30 Times Childhood Innocence Went Hilariously Wrong

‘Since they were all born in 1969, they called themselves, The 69 Boys’
30 Times Childhood Innocence Went Hilariously Wrong

It’s fun to reminisce about the time when our mind was pure. One Redditor remembers going on a school field trip to a farm, where he met Simon, a beautiful ox with huge horns. When they got back to school, the teacher had each child write a poem about their favorite animal from the farm. Our then-innocent Redditor ended up reading his poem, titled “Horny Simon,” in front of the entire class. 

These are the kinds of stories other Redditors revealed when they thought about their blissfully unaware younger selves, including a couple of band names that will bring tears to your eyes.

MicCheck123 13y ago A friend has a son, who was about three when this event happened. Не was still learning how to pronounce words correctly....and had trouble with the L in flags. Unfortunately, has he was pointing out the flags to his mother (Mommy, look at the fags), two gentlemen holding hands happened to be nearby, within earshot. This was in the US, so no one thought he was referring to cigarettes. 48 ...
LickNux 13y ago e I called my cousin Dylan 'dildo' for the longest time because it sounded funny. Little did I know... + 43 ...
aguacongas 13y ago . Edited 13y ago as a little boy a friend of mine wrote a play in a poetry shakespeare class and named the main character Fellatio. hahah!
secretplan 13y ago I was on vacation with my parents and we rented a cottage that came stocked with a bunch of old board games, including a Canadian themed version of Monopoly. We played it on a rainy day and my playing token was a beaver. When I won, I started singing: My beaver is the best, I love my beaver. Props to my mom though for actually explaining to me why it was so funny. 49 ...
here_involuntarily 13y ago 0 I did this exact same thing when I was about 8 or 9. Two friends and I were part of a church quiz team (honest), that would compete with other church teams about our age. We called ourselves the KKK because all our first names began with K. 63 ...
13y ago When I was in third grade I invented a new animal that I loved to paint. It was essentially the body of a monkey (painted as a brown upside-down V) and all sorts of colors streaming out of the top, resembling a peacock's tail (or so I thought). I cleverly named the new animal the MonkeyCock. My friends and I regularly bragged about how good our MonkeyCocks were. 75 ...
corndograt . 13y ago When I was about 6 I complimented a classmate on their gold cross necklace. I said it was pretty and asked if that was a skeleton stuck to it. The kid didn't tell me what it actually was and it was another year or so before I knew about Christianity. + 54 ...
rapier999 13y ago I had a good friend in third grade named Aiden. One day our teacher had us make these huge envelopes with our names on them to go on the back wall, where she'd put our newsletters and tests etc. We could decorate them however we liked. Aiden thought he'd take the opportunity to coin a new nickname for himself, so in big, bold, colourful, capital letters, he wrote AIDS upon his envelope. I don't think the teacher ever called him out on it, but it makes me cringe to remember it now. 59 ...
MrCuppcake 13y ago When I was younger, I was obsessed with the teenage mutant ninja turtles and would come up with and draw other mutated animal hero types. I drew a series of mutated army ants and each one was a specialist in a specific field. There was a Sergent/leader type, a sniper, intel and a few others. My favorite one was a demolition/explosions expert who I unknowingly named 'Blowjob'. I could never figure out why the adults would laugh when I showed them my drawings until I learned what a blowjob was. 62 ...
MyMomSlapsMe 13y ago I trained some little kids to use the sound board at their school for plays and such, and they called themselves the Techs In Training or TITs for short. + 104 ...
13y ago . me and a friend made up a game involving a blue racquet ball. We played on a court we drew out with chalk, made up rules and a scoring system. Played it all the time. We called it Blue Balls 152 ...
tamumike3 13y ago o As recently as 7th grade, I thought orgasm and organism were the same thing, so yelling it's the Protozoa orgasm! as loud as I could made everyone laugh and the teacher frown 113 ...
RatSandwiches 13y ago Somewhere in the world exists a videotape of me at the beach with my family. I am sitting in the sand grinning. Person holding the camera asks me what I'm doing. I loudly proclaim, I made a butthole! It's a hole for my butt! A BUTTHOLE! 170 ...
ChewiestBroom 13y ago When I was six or seven, I heard my mom say douchebag when someone cut her off in traffic. I thought it sounded hilarious, and I didn't know it could be offensive, so I just spent the entire day saying DOUCHEBAG DOUCHEBAG DOUCHEBAG! and giggling maniacally. 186 ...
MeadowlandFan 13y ago I created a cartoon porcupine in 5th grade and didn't understand why it was such a BIG DEAL that his name was prick. + 341 ...
Cheeseish 13y ago . In elementary school, I would play this pirate game at lunch with a bunch of friends where we run away from the pirates, which would pretend to have hooks for hands. We called it hookers on the loose. 304 ...
PeacockDoom 13y ago e I wrote a short story in grade school. The main character was called Master Bate. + 235 ...
13y ago E This is something my father did as a child, when he was 13 years old he started a band with two of his friends. Since they were all born in 1969 they called themselves the 69 boys. 244 ...
Kofdez 13y ago When I was 4 or 5, my cousin told me that bitch was the word for female dog. She neglected to tell me, however, what a bad swear word it was. My Asian mother is born in the Chinese year of the dog. so, cue me, at dinner, going up to her and saying Hey mum, you're a bitch! 235 ...
tits_hemingway 13y ago My great aunt breeds and raises prize-winning roosters for both shows and sale. English is her second language after French, and rooster in French is coq, so she always calls her roosters cocks because it's a natural translation. In first grade I did a five minute presentation on how much my great aunt loves cocks and how many cocks she could take care all by herself. Everyone else in the class got it but me. + 361 ...
Oafah 13y ago I confused the word ironic with erotic on a regular basis, and wasn't corrected until I was about 14. In one such story I wrote as a young child, I remember the line ...and he hatched an erotic plan to defeat Cao Сао, by declaring himself the emperor. + 516 ...
ImElectroGirl 13y ago e When I was about 7 we had to make music for a class project in goups of 2-4. I was with my boyfriend and out initials were J and В. Our band was called BJ Lovers + 631 ...
cdr268 13y ago . When i was a little kid i used to be obsessed with Ghostbusters apparently, and my parents always used to say i would run around in public saying Go Bastards instead of Ghostbusters. Which obviously attracted funny looks from people. + 695 ...
13y ago When was about 8 I had a sleepover with family friends. We decided after our parents had put us to bed that we weren't sleeping anytime soon. We invented this game where we chased each other around the room trying to ruffle each other's hair, which we named 'shagging' . So our parents who were downstairs came up because of the noise and we told them we were 'shagging' one another, and we couldn't understand why they found it so hilarious. + 762 ...
mausmtn 13y ago I've shared this before, but once I asked my mom what word meant to play with oneself (as in solitary play with toys or a game) and she told me masturbate. So if people asked me what I was doing when I was playing, I would say I was masturbating. I thought I was clever for knowing an uncommon word and my mom never corrected me. + 1K ...
magicroot75 13y ago e I was seriously disgruntled with a meal my mother served me back when I was around 12. I said, What is this slut? Thinking slut was just gonna be another word like sludge. Nope. + 853 ...
1nteger 13y ago e When I was in like third grade my mom called her best friend her girlfriend so I thought that I would call my best friend my boyfriend. Yeah that wasn't a good day for me. + 54 ...
iamnotparanoid 13y ago I already posted this story in a different tread, but once I tried teaching my 5 year old niece how to play Chess and Risk. both times I wound up with the black army. Her mom asks he what we're doing, and she answers playing the games where you kill black people. + 1.1K ...
polyannapolyfilla . 13y ago . After a school trip to a farm, we had to write a poem about our favourite animal. So I wrote an ode to Simon, the huge sleepy ох who had been blessed with enormous horns. Which led to me reading the epic poem 'Horny Simon' in front of the whole class. + 1.3K ...
Fiveby5 13y ago In literary circle in 6th grade, I was trying to explain the relationship between two boy characters in the book we were reading. I tripped over my words and forgot what I was going to say, and instead of explaining how one character used the other, I said, They're like, friends with benefits. The entire class laughed at me. I had no idea what I said. Oh god why. 10 ...

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