35 Great Jokes That You Haven’t Heard Before

‘What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?’
35 Great Jokes That You Haven’t Heard Before

Thanksgiving is practically right around the corner, which means it’s time to start cataloging new jokes to delight/upset the people in your life at various gatherings. 

While you may have tried-and-true zingers that you’re known for, any true artist knows when it’s time to incorporate new material into their act. Thankfully, the jokesters of Reddit have a few lesser-known crowd pleasers that they’ve shared with the rest of us, including a joke about nuns that Catholics probably hate.

1up_for_life . 4y ago You really gotta hand it to blind prostitutes. + 744 ...
Oisean2327 4y ago 9 Why do some couples not go to the gym? Some relationships don't work out. 562 ...
RodamusLong 4y ago What side of a chicken has the most feathers? The outside. 762 ...
IronTemplar26 4y ago o The Ford F-150 has a towing capacity of 11,500 pounds That's my best pickup line 734 ...
The420St0n3r . 4y ago . Edited 4y ago . Why did the blind guy fall into the well? Не couldn't see that well.
WatchTheBoom E 4y ago e Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're pretty darn good at it. + 1.2K ...
 4y ago My girlfriend used to smoke after sex. Well that stopped once we started using lube + 1.2K ...
Mcbattlebot e 4y ago e How do you make a car top? Тер on the brake Tupid! + 5.1K ...
TNShadetree 4y ago What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face. + 1.7K ...
theoriginalstarwars 4y ago Kid comes home from school and says Dad, why did you name me Achilles? Не is a Greek hero and we have no Greek in our family. Well son, you did make it through the Trojan wall. + 1.8K ...
chacham2 . 4y ago What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxicabs. 715 ...
BlackNiger259 4y ago в So I had the worst day of my life yesterday and my friend told me that it could be worse and that I could be stuck in a hole filled with water somewhere. It's ok I know he means well 867 ...
Sabiis 4y ago . My wife's favorite Joke - What happened to the passengers of the pink ship when it crashed into the purple ship? They were all marooned! 522 ...
ripnetuk 4y ago Why do North Koreans draw the best straight lines ??? Because they have a supreme ruler. 870 ...
switchheart 4y ago What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction. 1.4K ...
PopTrogdor e 4y ago I was adopted by dolphins, but I don't really talk to them anymore. We just didn't click... 1K ...
_sweetLou . 4y ago Q: what does the moon do when he needs a hair cut A: eclipse it 620 ...
 4y ago How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate the tit a lot. 2.6K ...
2020Chapter 4y ago E I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to step on the moon. Neil before me. + 4.7K ...
 4y ago e What do you get when you cross human DNA with Goat DNA? You get kicked the hell out of the petting zoo + 5.8K ...
semimillennial 4y ago The orange juice complained to his therapist that no one wanted to drink him because he had too much pulp. Не was so depressed that he wanted to throw himself from the highest refrigerated shelf. Try to restrain yourself, said the therapist. 562 ...
DeciduousDentition 4y ago What do you call a child born out of incest? A Gross Domestic Product + 23K ...
beepbeepsputnik . 4y ago 2 horses were fighting over a hay bale. It was the last straw. 2.5K ...
 4y ago What's the difference between a rib eye steak and a meteorite. Ones pretty meaty, and the others a little meteor. + 11K ...
Benfreakenwyatt 4y ago 0 What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste + 1.3K ...
mossycavities 4y ago e How many bones are in a human hand? A handful + 17K ...
Mangosta007 4y ago . On Sunday I stuck my hand into a feather pillow and had a rummage around. I did the same on Monday and Tuesday. This morning I went to my psychotherapist and told him I've been feeling down for a few days. 6.4K ...
Tiberius-the-Cuddler 4y ago What do you call a little boy who's half French and half Scottish? A oui lad + 19K ...
JohnFrodo 4y ago . Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a man in a trenchcoat runs up and flashes them. Two of the nuns have a stroke. The third can't quite reach. 155 ...
fallowmoor 4y ago A guy is late for work and gets pulled over for speeding. The officer comes to the window and asks for license and registration. The guy says well officer i can't do that. You see, this is a stolen vehicle The officer then says Is that so? I'm gonna need to know if there are any weapons in the vehicle. And the guy replies yes sir, there's a gun in the glove compartment. The officer is now more on edge and says sir, I need you to step out of the vehicle with your hands up and
 4y ago This is the only joke I know, a classic dumb blond joke. A blonde is sitting in a shoe store surrounded by at least 50 boxes of shoes. She says to the shoe salesman, None of these are good enough, do you have some alligator shoes? The exasperated saleman replies with some venom, Lady if you want alligator shoes, go get an alligator. Salesman driving home sees the blond on the bank of the river. She is wrestling an alligator. An epic battle. At last, she throws the dead alligator on top of a pile of alligators
Silent-Zebra 4y ago . An elderly couple were in church during the Sunday morning sermon. All of a sudden the wife whispers to her husband, I've just done a silent fart. What should I do? The husband replies, turn up your hearing aids. + 8.5K ...
LWrayBay 4y ago E I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing, but I can't put my finger on it. 4.8K ...
ADDeviant-again 4y ago My wife said she wants to, you know, experiment more in the bedroom..... but it looks like I'm in the control group. + 16K ...
 4y ago . A bear walks into a bar and says, I'll have a gin....................... .................and tonic. The bartender replies, Why the big paws? 721 ...

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