearing for Toyotathon this year 55 259 1,765 47.8K
titus @TitusDoesArt. 1d ... Yeah they made it without a camera it's pretty easy. Is Transformers: One out? 1d THIS IS ALL ONE SHOT. NO CUTS! No shaky cam with masterful framing. Just pure Transformers actiony goodness!! 23 135 2,161 109K 2.3M
SengoCo @MulopuNana 1d : Chinese neighbor sent over a plate of Chilli pork, i sent i back the plate with some diced mango and a thank you note, then he send over half a giant watermelon, it's my turn and I'm panicking.. 1,263 13.9K 305K 4.5M
Shamir @ShamirBailey 1d I was BLASTING Tegan and Sara thru these jawns Halloween QENNY The... 3d What are you playing through these speakers? 24 421 5,384 191K
Deerposts @Deerpostss 19h ... heedra Follow ... Oct 15 just watched this guy fumble two does in a row 53 3,311 64.1K 705K
full-snack developer @n... . 1d ... i met i a dude a few days ago and as soon as he called my purse my pocketbook i said i know you real cool with yo granny 95 2,747 53.8K del 768K
Blank. @TheMSeries1.22h Calling her big dawg>>> Hollyn @sadlifeebro • 1d calling your partner my love is cringe. 141 6,169 45.9K 2.9M
@ryxnf . 1d ryan we're days away from hillary telling people to wawk tuah the polls 15 857 16.3K del 286K
WyldKat @ANiMaListicAN-21h ... Well, there's this НА НА !! ? Oh i call u sneeze cuz that gazoon tight Reply Hollyn @sadlifeebro. 1d calling your partner my love is cringe. 173 84.8K 4,843 4.5M
chase @funnysmartguy12. 1d ... I don't even speak English anymore That's highkey good lowkey Delivered 104 5,409 81.6K del 1.1M
ash @tripnf4ll.17h ... Smoking while having credit card debt is crazy like whoa I'm high as fuck and have to pay my credit card bill 22 1,178 12.4K 262K
sona @swiftlydunphy • 18h this comment about jason segel 8:12 53 JASON SEGEL i Comments oliviacmah 1w met him in an elevator once and he's just like that in real life! Super sweet and genuine. I told 1,800 him, My boyfriend's never gonna believe this, and he replied, Why? Do you lie to him often? Reply 66 1,223 54.7K 805K
just Dave @davelebies 1d ... they should schedule doctor appts like DOORS 8:15 Nurse 8:25 Doctor 8:40 62 3,524 70.3K del 1.3M
mouse radio @meatballworld.22h ... I love wearing flare leg yoga pants I feel like a beautiful horse 82 8,984 63.6K del 1M

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