28 Things Seen By Tour Guides That Definitely Weren’t What They Signed Up For

A woman tried to sit her newborn on a wild buffalo
28 Things Seen By Tour Guides That Definitely Weren’t What They Signed Up For

The existence of the term “touron” (a portmanteau of tourist and moron) is proof enough that traveling renders people stupid. Whether they’re visiting another state or trekking across the world, plenty of tourists have committed acts of stupidity so astounding that you wonder how they’ve managed to get through daily life otherwise unscathed. For instance, what do you say to the woman who told a tour guide that she packed bikinis and shorts when visiting Alaska “because the Weather Channel shows Hawaii and Alaska next to each other”? Clearly her parents, the school system and basic common sense have eluded her, and she ended up freezing on vacation because of it. 

Reddit’s most exasperated guides have retraced the map to locate the dumbest tourists on Earth, and boy will you think twice before asking a question on an excursion. 

LaGiulia 8y Visitor: You're not from around here, are you? Me: Actually I am, born and raised. Visitor: Well I've been coming to the south for 25 years and you just don't seem like you're from here. Me: Well ummmm my parent's don't have strong accents either. Visitor: I just think I would like you better if you had a southern accent. Sorry that playing up to stereotypes is not in our visitor's services manual. I'm here to talk about history not recreate your southern fantasy. ... 1.9k RockFourFour 8y Bless your heart. ... 923
Asian_Dumpring . 8y I went on a cruise to Alaska one summer. One of the other passengers, a girl in her early 20's, packed only bikinis, short shorts, and tank tops. One of the landing party tour guides asked her why she didn't pack more warmly. She said it was because the weather channel always shows Hawaii and Alaska right next to each other. I gave up on the human race right then. ... 111
xaviira . 4y Used to give tours of a historic wooden grain elevator and farm buildings from the early 1900s. Had a guest ask Isn't it amazing how much healthier everyone was back then, before we had all these chemicals?. At the time, we were standing next to a machine that was used to coat grain with formaldehyde to make it last longer. ... 7.5k
Queenofscots1542 . 4y I once worked as a tour guide in Edinburgh. At 1pm every day the one o clock gun is fired from Edinburgh Castle. I have been asked more times than I can count, what time does the one o clock gun go off? I also loved being asked when Scottish people celebrate New Year's Eve. I thought she was joking so I said the 25th of July. She wasn't joking! ... 2.1k
 . 8y I think I missed the boat on this one, but I was a tour guide at a horse track, and someone asked me how do you know who wins?... .. you know, because the horse who finishes first wins. ... 13
By_Another_Name. 8y I worked at the Visitor's Center in Gettysburg for a while. Here are some of my favorites - some of them personally overheard, some of them passed down via word of mouth. Do they take the monuments in at night, or just leave them on the battlefield? Why aren't there any bullet holes in the monuments? Oh, I didn't have any ancestors back then. ... 708
jingasm 8y I was on one of those Big Bus tours of San Francisco in the evening. Last ride for the night. The tour guide probably mentioned five times before leaving that it would be freezing up top and that no one could go up or down the stairs during the hour tour because it was dangerous. This couple was at the top with their INFANT (wearing nothing but a onesie with a thin bed sheet over the carrier). The tour guide suggested multiple times that they stay downstairs since it would be freezing. Well, it felt something like 30
thundersquirt 4y My Girlfriend worked at the Sherlock Holmes museum in London (at 221b Baker Street) and apparently a surprising number of fully grown adults are under the impression that Sherlock Holmes is an actual living person who really lives there. The worst part was that they weren't allowed to disabuse the guests of their misconception so when the guests would ask where is Sherlock Holmes she'd have to say something like Oh he's just out on a case at the moment. Seriously weird tbh. ... 4.8k
windwolfone . 8y Yellowstone National Park tourists: Where do they put the animals in winter? (At the beginning of a river raft float): So the boat ends back here right? (Yes ma'am, this is a circular river.) Finally, a question so stupid, you wonder how they came up with it: What time of the year do the deer turn into elk? ... 617
ZohanDvir . 8y I was visiting the National Mall and overheard a little girl asking her mom to see the White House. The mother yelled at her because they were standing right in front of it. We were actually in front of the Capitol Building. ... 423
DRW0813 . . 8y I was on a tour of the Vatican and one person seriously kept asking when we get to meet the pope ... 1.5k
TheLittleUrchin . 4y I have so many. To date the stupidest thing was when someone brought a live turtle they found in one of our botanical gardens to the front door of the European art gallery and asked where they should put it. Like I dunno, maybe back where you found it? ... 555
ArjanB . 8y I was with Great White cage diving tour in South Africa. Also there were several American college girls with. One jumped in the cage and came up spluttering, IT'S SALTY!!!!. Yup the ocean usually is. ... 242
lamDekDomino . 8y When I was in Yellowstone National Park, a tourist (or touron def:a mix between a tourist and a moron) was trying to take a picture with some buffalo. Не had his child, probably three years old with him, and he was walking towards the buffalo. His wife was holding the camera, ready to take the picture. I knew that he was trying to put his kid onto the buffalo or pose with it or something else immensely idiotic. Fortunately, a park ranger stopped him before anything serious happened. Apparently this is fairly common in Yellowstone and most
Wintersoulstice . 8y I worked at this resort in Jasper national park, Canada. That lake really is that same spectacular blue-green colour IRL, and very clear. I had people earnestly ask me if we drained it and painted the bottom blue. We also had wild elk wandering around the resort property to graze, and I was asked on more than one occasion where we keep them during the day (They are most active at dawn and dusk) ... 69
BarbBushsBeastlyBush .  8y In Wyoming it is common to buy bear spray (highly concentrated pepper spray) when heading into Yellowstone. One tourist believed it was bear repellent, lined up his family and sprayed all of them. Chemical burns for everyone! As a raft guide we regularly got asked whether we would be passing the same spot/going through the same rapid later in the journey. We would reply why yes, this is actually one of the only circular rivers in the world! Q: How deep is the river? A: About chest high on a duck! ... 1k
CommissionerRuxin . 8y I was a tour guide for the Confederate White House in Richmond Virginia, where Jefferson Davis stayed while president of the Confederacy. I had a family come in thinking they had arrived at the the actual, real White House. It took me a second to realize they were serious. ... 44
Chillaxbro . 8y Not a tour-guide - But I once overheard a tourist ask a Sunset Cruise Captain in Key West How many Sunset Cruises do you do a day. The Captain just looked at him until the tourist goes, Oh - Oh yea.... and walked away sheepishly ... 1.6k
Kjfitz . 8y In the hills of North Carolina where Floridians flock in the summer to escape the summer heat. Elderly Floridian gets out of his Cadillac and scans the surrounding hills as the mechanic pumps gas for him. You must have a lot of inbred types in these hills. Mechanic shifts his chaw from one cheek to the other. Yup. Looks the Floridian over. But they mostly go back home in the fall. Spits. ... 185
accentmarkd 8y What do you mean? Why isn't 'African American' PC, are you racist over here? 'No, this is England. They're not Americans.' Even after this explanation he was very upset and didn't get it and continued to use the term 'African American,' offending Londoners everywhere he went. ... 1.1k
 . 8y I give tours in Vancouver, I had some Americans from Florida ask if we had Christmas here... They were also surprised that we had our own lottery. ... 93
puddles03 . . 8y I used to give tours on a glacial lake in Alaska. It never ceased to amaze me how many tourists asked if there were whales in the lake. ... 57
ER_FNP . 4y Guy at Gettysburg. Saw the cannons pointing straight up as part of a gate/entrance. Asked if they were anti- aircraft guns. .
 4y Tourist in Dutch windmills always ask where the engine is. They don't believe the wind can rotate the blades for some reason. This gets asked way too often. ... 6.9k
jmacdoogs 8y I'm a tour guide for a dogsledding company in Iceland and we get some really stupid questions. My favorite is when a customer first sees the 36 dogs and asks Do they have names??? Like we call them all by numbers. ... 27
luckynumbervi . . 4y Not me but my mom worked as a concierge in a mountainous town with a lot of wildlife and more than a couple people have asked her if they put the animals into the mountains at night ... 527
Ezbior . 8y Not exactly a tour guide, but I worked at a museum one summer. I was giving a speech on the sharks near the shark tank. At the end of it people normally come up and ask questions. One woman pus me aside and whispers is it true that men get periods on full moons? I told her no. But to this day I wonder if that's just me. ... 175
-yolo-swaggins- - 8y I'm a tour guide in a pretty large cave, and last week I had a guy point at a pile of cinder blocks on the side of one of the paths and ask So are those naturally occurring down here? Не was serious. ... 173


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