19 of the Craziest Experiences at Massage Parlors

A client’s back mole came off
19 of the Craziest Experiences at Massage Parlors

When you think about the horrifying things massage therapists witness, your mind likely wanders to the hornball client who gets an erection the moment the massage begins. You likely aren’t considering that a massage therapist could contract scabies from a client and then unknowingly pass it on to their significant other, extended family and beloved pet dog. Unfortunately, that kind of thing is very, very possible — and deeply, deeply horrifying. Oh, and yeah, there’s also the hornball clients who get erections. 

Redditors have worked out the kinks of the worst experiences they’ve had on the massage table, and there are more prolapsed uteruses than you’d expect.

Mastr121 . 5y Mother in law was one and would tell stories about this one guy that always pitched a tent the second the massage started to the end which the session would last over an hour. Kinda surprised that he could keep the thing up that long. ... 28
anomalicspork. 1 12y My sister works in women's health physical therapy, and, while working where the sun don't shine, the woman's uterus prolapsed (fell out, still attached). ... 115
clocksailor . 1 12y My friend's in massage school, and one of her professors had a guy jizz during a foot rub. ... 142
AzizYogurtbutt . 12v I'm not a massage therapist, but I used to hook up with one. She got scabies from a client, and I got it from her. Also, my whole family and dog got it from me. We spent about $300 on Lindane and had to wrap all the furniture in trashbags for 3 weeks. ... 104
tana-ryu . 7y It was before I gave a massage. I had a guy called me later in the evening to schedule a massage for a Saturday. No biggie. The day of the massage, he asked if we would both be naked during the massage and if I did prostate massage. I told him no and that I was cancelling the massage. Не didn't even make it to my table. ... 64
DPerman1983 12y Aside from people farting in my face when they flip over, there are so many horror stories. I had a woman who clearly had issues wiping her asshole...and I knew this because of the dirty wad of TP stuck to her lower back. Session over ... 97
alishaaaaaa e 8y Not including the odd rub and tug requests which every female therapist will get at least once during her massage career, I had a paraplegic once ask me to massage his nipples. Definitely wasn't for therapeutic purposes
bg12879 . 5y Obligatory not a massage therapist... my wife and I were doing a couples massage thing and had just been out to eat. I fell asleep during the massage and woke myself up when I farted. Gotta say the therapist was a real pro, just kept on with the massage like nothing happened. ... 62
 . 7y We had a double room at our spa so couples could be done side by side; I was massaging the dude while my coworker did the woman, he was obviously really enjoying it and asked jokingly if he could take me home with him. His gf proceeded to jump up from the bed, butt naked, and stormed out, but not before coming over to me to call me a bunny boiler. ... 251
fauno15 . 11y My mom is a massage therapist. She used to work out of our house. She had a studio downstairs where she would have people over for massages. One day, a woman came over who was probably in her late 60s. Oldish, slightly overweight woman. Now my mom, as is standard procedure, asks this woman to disrobe and get under the covers while my mom waited outside. When she came back in after a few minutes after asking if the woman was done, the woman was standing in the middle of the room completely naked. The woman said
 12y i am still fairly new to being an rmt. the worst thing to happen so far was when i was in the student clinic, there was about 6 rooms divided by hospital curtains that we would massage in. i had one gentleman who came in with lower back pain. little did i know how good i actually was at massaging. from outside the curtain you would think there was some freaky stuff going on. he was moaning like a female porn star. i was extremely uncomfortable, but he was just showing his appreciation. he came back week after
Bobiki 8y When I first started doing massage about 15 years ago I was working in a fancy spa type setting. I was doing a couples massage along with my coworker. I was massaging the lady and she was massaging the gentleman. Well, unfortunately the gentleman had a Sacajawea coin sized pus filled blister on his back that popped during the massage. Every time my coworker made a pass down his back the blister would glurp a little more of it's hell juice onto his back. Our clients were both face down so we were making the most wretched faces
beejeans13 12y Let me see... I treat a (retired) politician's wife who always has gas. She somehow always manages to fart in my face. Who knew this would be a part of the job? There's warts, smelly feet, skin eruptions and wounds; blackheads, whiteheads, fungal infections; sweat, body hair and erections. The list goes on... I had a 500lb man who had a yeast infection in his folds. Good god, I did not sign up for this! I don't know what was worse his smell or the fear that I would land on his naked body if the table collapsed.
 0 12y This happened to a massage therapist friend of mine: the guy she was working on was really creepy and kept asking her a lot of personal and borderline inappropriate questions. At one point, he informed her that his parents lived near her... evidently, when she left the room at one point he looked at a luggage tag on her bag and found out her address. She told people at the place about him, and the next time he showed up they informed him that she was unavailable to work on him and he'd have to settle for
IDreamofLoki . 5y Friend of mine is a massage therapist and her worst memory is when a clients back moles came off in her hands as she was working on them. She had another client that they had to ask to not come back because his во was so bad, he made half the spa stink and no ones gag reflex could handle the smell. Не tried pulling the race card on them and always showed up really late. On a different note, she said a pot of people will decide to come out to her because theybdknt feel safe
jp_mclovin . 7y I (28M) have had numerous older ladies ask to take me home with them. On one occasion, two ladies got a couples massage (they were just friends.) We start the massage and my lady comments on how great my hands are and something about being single. We finish the massages with only a few more strange comments. While we are waiting in the hallway with water, I hear the ladies talking. Mine says, I would've let him eat the pussy and bend me over that table. This massage was with my supervisor who was having troubles keeping a
Seventh7Son 12y Wow that's pretty crazy. I went and got a couples massage with my (now ex) wife about 5 years ago. She has had some very serious health issues and had a sizable chunk of her colon removed due to cancer. Anyway we get on our tables, and the lady working on her gets to her abdomen and says something like whoa holy shit you are all out of whack down here, I need to get your guts straightened out (something along those lines). So she spend about 45 minutes realigning her. Not sure if there was cause and
GreenStrong . 12y I have one as a client. I was at a massge school, recieving a massage from a student. Everything was going well enough, and she asked if I liked scalp massage; I said sure. I heard the lotion dispenser pump three times before my mind could wrap itself on the horror that was about to be inflicted upon me, a scalp massage with lotion. I have hair. ... 198
gaqua 12y My cousin Bryan is a massage therapist. Degree in sports medicine, years of experience with rehabilitation and physical therapy, and he runs a massage business because it's the most profitable where he's located. One time he's working on this big NFL guy, 6'5 and 300 lbs. Guy had some back problems. The guy's so big, Bryan has to stand on a stool to get high enough to get leverage to get his hands and elbows on this guy's lower back. He's massaging away, the guy says More pressure and asks for a more firm massage. He's done this

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