30 Funny Lies People Kept Up

‘I’m in too deep at this point…’
30 Funny Lies People Kept Up

Sometimes, telling a lie serves no purpose other than providing entertainment. One Redditor understands this concept well, admitting that she told her students that she doesn’t get along with another teacher of theirs. There was no reason for her to do this, as she’s actually friends with the teacher. But when the kids started openly badmouthing them to each other, they decided to keep the bit going for their own amusement. 

Other Redditors have remembered the times they kept a funny, weird or extravagant lie going, and it seems like dishonesty is the spice of life.

earhere 2y ago I didn't want to come to work one day, so I called and said someone stole my car so I couldn't make it. Then for the next two weeks I had to take the bus and walk 3 miles from the bus stop to my job, and after those two weeks I had my drivers' side window rolled down and taped clear plastic over the window to appear that someone had broken into it, so I could further show that the car had been stolen. In retrospect it probably wasn't worth all the trouble. 23 ...
GeebusNZ 2y ago There was a softcore porn sort of mens magazine called FHM (For Him Magazine) which contained a lot of interesting articles between the scantily clad women. I would buy it regularly and read it in communal spaces in my last years of highschool. I was a closeted gay man and that was a part of my cover. + 545 ...
Drife1994 2y ago Met my wife on one of those telephone chat dating things in the 90's. Basically, before OKCupid, you would sign up for a voicemail and describe yourself. We connected and went out but were both embarrassed for using it. Fast forward 18 years, we continue to tell everyone we met in the music section at Borders. + 715 ...
eggplant_wizard12 E 2y ago I once wrote and published a childrens book to cover up a lie I told to a girl I liked + 26 ...
7y ago I'm pretty good friends with a colleague that teaches the same group of kids that I do. One day in class, I made an off the cuff comment about how we don't get along. The kids believed it, so I went with it and texted her to go along with it too. We kept it going for almost two years with the kids openly badmouthing each of us in the other's classes. + 854 ...
bayareabossypants 7y ago My first day on the job at a local fast food restaurant we were robbed at gunpoint. It was my first job as a teenager and I knew if I told my parents they would make me quit. When they asked how my first day went I said fine. 480 ...
GangreneDream 7y ago I live in the UK where being circumcised isn't that common, I am circumcised. I also have a massive beard. When I first met my Ex I told her very seriously that I was circumcised because I was Jewish. She believed it for way longer than she should have. + 508 ...
suitology 8y ago friend of mine pretended to be left handed to switch his seat in class so he could sit next to this cute thin blonde girl that smells like strawberries that was actually left handed. Не learned to write left handed and even switched hands for sports. he did this from 9th grade until we graduated. They are still going and he is ambidextrous now. + 1.6K ...
Thatrandomguy007 8y ago Ever since 7th grade, all of my closest friends have believed that I'm color blind. None of them know to this day, which is surprising, since my story detailing why I was suddenly became color blind was pretty much Daredevil's origin story. + 82 ...
gerry2stitch 7y ago - Edited 7y ago That I am allergic to pot. Told this to get out of trying it when I was 15. For various reasons have had to keep it up for 20 years. I have no problem with weed smokers, I just don't like having to get hassled when I turn it down. Not that that happens much anymore.
Portarossa 7y ago I wrote erotica for many years before I switched over to romance novels - glorious filth that basically allowed me to pay off my student loans. If anyone in my family asks, I was writing corporate reports. No one has ever asked me what a 'corporate report' is, thankfully, because I'm pretty sure my response would be something along the lines of '... you know, it's business stuff, for businesses,' followed by me repeating the word synergy until they went away. + 7.1K ...
ruzzellz 7y ago At the beginning of the year in school, we were all supposed to tell the class one interesting thing we had done over the summer, and I of course had stayed home and done nothing all summer, but I didn't want everyone else to know that, so when it came to be my turn I just made something up. For some reason the first thing that came to my head was Africa, and that's what I said, that I went to Africa. For years I've had to remember who heard that, and to keep my lie going.
7y ago I didn't want crab salad my wife (then gf) had made. So I told her I was allergic to shellfish. Continued for about 10 years when we went to go visit my family in CA and didn't want to pass up this awesome seafood place. + 1.8K ...
toadfan64 7y ago Don't really do it anymore, but for years in middle and highschool I would tell everyone that me and another kid were related since we had the same last name since I knew it annoyed him. + 8.4K ...
Mmmindy247 . 1y ago I've told people my whole life I was half French bc my mom's side of the family speaks it... turns out I'm Canadian LOL 13 ...
1y ago I'm a woman who has been writing, drawing and animating extreme male-on-male gay porn for 20+ years now. I don't want young yaoi fangirls (and their drama) for followers so I've all this time pretended to be a gay male. My fans are all adult and fun people who love to speak about smut and have never stopped to support me all these years. 3 ...
DiaDeLosMuebles 1y ago It was a lie born out of confusion, but maintained after I realized the mistake. My wife and I were talking about our favorite bands when we started dating, and we realized that we were at the same concert when we were younger. I later realized that I was at a different show/city but never corrected it. We've been married for over 15 years and it's all based on a lie. 2 ...
ZergonautRS 7y ago I was seeing this girl once back in college that was also a workout buddy after our classes. She had REALLY bad body odor when she got to sweating but we are in the gym a lot so of course it's going to happen. However instead of just telling her about it I told her I could never notice it because I didn't have a sense of smell. Well this lie spread from this one girl all the way to my family that STILL believes that I don't have a sense of smell. It's been 8 years
7y ago When I first started dating my ex-wife, I told her my little brother was Samoan. This is because though he is six years younger than me, he is about 6 taller, much broader, and his hair is WAY dark, compared to the rest of the family. She didn't think anything of it. Met my brother. She even understood that we both had the same parents. It just never clicked with her. She would bring it up occasionally and I'd just go along with it. Eventually she brought it up at a family dinner and my whole family
jennareiko 1y ago That my sister is allergic to almonds. I told her that when we were children and somehow gaslit the whole family and 30 years later everyone still believes she's alergic 3 ...
pumpe88 1y ago I used to not like peanut butter but when I told people that they would freak out so I started saying I was allergic to peanuts. Now I don't mind peanut butter and one of my old friends was like wait there peanut in that as I was about to eat a Reese's peanut butter cup and I told him I outgrew it + 13 ...
FROSCH_AMETHYST 1y ago That I have family up in Canada that I go see every once and a while but really when I'm going somewhere for a long period of time, I don't want people to know about where I am actually going, I just say I'm going to see my cousins up in Toronto, Canada + 47 ...
im_just_exsisting 1y ago When I was 6 my brother and I were playing around on the treadmill and I fell getting a burn mark on my arm and knee. We weren't suppose to be on the treadmill so we told my parents I fell down the stairs. I'm 35 and they still talk about me falling down the stairs and getting scars 14 ...
peachgarden_ 1y ago Before my first day at a new job many moons ago, I was queuing at the local Starbucks for a coffee. It was really busy and loud and I didn't want to hold up the line spelling out my non-English name, so I said Jane. Anyway, I was Jane every day for five years and felt like I was living the most low stakes double life. + 55 ...
MikeSizemore e 2y ago My partner and I pretended to be vegetarian for 10 years to avoid her aunt's awful cooking. By the end we were actually vegetarian. + 534 ...
2y ago My brother got away with one for 15 years because he doesn't like cats. Ex-SIL: I've always loved cats but he's allergic Mom: no he's not Brother: crap! + 328 ...
SuspicousStrain 1y ago One day my group of friends and I weighed our penises on a scale to compare our size (That is so painful to type lol). Anyway I was last and I lied and made up some number that was higher than everyone else when in reality it wasn't. So now when we tell that story while joking around about our past I always just own it that I have the heaviest penis of all my friends, but I know inside that Steven's penis was heavier :(: Feels bad. + 146 ...
Wheaurk 2y ago I've spent more than eight years in the same residence. My neighbours are quite welcoming. Every time they see me go outside, they say hello, especially the wife. Every time, she'll wave, say, Hi, Rebecca! and flash a wide smile. Rebecca is not my name. At this time, it would be too awkward to fix. I simply had to take responsibility for it. + 1.4K ...
walmart_bread 2y ago I once burnt chocolate chip cookies I was making for a baby shower. In a last ditch effort, I picked up two dozen cookies from McDonald's. My plan wasn't to mention anything to anyone, but one of our close friends was asking about the recipe and I said it was a McDonald's copycat recipe I found on Pinterest. I quickly found a recipe I'd never tried before and shared it with her. My husband jumped on board and supported me, even though he knew the truth. Не even promised to never tell a soul about the McDonald's
antiskylar1 2y ago I didn't want to eat chili, so my first response was I am cutting back on my meat intake. Went vegan for 2 years. 12 ...

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