26 of the Funniest Things Included on a Resume

‘Please do not drug test me’
26 of the Funniest Things Included on a Resume

Though a resume is annoying to write, the general rule of thumb is to only include information that would make you hireable — after all, your effort shouldn’t be in vain. But according to these Redditors, not everyone is on the same page about what that means, like the guy who listed his secondary languages as “Pig Latin, basic Tolkein Elvin and Parseltongue.” The specific job he was applying for wasn’t disclosed, but it’s hard to imagine an instance where any of those languages would be relevant. 

Surprisingly — or maybe unsurprisingly if you know a lot of dumbasses — this wasn’t the craziest thing a candidate disclosed in the hopes of being hired. Whether it was someone begging not to be drug tested or a girl who included her bra size, these are the funniest things seen on a job application

stuartiscool . 5y Entire CV in bright yellow. I could not read a word against the white paper. Made me wonder how many jobs she missed out on by doing this. ... 753
cjkawng . 5y My manager was laughing uncontrollably one day. I asked him what was up and he just held up a resume, unable to speak through the laughter. First comment on the resume said please do not drug test me ... 5.5k
Hungovah . ! 5y I once got a resume that described their last job as night stalker at Walmart. It was also hand written in pencil. ... 281
ButtsMcKracken . 14y Hobbies: Accounting Accounting experience: None Courses completed in accounting: None ... 317
50ShadesOfVader 5y Had a candidate apply for a trucking position, under previous experience had listed rear-ending cows and chickens. Not sure if he was trolling us or being serious. ... 625
bigheyzeus . . 5y got a resume the other day that had a name, phone number and i have not worked written on it. at least they were honest ... 761
thelTguy . 14y I took an app when I was a shift manager at Jimmy John's that was entirely misspelled. The position this guy applied for was Sawanch Makor. The word sandwich was printed on the application in 3 different places. I'm pretty sure he was fulfilling his required number of applications for unemployment. ... 41
singalong . 14y Working in a comic store, an applicant answered the question What do you value most in your life? with: To see my enemies driven before me and to hear the lamentations of their women. Edit: No, he wasn't hired. The manager was tired of getting applicants who didn't take it seriously. One of the other questions was What is your weakness?, to which a common answer was Kryptonite. Pasta was also listed on one. ... 537
bellpepper . . 14y I reviewed one that was to the effect of hugeraper123@yahoo.com. Twas supposed to read hugerapper123@yahoo.com. ... 78
sethstew . 1 14y When asked if he had ever been convicted of a crime, this person wrote Sexual assault on a miner. There's a snake in my boots! ... 298
otterberg1 . 1 14y I have a friend who got a job because he put Pokemon Master as one of his achievements on a job application. Granted, it was at a Mexican Restaurant, but it was still ballsy for a guy who didn't have a job. ... 246
kylemax . 14y My favorite resume was from a person claiming to be detal-oriented. ... 117
AceHax . . 14y Reading over a manger's shoulder, an application had all the usual good traits then for secondary languages was listed: Pig Latin, basic Tolkein Elven, and Parseltongue ... 79
JamiesLocks . 5y Had a guy apply to work the cash register at a store I managed. Не had no work history but was like 35-40 years old. I saw he put down that he had a felony armed robbery on his record and had been in prison for most of his adult life. I was managing the store he once held up. ... 9.7k
toiletscribble . 14y I saw an email address on a resume that was something to the effect of hotguy4u@domain.com Shit you not. ... 139
TheMeldub . 5y I received a resume where the persons objective was to save enough money to publish their own manga. All of his experience was centered around manga and watching anime and no actual work experience. Не also attached a photo of himself cosplaying as some anime character. The position was for a truck dispatcher. ... 296
beel24 . 14y One applicant, in 2008, included the URL to her livejournal and xanga accounts. These online journals included pictures of her dressed up in full anime character costumes. A few entries later was a rant about how she's fed up with people mistaking her for a child due to her lack of sexual development. People, it's cool if you have a personal website or journal. Just don't include it in your resume. ... 116
Sinkigobopo . 14y A man was applying for a network technician position. The only experience he listed was Second Life. Не said a video game was his experience that would help him to setup and maintain network hardware. ... 295
lavidalibre . 5y A 3x4 table under the header of Soft Skills. The bottom right cell reads Detailed Orientated with detailed being centered and orientated right- justified. ... 1.3k
specocean . 5y I once saw an application where the guy claimed he had a conical shaped head and was able to create possibilities. ... 669
Raithlin . 14y Once i got an application for an administrative position where the girl put her bra size. My boss laughed so much he had to go outside, and when he came back we scanned it and sent it to half the company. ... 146
SarahKalia 5y the applicant's past work experience: dishwasher - reason left? got in fight with boss sign waver - reason left? i lost the sign warehouse - reason left? coworkers were mean table busser - reason left? had to move back in with parents warehouse - reason left? got in fight with boss table busser - reason left? got in fight with boss dishwasher - reason left? boss was mean ... 130
prailock . 5 5y College driving job where you technically report to the campus police. There's a section in the application that says you can write down any questions you have so we can make sure to address them in the interview. Applicant's question: Does Officer  still work there? She arrested me for pot last semester but she fine as hell. Weirdly, didn't bother with the interview. ... 4.7k
appdump . . 5y Application at a restaurant I managed years ago Prior experience: school cook Reason for leaving: the passioned lefted ... 4.1k
nom_thee_ack 14y Last time I was looking though resumes to hire someone there were two that really amused me. First, someone sent a file run.jpg which was a picture of them running in a race. Second, was a guy who had everything you're not supposed to put on a resume - Age, race, married w/wife's name and a few other things, only skill listed was windows XP. and all in size 18 Times new roman font. ... 83
Teepz . 14y Application to a restaurant that I had worked at for a while. This was for the dishwasher position mind you. Able to recite movies with uncanny accuracy. Needless to say, he was hired. ... 195


Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?