25 of the Funniest Things Seen on a Train

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25 of the Funniest Things Seen on a Train

Whether you call it the train, the tube or the subway, one thing remains the same: You’re going to see strange stuff. It’s a known fact that public transportation is where people let their freak flags fly, and the following Redditors have really taken in some sights. From a wizard-looking guy with a pet crow to a guy who cleaned his shoes with a dead fish, these are the main characters of our country’s railways. 

There’s definitely a special place in our hearts for the two older guys who erected a tent in the middle of a railcar, explaining that they did it every year “to celebrate their birthdays.” Rock on, kings!

tylermc94 8y ago When I used to live in Boston I was on the T going to my girlfriends place pretty late at night. A guy got on who seemed pretty drunk to the point that he looked like he was gonna fall over on his own. For some reason he was holding most of a cake in front of him. When the train started moving the guy falls flat on the floor face first into the cake. Everybody is laughing and he looks up, and there's a strawberry from the cake stuck to his face. Не looks around, pulls
leafeator 12y ago I saw a guy with a Burger King tattoo on his cheek. Never have I bean so judging of ones tattoo choice. Share 46 ...
theflyingfishmonger 12y ago an old man told me I would burn in hell because I said fuck. But he looked like the old guy from Up, including the cane with the four tennis balls, so I forgave him. 12 Share ...
flonken 8y ago e Edited 8y ago A man in his underwear, hands tied behind his back, wearing a backpack, carrying a taperecorder in the backpack, playing loud-ass sounds from an adult movie. Не was alone and on his way to his bachelor party. 7 Share ...
OtoCCto0toCC 8y ago A drunk homeless man walks out of the subway car to the edge of the tracks and drops his pants and turns around. Не squats to take a shit on the tracks. I was surprised he didn't fall in. 15 Share ...
name-taken 12y ago This 70+ year old man came on the Skytrain and starting singing a rendition of I'm dreaming of a White Christmas except his version was about a white supremist Christmas. Не started waving his cane around and loudly demanding to know why everybody wasn't singing along with him. 11 Share ...
shineq 12y ago On a morning commute to Central London, I saw 4 guys get on the tube train wearing bikinis, wigs and make-up. This has actually happened more than once. 4 Share ...
Booyou79 8y ago It was St. Patrick's day, the subway was packed. We get to Union station (Toronto), a bunch of very good lookin Irish guys hope on, like a good 15 of them. Train start moving and they all break out in song, it was amazing. By the end everyone on that train was singing Oh Danny boy! 7 Share ...
HabseligkeitDerLiebe 12y ago Pacman. That's what I call him. This guy must have had liver failure or something but he was yellow. His whole skin was a bright Simpson-yellow and he just sat there. 6 Share ...
zerOace . 12y ago Mariachi band. It was a party on the subway for two stops. Share 70 ...
Myxomitosis87 a 12y ago I once saw a woman take a shit right on the subway floor. Guess she couldn't hold it in. The worst part was there was at least 7 or 8 people on the subway and no one said anything. I guess Canadians really are too polite. Share 35 ...
screenwriterjohn в 12y ago Guy masturbating without hands. Не used his wrist stubs to jerkoff under his sweatpants. LA public transit!!! Share 44 ...
mondaythecat18 12y ago A 1-2 hour ride on the Metro and this lady who had no nose was staring at me the entire time from across the train car. She literally had NO NOSE. It was just a medical gauze pad taped to the middle of her face which appeared to have nothing under it. Share 49 ...
CGN_1995 8y ago An old crazy lady sat next to me and started yelling and spitting into my ear, that I am about to be fucking killed by her son because I wouldn't let him sit there. I asked her where her son is. She continued spitting and yelling, saying he is right next to her. Well...there was nobody. I didn't bother telling her that and just got up and moved seats. She continued screaming, saying that she will haunt my dreams. Then she vomitted all over her lap and I got off the train. I avoid using the subway
damanic 8y ago New Yorker here I once saw two lebanese gentleman erecting a 2 person tent in the middle of the 2nd carriage at about 6pm heading North. I asked them what they were doing and they claimed that every year they did it once to celebrate their birthdays. 84 Share ...
ProfessorTeru 5y ago Half a can of cat food with a fork in it. 251 Share ...
konag0603 8y ago A used condom tied to a handrail on the F train in NYC. 47 Share ...
The_Withheld_Name 5y ago There was a bathtub. An old-fashioned bathtub with feet on the bottom, with these three homeless-looking guys sitting in it. It looked like they were washing each other's backs, & as we drove past I could faintly hear, Scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub. Share 1.5K ...
_PM_ME_YOUR_NIPPLES 8y ago It was summer, so all the girls were in flip flops. And a guy slowly walked down the length of the car, holding his phone, and stopping to take a picture of each of their feet. It still creeps me out. 36 Share ...
 5y ago I've been riding the subway and the commuter rail trains in Massachusetts for 30 years. Been on about 5 trains that have hit people. Seen a crazy woman chasing an innocent female passenger and the go on to kick the crap out of a male subway inspector who intervened. One of my favorites was the guy who fell asleep standing up, leaning forward against the doors. The train stopped, doors opened, and he just slowly feel forward like a tree falling in the woods. Never put his hands down.... slap, right onto the platform. Turned over like
noisyturtle 5y ago Not a subway worker, but rider. I once saw a guy 'clean' his shoes with a dead fish. Не just rubbed a dead fish all over his shoes making them shine with goo. I don't know what he was going for but he looked quite satisfied when he put them back on his feet. 674 Share ...
shinyhappycat 5y ago Was on the London underground - the Tube if you will - and saw a guy in full Jesus robes, bare feet, crown of thorns and a large wooden cross that he was balancing on his shoulder and dragging behind him. I'm guessing he was a pilgrim? 152 Share ...
 8y ago When I was 6 my mom, sister, and I were on a subway in New York and a black dude offered her crack, after my mom refused him, he sat down and started talking to her about the importance of being a good parent. She told me that story when I was 16 lol 86 Share ...
bagireck . 8y ago . Edited 8y ago An old guy with a living crow on his hand. Не had it tied on a thread around its leg. Also, he looked like a fuckin wizard.
WhiteManinthePalais 0 8y ago I had lady sit next to me and start rambling on about how FDR was secretly black which is why the government infected him with polio. Share 9 ...

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