54 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of April 14, 2025

You don’t have to choose wisely. It doesn’t matter
54 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of April 14, 2025

What do you get the man who has everything — especially when “everything” includes several hit TV showsa Welsh football cluba wife that rivals Bugs Bunny and a professionally-produced musical number teaching folks how to pronounce your last name

That’s the question that Marvel star/notable Hollywood bore Ryan Reynolds found himself grappling with ahead of pal Rob McElhenney’s 48th birthday this week. Instead of buying his friend a Porsche — or pleading with Apple TV+’s overlords to give Mythic Quest one more season — Reynolds did what any kind of Hollywood bro would do: He ret-conned the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia star into all of his old non-Deadpool movies to make up for having to cut his cameo in Deadpool & Wolverine.

“Now to make up for that, for your birthday this year, we’ve inserted you into many of my other films,” Reynolds explained in a clip uploaded to Twitter, before flaunting a reel of McElhenney poorly spliced into the background of Free GuyThe Amityville Horror and Woman in Gold

As Reynolds atones for cameos lost, a newly-unearthed anecdote from Nancy Cartwright’s memoir details one guest spot The Simpsons star wishes she could forget. In her book My Life as a 10-Year-Old Boy, the longtime voice of Bart Simpson recalled how little Kirk Douglas cared for his appearance in Season Seven’s “The Day the Violence Died.” “I’m only going to give you two takes then I’m outta here,” the actor reportedly said while in the sound booth. After messing up both attempts, Cartwright found a sneaky way to get Douglas to stick around for a third try, faking a sneeze in order to coax the Oscar nominee to read the line for a third and final time. 

Unlike Cartwright, we don’t need to trick you into reading the funniest tweets of the week. The best posts included those about Dick Cheney’s SNL debut, salmon’s link request and the real meaning of “gooning.”

uncle gworl Follow @_uncle_gworl she almost lost her best muncher SHEPARD NEW SHEPAS 0:06 From SUPER TV 11:16AM 4/14/25 5.1.5M Views
O katie kadue @kukukadoo.23h ... using the kierkegaard dash to show i'm human I LIFE MOOD 1. 1836. I have just returned from a party of which I was the life and soul; witty banter flowed from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me-but I came away, indeed that dash should be as long as the radii of the earth's orbit wanting to shoot myself. 102 @doxie_gay.2d an easy tell if someone uses chatgpt is if they use the long dash (-) nobody uses that 62 6K 59K 1.4M
jess @abolish_jess . 23h ... last night was a tubi original 13 1.3K 12K del 223K
venmo: ehjovan @ehjovan Apr 12 ... that one time i converted to islam on grindr say la illaha illa allah wa muhammad il rasool allah 5:19 PM 0:05 5:19 PM omggggg you just converted!!!!! congratulations king!! 5:20 PM WTFFFFFF? Delivered 5:20 PM Say something... 4 3.4K 132 del 74K
G ... East Village Guy @eastvillageguy y.23h Call me animal control the way I'm putting down these dogs ЭТА яGY 100 Poland Spring apple P - DÜT Vodka. I Real Juice Selt 132 2.9K 57K dal 1.4M
chance @chanceposts. 16h G ... wearing these without shaving, Bush was behind 9/11 Fromsoftsteve @littlenutsac_ 21h Can someone send me $180 it's important.. .... 9/11 Denim $180.00 USD Shipping calculated at checkout Limited quantity available Size: 32 Size chart zn 27 ZI. ZG 70 in 162 10K 132K 3.3M
canabliss @canablisss. 15h O ... the moon and stars look beautiful tonight GEEK BAR 7 135 1.3K 47K
7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000.21h s ... 7 Hour Goon Sesh With Paul Giamatti $2,624.00 43 bids $9.65 shipping 8d 22h Benefits charitv 27 276 8.1K 443K
Blake @blakes_online . 15h O ... Caught someone red dye 40 maxxing 13° Cheerp BLOW SH TOPPRIZE $250.000! Dorritos iZona 00000 acts CHEESE NACHO - Pe cum 1 mi 31 185 7.1K 160K
Perc @PercThaGoat 19h O ... Get the interior designers back on cocaine please @oocculture.20h 1980s private jet design 35 4.9K 66K del 1M
DA VINKI 0 ... @VorosTwins We just learned how to say HELLO in Mandarin! 1:42 PM Apr 14, 2025 607.7K Views 73 3.1K 68K 936
Dac @dick_lean Apr 14 G ... unusual_whales @unusual_whales Apr 14 60% of general admission ticket buyers at Coachella used Buy-Now- Pay-Later to finance their tickets, per Billboard. 22 1.1K 27K 1M ارار
G ... molly @girlbatz. 18h white people when they get a new bird feeder 77 3.2K 62K del 772K
Dudes Posting Their W's P G @DudespostingWs Apr 14 ... No lies detected People who drive faster than me? Reckless lunatics. People who drive slower than me? Annoying cowards. And me? Perfect, as per usual 147 6.6K 86K 3.1M
BC @quesadaaa_ Apr 13 G ... me when I like someone and wanna continue the convo CAPTAIN @captain07_. Apr 11 5 comments 5mo omg how do you make this Reply ... 215 18K 163K 3.7M
Travis Helwig @travishelwig 21h ... Going to space for 3 minutes is not going to space. You just paid millions of dollars to experience the same weightlessness you can get from being really drunk at Six Flags New England. 27 1.1K 27K 343K
the heart @Fredward3948576.2 20h ... Posting is like showing a little shoulder and batting your eyes, letting out a yoo-hoo and dropping your handkerchief 3 387 2.1K 36K
@ppyowna Apr 14 ... the feminine urge to say ouch when i bump into things that doesn't even hurt 94 21K 121K 1.8M
Tony Turner @tonytiger67.23h G ... I've just returned from Aldi. I don't go on about it. POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave Apr 14 Katy Perry has returned from space. PERRY SM a BLUE ORIGIN 630 630K 1.1K 18K
boo @yutagumi Apr 14 ... being in your 20s is so weird wdym I have to schedule gaming appointments with my friends 263 20K 191K del 3.4M
@ratlimit G ... @ratlimit call her a existenchalist the way she fartre 9:06 AM Apr 15, 2025 564.5K Views 2 565 7.9K 395
h0esmad @pl4yboib4rbie Apr 14 ... sorry i didn't text you back i have writers block 63 14K 65K del 1.2M
meera @hoshifyyy Apr 15 ... i saw u talking to yourself god forbid a girl asks an expert for advice 79 47K 195K del 2.6M
Pree @diabolicalpree.20h O ... The baddest bitch out of the salad family! Food Porn @FoodPornPhotos Apr 14 Caesar Salad... cravings 177 12K 76K del 2.2M
КР @kennyymontanaaa Apr 14 ... I always tell my job I got a son and they let me leave when I be like I gotta I don't even got no kids get to my son 340 4.1K 88K del 2M
O kurkure momos @aspatalchalo Apr 15 ... oh I HAVE AN IDEA 5:50PM 3 unread messages yes? 5:50PM dont kys 5:50PM thats not an idea 5:50PM + i should kms 160 8.2K 65K del 877K
Matt @mattdwille Apr 14 ... So I'm not spending any money for the rest of the month except if it's on film, cigs, fun snacks at the deli, weed, books, and maybe a fun party or two if something comes up 13 3.3K 29K 532K
thran_legacy @thran_legacy Apr 14 S ... Heres an example of why i haven't tried to put hats on Gusher not Do not tarb V.آمام 125 7.8K 153K del 2.2M
.... Z caitvi defender @celestialcurl Apr 15 thank you author for the heads up Notes: This is 47 pages of sex. 16.9k words of filth. 18 1.1K 27K del 349K
kath @v1vaciouslady Apr 15 ... just did a jane fonda workout omg what the fuck was going on in the 80s, they weren't messing about my whole body hurts meanwhile jane was still smiling and her blowout was perfectly in place 110 2.3K 74K del 1.3M
erika @yeeeerika Apr 16 ... you're like a coworker to me 7 1.1K 7.1K del 138K
Y @tinscognito_ . 23h 0 ... nutoka hazalnut chocolate spread Salmon: James Morgan @mulletrider . 23h Can anyone link me with a stream? 8 858 14K del 624K
s ... a @boopyape. Apr 15 ABT MISREAD THE SIZE IM GONNAKMSJESUSCHRIST INStree Replensishes moisture HYALURONIC ACID WATERY SUN GEL 50 10ml/0.33 k oz a @boopyape Apr 8 Just ordered all my Korean skincare that'll last me a year from my Korean app before these tariffs take off 177 3.4K 115K 2.2M
phosphor glow @phosphor_glow.23h O ... yeah lemme get the pepto glizzmol Sports Scran @SportScran . 23h Sausage and chips at @GF38_Officiel €6.50 (£5.59) 111 3.2K 68K 2.7M
Juicy Jay Jurden @JayJurden 20h ... Не should absolutely get to keep your money this time if u gave it to him V Variety @Variety 21h Fyre Festival 2 Postponed and Tickets Refunded, No New Date Announced variety.com/2025/music/new... 28 3.3K 38K 1.2M
Emma Szewczak @EmmaSzewczak-7h ... My Father-in-Law just told me that his hometown in central Poland has the world's oldest person at 147 years old. I told him I didn't think that was right. Не told me that my scepticism is due to deeply entrenched global biases against the way Poland collects its data. 16 85 1.9K 42K
G ... ganii @gahhnie rare recommendations pull March 29th 20 2:41 12 years of chasing my wife with a lobster 2025) Update) JonTheBoss 996K views.2 weeks ago 4:44 AM Apr 16, 2025 1M Views 60 6.5K 102K 5K
Vanessa @Nessakins_ 22h ... I thought gooning meant eating the entire bag of crab rangoons from the Chinese restaurant. You guys are sick. 353 1.4K 20K del 1M
s ... dj silky smooth @Jschwa95 Apr 15 Who else excited for SNL season finale?? MAY 3 DICK CHENEY THE DARE 5 95 2.5K 53K
GBR @GayBearRes Apr 15 ... There will be approximately 12,000 porn shoots at this location r/airbnb_hosts u/Wooden-Technology-92 5h Guest asking to stay for 4 months, price is over $27000. I am new to hosting and got a message from someone saying they're coming to film for a tv company and want to stay for 4 months right through our peak season. Airbnb totals it to $27,000+ which seems like an insane amount for a 4 month stay in a one bedroom apartment. I have no idea how to proceed. What do you normally do when this happens? Please help! 113
S @maidenprincesss 13h ... met this guy at the club and i woke up to his cat cuddling my face??? 1K 17K 514K de 8M
Megan McArdle @asymmetricinfo.2 20h ... Airports are full of people who have discovered life hacks where the hack consists of violating social norms. 120 548 20K 845K
jamali chaidani @jamalichaidani .21h G ... When lived in France, everyday, I ate this, drank 1-2 bottles of wine, smoked 10 cigs. It was by far healthiest and happiest time in my whole life. 145 910 20K 504K
@King_Sukunaaa Apr 16 G ... King Sukuna Just imagined my wife in this color and got so excited passed out vinstar @Vinstar66 Apr 16 This color is bad. It's an unnatural shade of green 111 1.5K 29K del 913K
stoned cold fox ... @roastmalone_ weekends as an adult are neat because you can either do all your errands or you can do the things you enjoy but either way it's the wrong choice 9:20 PM Apr 16, 2025 3.2M Views 98 23K 217K 5.5K
D.R.G @DRG_tweets329.2 20h ... Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing 102 15K 58K del 1.1M
bryn @brynontwt. 23h ... i i used to draw tf outta that sun in the corner of the paper when i was a kid 326 9.9K 60K del 1.1M
will o'brien @willobri 17h ... Buying a ton of these and putting them on every Volkswagen and Porsche in San Francisco Free US shipping on $15+ sticker orders! Pretty RUDE Things I bought this before I knew he was a nazi 162 935 29K 626K
فلسطين حرة! s ... @jonnysocialism. 14h jonny HOW MUCH SAWDUST CAN EVERY POSE YOU PUT IN A RICE CRISPY - TREAT BEFORE PEOPLE - NOTICE? OTHESIS DATA a dabmoms RESULTS RIABLES THE - ATERIALS MOM PERFECT More Perfect Union @MorePerfectUS .. 16h BREAKING: The FDA is planning to end most of its routine food safety inspections, according to CBS News. 10 1K 10K del 111K
Uncle Sober @SobrietyField . 1 19h ... bet these ones are actually good for you, look how stoked that horse is! Cigarette Dystopia @CigsMake Apr 15 Chinese cigarettes 75 104 4.4K 98K del 2.1M
big content guy @bigcontentguy - 14h s ... didn't know being the man was illegal CONSEQUENCE @consequence. 1 19h Haley Joel Osment was arrested at a California ski resort and charged with public intoxication and possession of a controlled substance. Prior to his arrest, he attempted to board a ski lift with his helmet on backward-and without skis or a snowboard -> cons.lv/F7k4Lo 242 2.4K 57K del 3.1M
brazes @lordbrazes . 2 21h ... you told your groupchat already? god forbid i report back to headquarters 86 1.5K 9.9K del 300K
evan loves worf @esjesjesj 12h S ... Found the autistic person who destroys families, doesn't pay taxes, and cannot find love Mohe America Greaf Assin TION FOUN SERIES TRU and 711 8.5K 91K 879K
the heart Follow @Fredward3948576 hey bro you left your intoxicatingly sweet scent at my apartment.. and it's fading... 4:01PM . 4/14/25 119K Views 7 1K 9.2K 553

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