22 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of February 12, 2024

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22 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of February 12, 2024

Her web may connect them all, but in the case of Madame Web, the “them” in question is the critics writing scathing reviews of Dakota Johnson’s foray into the superhero machine. The Spider-Man spin-off that does everything in its (super)power not to mention Peter Parker by name spun up a startlingly weak $6 million opening at the box office and set a record low for the web-slinging universe with just a 14-percent score on Rotten Tomatoes. The movie has been slighted so much that a theater employee told one Twitter user to “just try to enjoy it.” This is advice that Johnson herself has yet to take, as the actress told the U.K.-based radio station Magic FM that she hasn’t “actually seen the movie” and “probably won’t.”

Thankfully for Johnson and everyone else involved in Madame Web, the future cult classic isn’t burning at the stake alone. Other digital burn victims this week included Babylon defenders, bird owners and the war criminals with a certain astrological makeup.

Cosmonaut sucraM (evil) @C... 13h ... Guy working at the theater saw I was seeing Madame Web and said try to enjoy it 58 686 26.1K 662K

bryonato @bryonato 4d Idc about the NFL but I decided to throw on the Nickelodeon broadcast of the game & just listened to Spongebob make a joke about Leonardo DiCaprio only dating women in their early 20s on national TV and I think that's great S S SUPER-BC BESTIFIAS CHIEFI & 10 DOWNIEVER! CS 1ST NO RACISM SF 10 be KC 3 3RD 12:31 21 BESTIFIAS 24 2.1K 40K 900K

Not Frm 63rd @CastroTrapMoney 4d F. Why five guys burger always look like somebody just took it out they pocket? Food Porn @FoodPornPhotos . ! 5d Who has the best fast food burger? Wendy's McDonald's White Castle Shake Shack Five Guys Burger King 833 14K 245K 10M

that blonde from nashville, esq. @thehailee... 3d ... not surprised men think 54 seconds is a long time B-R Bleacher Report @BleacherReport.3d Taylor Swift was shown for less than 1% of the entire Super Bowl broadcast (h/t:u/JPAnalyst/Reddit) H/T: U/JPANALYST/REDDIT B-R RENZE 1 B7 54 SECONDS TAYLOR SWIFT SCREEN TIME DURING SUPER BOWL LVIII 2.1K 30K 314K 18M

с ripford @cripfordperhaps 3d u eatin like a rottweiler in an underground dog fighting circuit FREEBANDZ @bxbyyhxrii - 3d girl dinner no bev 211 6.6K 88K 3.9M

Charles J. Moore @charles270 . 4 4d He's a little lad who loves berries & cream 4/6 1000 775 13K 130K del 7.1M

Odie Hanma @L0b4... . 2d CEO Of Tboy Lobo ... How would either of them kiss without lips Nadine @NadineQueer.2 2d NOW GIVE US THIS YOU COWARDS! DATION SAG-AFTRA SAG SA G-AFTRA FOUNDATION FOUNDA FOU NDATION SAG-AFTRA SA SAG AFTR G-AFTRA FOU FOUN INDATION NDATION RA SA AG-AFTRA FOU TION NDATION !! PRA 64 1.5K 22K 628K

First name Strooken, Last name MaDeek @gar... 4d ... When Alicia hit her first note 25 769 3.5K 162K

a very normal and sane person @hatercore.3d Не looks like a successful experiment on a rat turning it into a human Pop Base @PopBase. 3 3d Selena Gomez stuns in new photos with Benny Blanco. 125 2.5K 38K del 2M

mel @memegodmel • 20h the way them ancient #freeks was moving I assumed it's been legal POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.20h Greece has officially legalized same-sex marriage. 72 6.9K 97K 3.2M

Kit Kat ((commissions paused)) @kittischmitti.2d ... The costumes are actually really cute here I can't wait to see how astronomically they fuck them up with their final designs HIT 4 35 420 10K 142K

katie @tightropealone 4d ... the chiefs are playing like they're the ones that just played 4 shows in tokyo and flew back to be here 29 3.2K 40K 917K

tia @dontfacetimeme.4 4d Im at this ghetto ass Superbowl party and they still tryna find a stream & somebody screamed I FOUND ONE and it was a stream of somebody playin Madden 498 9.6K 154K 5.1M

jer @jerachi_ 2d ... I've had enough what's your sign 3:56AM I'm a Scorpio 3:57AM • Sent You can no longer send Direct Messages to this person. Learn more 20+ jer @jerachi_ 1/8/24 U tell a girl you're a scorpio and they look at you like you're a war criminal 32 63K 125 1K

kenny @evilbeast382941 - 1d Bird owners be like this is my disgusting piece of shit animal that shits everywhere and screams loud as fuck for no reason and also looks fucking stupid. No you can't pet it it will attack you 23 245 2.8K 64K

M ert @mertcentury 5d Fattest fucking moment of my life was in 2016 I ordered two sausage McGriddles and the lady working the counter said TWO?! 71 861 19K 736K

Corn @upblissed.3d ... Paris Mercedes Fendi Minaj yea those resumes getting thrown into a volcano Imani Co @maniitsunamii - 4d y'all ain't fw my baby names Baby names Armani Dior Fendi Minaj Amiri Wvnter Dior Chanel Telfar Dubai Paris Mercedes Ayden, Kayden, Jayden Nevaeh Kaylani, Milani, Alani, Tsunami, Navani Amor 14K 885 163K 12M

PhillyCaralho @CaralhoPhilly 19h I can't even imagine what the per capita alimony payment m is in this video AL Khan @caan_al 1d No matter how bad you feel about yourself, at least you didn't spend $7,000 for an Alpha Male Bootcamp just to be screamed at in an office parking lot CC INSTRUCTOR 56 723 18K 730K

Friedkin February @LazlosGhost 11h The problem with defending Babylon by posting a scene from the movie is that everyone else can see the scene from Babylon. Brian Rowe @mrbrianrowe. 1d So much outrage for Margot Robbie missing in Best Actress for Barbie when really her major Oscar snub was in Best Actress last year for Babylon! CG 1:12 77 114 2.7K 315K

stefan @stefanbertin . 1d I find her persistence so inspirational Bennifer Updates @BenniferUpdates.3d Jennifer Lopez shares snippet of 'Rebound' from her new album #ThislsMeNow out this Friday. C 139 25 2.1K 146K

REDACTED Sportello @BenShh1.20h store my dumb fucking orphan nephew who i hate WISECONNECTOR TM ... @wiseconn... . 2d What would you do with this space? 23 1.9K 48K 1.9M

@fvzzii. 2d Look at him & tell me he hasn't taken a life chase @funnysmartguy12.4d KC STI MIEFS IEBES KINGDOM balencia FEASTA 383 3.8K 99K 4.5M

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