37 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Will yourself to be tolerant
37 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Hannah Einbinder is “sick and tired” of hacks, and she’s not talking about her critically acclaimed Max comedy. Einbinder made an appearance on The Last Laugh podcast and lambasted “egomaniacal” comics like Jerry Seinfeld who blame the “P.C. woke leftist mob” when their “redundant” jokes don’t hit like they used to. She said these comics should be embarrassed for their “lack of evolution” and their inability to “look inward” when they fail.

Swinging the other way, the legendary Carol Burnett lamented that comedy today is “not funny.” Burnett was a guest on the Variety Awards Circuit Podcast, and described contemporary comedy as “scatological” and “blue,” which she believes makes for low-hanging, unearned laughs. Burnett said that series like All in the Family and The Mary Tyler Moore Show still hold up because they’re “funny and character-driven.” 

Wherever you land on the comedy spectrum, there’s bound to be a tweet on the timeline to make you laugh. Today’s funniest include those about a suspicious animal crossbreed, a witch’s curse and the relationship between sour cream and salsa.

Nay @14ngels 15h Shakespeare could never! momo you pretty , he ugly , u swan , he frog ! 08-03 Reply kat @albertcamslut. 15h Imagine going through a rough patch with your - - - boyfriend and thousands of Chinese... 37 15.6K 119K 2.8M
Versace Hottie @evilrashida 22h Ok so what the fuck does dental coverage actually cover like for real 1,073 3,620 48.2K del 1.9M
brady! @19brady9 12h When I was a tiny baby a witch put a curse on me to eat chips 8 701 3,870 del 111K
Andrew Donaldson @four4the... 14h ... Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy and paste commands, dies at 74. G3 @armatusG-14h Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy and paste commands, dies at 74. x.com/judianna/statu... 163 5,420 54.6K 1.8M
Chris Stephens @ChrisStephe... 15h ... asking people in the front row if they're a couple Matt Rife is living his comedy dream. Now for the hard part- maintaining it saying Uh oh! Trouble in paradise? Los Angeles Times 6 198 5,819 148K
gal kilmer @beepupkin • 9h ... dvd regions stupid. stupid concept. we are One World. why must this poor disk be french 14 2,808 18.4K 292K
lady eva (of misrule) @_gloria... 18h ... believe women stimulant enjoyer @gotit... 20h My favourite new account on TikTok is the woman who's very clearly just painted her dog but has convinced some people she's managed to crossbreed an XL bully with a Leopard name too CC TikTok These hybrids can shakes outre 216 3,699 115K
Fire Alarm Puller @paynushurts . 10h ... Never hit like faster A random fact I love is Submarines only exist in movies 12 159 10.2K 148K
Mr.Nosebleed @PlayDeadMafia 10h ... Her next fart gone make her fly in the air like a jet pack NBZERRR @lillnb . 21h this much sour cream be needed. 43 116 1,225 95.1K
@qnorapname_.1d chappell roan sounds like a catholic NO RAP NA school in northeast with a decent football team 3 195 1,910 57.3K
KACHI @Kachidey4you 7h ... My dear it's called mental for a reason, will it be in your bag? Siffany @sylveeya01.8h I think mental illnesses are just all in your head. 193 7,475 36.4K 919K
taylor @tayforpay 19h getting my star rating up on marketplace 4:22 LTE 1 Bill Modern Wood Coffee Table Hi, is this available? Is the top faux stone or wood ? Message sent Yes solid wood Great thx ...need to run it by my husband 4:22 PM Gays! Can knock it down to 90 for you 282 14 15.2K 213K
Sweet Tea Grizzley @sweet... 12h ... The plan? Use homophobic slurs to increase jersey sales The Leanne @TheseLe... 16h The Leagues Jarren Duran's jersey sales have RKD SO Skyrocketed after his gay slur last night. 14 695 25.4K 1.9M

Image provided by Cracked

Local Woman @tiredfeminist_ 6h ... simple boi: mabele & amabele Follow @Queen_Finxa Lactose intolerance is a state of mind Just tolerate it simple boi: mabele & ama... 9h Just found out that I'm lactose intolerant 57 2,682 12.8K 389K
italian girl from new york @an... 12h ... gleek If you're ever sad, just remember the world is 4.543 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as cane's box combo no slaw extra toast extra sauce 38 1,441 13.7K 634K
lil rolex (im famous on myspace) 8h ... OSAKA - DL Day Why they write dis on my food 3 113 1,435 33.2K
Pedro J. García @fuertecito. dd ... sybil grimalkin @joblessthursday i love film updates cause u can really tell which celebrities they want to fuck FILM LIPORTES Film Updates @FilmUpd.... 1d James McAvoy in 'SPEAK NO EVIL' 8 2,891 50.4K 908K
Travonne Edwards @Travonne 22h if i ate this whatever plans i had for the morning probably not gonna happen yo favorite nigga @MainmanPeanut 1d Cooked brunch today... steak tips, grits, and eggs to start the day 33 3.2K 36K 1.2M
Logan @DiamondSpiderP 21h To be fair, Harrison Ford might genuinely not have known what a Red Hulk is Lazy WitchM @scarlazywitch . 1 1d The Marvel Liars Hall of Fame It's Photoshop! STAR TREK PICARD Who is Doctor Strange? What is a Red Hulk? ACOLYTE I'm not in the movie. 111K 40 4.9K 1.3M
Divine @bloodieluvie 19h saying come over to someone who lives 9657 miles away 179 4.3K 20K 621K
Paladin Posting @DevotionOath - 6h THIS IS HOW MY HEART BURNS FOR THEE BTW. IF THOU PRITHER DOST EVEN CARE. Mauro @moremoremauro . 1d Bro im not gonna try baking muffins ever again im going to bed 6.2K 40K 1.1M 44
sinneD @_Kiogora_ 9h Close enough, welcome back A-train. Nico @abednico_gwap.2 22h Ahh noo Letsile o cool blind! Aura Personfied His HIM PARIS 2024 PARI BOTSWANA ООО DOZ 124 5.7K 33K 865K
в @DontWorryBoutB•1 10h .. the toothbrush you get to take home after you pay for the cleaning Versace Hottie @evilrashida . 22h Ok so what the fuck does dental coverage actually cover like for real 7 1.4K 11K 300K
30 @__dearshae 1d y'all not real lovers dead @_xnes . 1d yall waking up and kissing each other with dragon breath? 2 1.7K 6.1K 271K
DON'T CRASH KEEP DRY paddle @ipaddlearound.17h ... DON'T CRASH KEEP DRY ill bet sour cream and salsa dont really like eachother on a DON'T CRASH personal level but when they get in the studio together its undeniable 11 1K 21K 450K
Sisa @TheTitanBaddie 5h ... Me and my homegirl enjoying my millions. Stacy Andy @StacyAndy9. 16h You won 50 million and your best friend eye surgery is 49 million, what will you do ? 3.5K 118 19K 695K
Soundwave @LocalSoundwave. 1d 2 in the chest SpidaVerse @Wonov....2 2d How much you think a GameStop will give me? TONY HAWK'S PROVING GROUND CARBON CIVIN THE GITY SINTENOODS ACTIVIDOR boon PLAYER'S CHOICE P PS4 COOKIE NBA 2K19 . collins PoKeMoN GREEK x RISE FREAK FEAR THE PEARL DEER ATHENS NAMCOMUSEUM LECALT VIRTS Fellar and ann DJUDOO - SEP L NINTENDODS FA ALL New games STAR NAMED facebook adidas WINGSSSS namco P PS4 B PS4 P PS4 PARI GEORGE NBAZKIS изг. INBA2K17 SEOW ARAMA 35 PACERS EA SPORT 13 Man NEW 1% TEA 2K 2K P PS4 METRO STATION QATAR EA EA SPORTS
i can be your long lost pal @P... . 12h ... dying at the fucking horse FILMCRAVE Film Crave @_filmcrave. 1d Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield in John Crowley's 'WE LIVE IN TIME'. 183 4,410 92.7K 3.2M
Andrew Nadeau @TheAndre... 6h ... This'd be a great movie, like Planet of the Apes but with horses. Horses of the Apes. AFlor Place Noreen Masud @NoreenM... 2d terrified now i Animal behaviour Horses can plan ahead and think strategically, ALientists find 70 1,661 25.4K 908K
Amy W Schwartz @lizardschw... 6h ... Guess who definitely hasn't been into the greenhouse and taken a tomato 36 350 8,463 124K
Grip Bayless @talleyber... 23h ... Imao I bet the fuck you did Ballad @MrLoveBallad. dd Learned a couple of things about pineapples while wearing this shirt. SOL Gocos seer W 3 273 2,224 53.4K
Natalie @jbfan911.18h Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to take PTO 42 19.6K 123K 2.9M
Alex Dodds @alexgdodds 23h ... It's just the Car Talk archives. Wes Burdine @MnNiceFC 1d .@Tim_Walz release your summer playlist NOW 104 458 8,028 299K
Good Tweetman @Goodtwe... 1d ... He's looked like this for about a decade now Mail Online @Mail... . 1d Daily Mail Online Mel Gibson, 68, looks unrecognizable at Vince Vaughn's Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony in LA trib.al/ oN8Ruoo DES 53 129 12K 244K
- @_Gnarsenic • 1d Q: What is a nosey pepper likely to be doing? A: Gettin' all jalapeño business! What country suffered the worst two earth- quakes in history, killing 830,000 in 1556 and 750,000 in 1976? -China 19 1,104 17.4K 2.6M
Mike Scollins @mikescollins 15h ... (extremely trying to get on the jury) Oh interesting I've never heard of these two. V Variety @Variety 18h J.K. Rowling and Elon Musk Named in Cyberbullying Lawsuit Filed by Algerian Boxer Imane Khelif After Olympic Win (EXCLUSIVE) variety.com/2024/tv/news/j... 43 4,630 84.7K 1.5M
rob trench @robtrench.2h This makes me want to be a dad Godzilla Perfect Shots @... . 22h 3 192 2,493 86.2K

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